Early morning. You roll out of bed, feeling heavier than you did when you went to sleep. You got your 8 hours, but your brain is already racing through the daily to-do's before your feet even hit the floor.
“Let me check my email,” you mutter under your breath. But the thought of doing even that feels exhausting.
On your phone (because you're so "efficient"), you open your calendar and see all the tasks you planned yesterday—and start putting things off. Not because you don’t care, but because your mental energy is already taxed. That important client follow-up gets pushed to “later,” and you justify it:
“I’ll do it after I finish this big project.”
So, you skip breakfast and jump into that project, but your excitement is gone. Questions that used to energize you now feel irritating, and you find yourself thinking, “Why am I even doing this?” Small frustrations feel magnified, and the enthusiasm that once fueled your vision feels muted.
You grab food and eat lunch at your desk to squeeze in another task. Coffee replaces nourishment. A walk or a moment to breathe feels impossible. Energy dips, muscles ache, and your patience thins—yet you keep pushing.
By early afternoon, even simple decisions feel heavy. Should you reply to that email now or wait? Should you tackle marketing or bookkeeping first? Your mind cycles endlessly, and your usual creative solutions feel out of reach.
Headaches creep in, shoulders tighten, and stomach discomfort reminds you that stress is taking its toll. You notice the small signs, but there’s no time to pause. You push through anyway, hoping it will pass.
"There's too much to do. I'll sleep when I'm dead," you joke.
But that joke's not funny anymore, and you're starting to think you're calling something into existence.
If this feels eerily familiar, you're not alone. What looks like just another day "on your hustle and grind" could also be the red flags of something else that's going to keep you stuck at a plateau indefinitely.
You’re working harder, thinking you’re “doing what it takes,” but results stall—or worse, regress.
More effort doesn't always leads to more success.
Leaders often focus on enhancing their competencies—skills and knowledge—believing learning more or doing more will solve the problem. Fusion Creatives are known to be "credential collectors". And my neurospicy and multipassionate folks may also find it challenging to accept that knowing more isn't insurance against burnout. In my experience, it can sometimes even hasten the onset!
I kind of blame Einstein for this. He's the one who said we can't solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them. This leads a lot of people to think that more thinking is the solution.
That only works if you've got the capacity to execute on that new way of thinking!
Capacity development involves building the internal resources to handle complexity and change. Without developing the capacity to manage increased demands, even the most competent leaders can struggle to maintain performance (source).
When your effort outpaces your capacity, you create drag. Systems strain, decision quality drops, and your creativity - the very thing that built your success - gets buried under exhaustion.
Before you know it, effort is outpacing capacity, and your business suffers. Recognizing this early can allow you to course-correct before burnout hits.
It starts small... procrastination or task avoidance (source)—but then it compounds. Decision fatigue. Emotional friction, self-neglect, and physical fatigue slowly creep in.
Here's another scenario:
A colleague invites you to a connect. You decline. A friend texts to check in. You don’t respond. Engaging socially feels like extra work. Your world narrows to your tasks, leaving less energy for connection.
You feel like you’ve run a marathon in slow motion. Your mind is foggy, and your body aches. Sleep might come tonight, but even rest won’t fully restore you—because the cycle has been building for weeks.
Maybe months.
Mistakes you normally wouldn’t make have slipped through the cracks. Deadlines are missed or postponed. You know you’re capable of more, but your current capacity isn’t enough to support the level of effort you’re putting in. Anxiety creeps in as you think about tomorrow—and the day after.
This is the pattern your business can fall into when effort outpaces capacity. It starts small—a skipped break, a postponed task—but compounds into a full-blown misalignment between energy, attention, and output.
The good news? You don’t have to reach this point.
Many leaders equate increased effort with greater impact, assuming that doing more (working harder or longer) will yield better results. However, this overlooks the importance of aligning effort with capacity.
Without sufficient capacity (resources like time, energy, and money, among others), additional effort can lead to burnout, not to mention losing your effectiveness (source). Success, then is not just a function of effort. It's also a function of the capacity to execute effectively.
Or said differently, your strategy has to match your capacity.
"Success ...is not just a function of effort. It's also a function of the capacity to execute effectively."
- Lisa Robbin Young
Look, I get it. When things get stressful, we often look to what we can do to fix things. Because not doing something feels wrong. We've heard "somebody do something" in so many crisis scenarios - in life and on TV - that it has become sort of a cultural default setting.
According to an article in the Harvard Business review, busyness has become some sort of status symbol. The article mentions research report that shows how, in various parts of the world, "people consider those who exert high effort to be 'morally admirable,' regardless of their output." So, this isn't just a U.S. phenomenon.
The past 6 months have been an emotional and physical roller coaster for me. Moving from Bloomington, Indiana to the Pacific Northwest was just the tip of the iceberg. The stress of caregiving for my partner after 4 heart procedures and surgery for cancer was a lot. Oh, and I am filming for a reality show while also trying to find a new editor for said show, because my editor went back to school to pursue an IT degree when federal funding for public media was cut.
Clients don't stop needing support just because things in my life go off the rails. There are still sessions, deliverables, and meetings that have to happen. And they do. And I still have to take care of myself.
Which... to be honest... wasn't happening. I was waking up with a sense of dread - not because I didn't love my work, but because it all felt like too much for one person to carry. I stopped saying yes to social invitations. Me. An extrovert who mostly LOVES being where people are.
That's when I remembered to review my Conditions for Success.
I'd fooled around with this concept in workshops in the past, in a somewhat generic way. There's a sheet in my annual planner where you record the things that help set you up for success. That helps you be intentional about creating an Environment of Empowerment that gives you as many advantages as possible.
Maybe that means starting the morning with coffee in your favorite mug. Or maybe that means getting the right amount of sleep in a bed that's actually comfortable. Whatever those things are for you, document them and start arranging your life to include them.
But this time, instead of just making a quick list, I went deeper. Because I'd seen where this surface-level ideation wasn't always helping my clients. Sure, a good cup of coffee can start you off right, but those effects wear off. What about things that would have more of a lingering effect?
Yes, your environment, but what else?
Turns out, your Conditions for Success aren’t just about energy, tools, or mindset—they include the world you choose to live and work in. Sometimes, the smartest move isn’t more effort, it’s moving toward contexts that naturally amplify your zone of genius or your ability to find success for yourself or your work.
In my exploration and research, I've identified 7 domains that range from the highly personal (that we can control) to the more global (where we have minimal individual influence).
In all, there are about 25 different things inside these 7 domains to consider in your Conditions for Success. Even though you can't control or directly influence all of them, awareness that they even exist gives you the ability to better design your Conditions for Success.
By assessing your 7 Domains, you can identify where effort is exceeding capacity and course-correct before burnout, inefficiency, or frustration take hold.
When you operate in full alignment - meaning your values, goals, energy, resources, and client work are all moving in sync - a number of shifts happen. These changes are often subtle at first but become deeply impactful over time, both internally (how you feel, how the team functions) and externally (client results, reputation, growth).
When your values and purpose are aligned, leaders report much greater clarity. Decisions become easier because they have a filter: does this align with what I care about? What I stand for?(source) You waste less time on deliberation - playing “should I or shouldn't I?” - because you have internal criteria for what fits.
Doing work that aligns with your values ignites intrinsic motivation — doing things because they matter, not just for money or recognition (though, that's great, too!). That gives you the ability to stick with things when it gets hard.
When your work, your client relationships, and your schedule all align with your values and capacity, you reduce internal friction. You tend to take more sustainable care of yourself: rest, breaks, saying “no” more often (because misalignment often forces those to fall by the wayside). Full alignment supports self-care, which helps you replenish your capacity (source).
Being aligned means you're more likely to show up as your true self. That builds credibility. Teams, clients, collaborators sense authenticity, and trust increases. when you are clear about your values, your way of working, and your goals, you attract clients who match (source). That means fewer misalignments over deliverables or expectations. Relationships become more collaborative and less draining.
That’s exactly what the Conditions for Success workshop will help you do: spot the gaps, understand the root causes, and create a plan to work smarter, not harder.
Give yourself the gift of commitment to YOU. Set aside a minimum of 15 minutes in your weekly calendar. Treat this pause like a meeting with your most important client - you (or your business). Honor this commitment as best as you can.
Review your tasks and calendar commitments for the urgent and the important. What tasks are sucking up energy without delivering proportional value (busy work, low-leverage admin, etc.)? Be ruthless. Especially if you've got extra capacity constraints, it's important to focus your resources on the items you know are the most impactful and require the fewest resources. I call this HI-MR-C. You can see it in action in my One Move That Matters for Greater Visibility workbook. While that version is for your visibility efforts, the concept applies to any situation where you need to invest limited resources and need a positive return on that investment. So, really, anywhere. Focus, as much as you are able, on things that are high impact that also require the fewest resources.
Will other things slip onto your radar? Probably.
Sometimes you'll need all your spoons for something unexpected. That doesn't mean throw out your regular plan, it just means pause it, for now. Set a boundary to protect your capacity as you are able. And give yourself recovery time - even something small like a 5-minute reflection, stretching, or journaling.
Humans are not machines. We are not always predictable nor are we always built to be efficient. We are complex organisms, functioning inside a complex ecosystem. Hijinks will ensue.
-Lisa Robbin Young
Notice, I keep saying "as you are able" - because our capacity to "do" varies from day to day. Society wants us to believe something very different than that.
Why?
It's called the Capitalist "machine" for a reason. Machines are often predictable and built to be efficient, so creating metrics around "machine-like precision" are very attractive. But they also set up the very unrealistic expectations that underpin many of the problems with Capitalism.
Humans are not machines. We are not always predictable nor are we always built to be efficient. We are complex organisms, functioning inside a complex ecosystem. Hijinks will ensue.
The goal then, isn't to eliminate the complexity so much as to work with it. To have a strategy that matches the flexing capacity of our very human nature.
Make the commitment to take time for yourself... even small "stolen" moments make a difference and help build momentum. Over time, as your alignment improves, you'll find yourself "finding" more time and adjusting your capacity. Maybe even growing it.
But for now, awareness is a good place to start.
My latest workshop, Conditions For Success: The 7 Domains That Shape Sustainable Growth is happening Friday, November 7 at 11am Pacific US Time (2pm Eastern). It's free to all members of the Rising Tide community. Not a member? That's also free (for now)! Get signed up and save your spot!
I've been looking for reminders lately.
Things that remind me who I really am... who I really WANT to be in the world.
That happens sometimes when you start questioning everything. When everything starts to feel unsteady, uncertain, unsure.
Two things from my annual Creative Freedom retreat this year keep coming back to me.
The SWOT Analysis - where several folks listed the outcome of this year's election as a potential threat to their business - and the reminder I shared with everyone on repeat:
Remember who you are.
When the world is off-kilter, dangerous, and hard to take...
Remember who you are.
Stand moored. Resolute in what it is that you stand for, what you believe in, and what you're about in this world.
Remember who you are.
Don't let the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" take you out of the race.
Remember who you are.
Gird your loins, light your torch.
Remember who you are.
Mount your horse, draw your bow, raise your shield.
Remember who you are.
Sing your song. Create your art. Dance your dance. Speak your mind.
Remember who you are.
Protect your peace. Honor your boundaries. Rest. Then RISE.
Remember who you are.
Don't let the bastards get you down.
Remember who you are.
I wasn't trying to wax poetic when I started this. I was actually trying to get you to think more about who you are. What YOU stand for. What you WON'T stand for. Where do you draw those lines in the sand?
Believe it or not, those are important questions for your business, too. I'll share more tomorrow, but for now...
Remember who you are.
At the end of March, I had the honor of speaking at the TEDxBloomington Salon and it was amazing.
Salons are generally smaller scale TED-style events that are locally curated, like any TEDx event. Unlike a larger, full-day event where the talks can range pretty widely, Salons are generally on a more focused topic. Our topic was (sustain)ABILITY.
The theme still lends itself to some pretty wide-ranging topics, including a sonnet on sustainability, the importance of preserving indigenous language for future generations (and the tech to make it accessible to everyone), how kindness and generosity can sustain us, the 3 steps to find healing in business, and more. I look forward to sharing the talks once they're all uploaded, but for now, I can share my talk on How the Marginalization Tax impacts finding Enoughness for micro businesses. You can also access the bonus resources for my TEDx talk here.
My life is a paradox. As a business coach and entrepreneur, I rely on Capitalism to keep food on the table. And I help my clients to do the same. But as a human being, I also rail against what it seems like Capitalism has become: a money-grubbing, soul-crushing free-for-all for the wealthy elite that would rather leave our big blue marble than invest in healing, protecting, and sustaining it.
About 40% of my clients are multiply marginalized, many with a chronic illness, disability, or other capacity-limiting constraints that have essentially forced them to leave traditional employment and go out on their own because it works for how they're built. Forced, because capitalism asks more of us than we can consistently give, and no one feels this quite as much as the marginalized people of the world.
Entrepreneurship then, becomes a way for them to "leverage" the capacity they DO have - but not everyone is equipped to meet the challenges of entrepreneurship.
The incessant invitation to grow for growth's sake is a siren's song that hypnotizes entrepreneurs into the trap of adding one more zero to our revenue… and then another… and then another. But that "MORE" doesn't include room for things like more rest, more play, more ease - unless you hustle your face off first. There's this persistent myth that if you just work hard enough long enough and do your best, you'll make it to that "some day" where you can retire in style.
But Capitalism asks for more than many of us can give. And it has a bad habit of moving the goal posts on us.
With so many companies shooting for the moon - both literally and figuratively, this incessant drive for "More" isn't a sustainable path. How do we find the sustainable path in business? We strive for Enoughness instead.
When we look to nature, a cactus can thrive on very little water and a lot of sun. That is Enoughness for the cactus. If you flood the desert, the cactus rots. If you take away the sun, the cactus starves.
So Enoughness looks different in different situations.
For the folks that I work with, Enoughness is a result of building a business that works for their unique situation.
They are not corporate behemoths. They are parents, artists, travelers, authors, healers, activists, and more. They want a living wage that allows them to retire a spouse or provide for their families, and be able to enjoy the fruits of their labors - even when Capitalism tries to ask more of them than they can give on their own.
For years, I've taught what I call your Enoughness Number. It's essentially the revenue your business needs to bring in on an annual basis in order to have an experience of Enoughness. Not excessive, but appropriate. Not just subsisting, like so many marginalized folks do, but thriving.
But then one of my non-normative clients pointed out that I had not taken into account the additional resources required to navigate a world that asks more of you than you can give. We dubbed this added cost The Marginalization Tax.
At that time I was still under the spell of meritocracy. Just work harder. Keep working, and eventually you'll get there…. however long THAT is. I had always been able to keep working… until the day I needed back surgery. For eleven days I was unable to walk, stand, or otherwise move my body without substantial pain and significant help.
I was lucky I had help at home and owned my own business. If I'd been in a traditional job, I probably would have been fired or forced to use all my time off. And then where would I be for the rest of the year?
This tax is a spectrum of disadvantage based on a number of things like skin color, religion, gender expression, geography, age, body shape, economic status, social status, and basically any circumstance where there's a power imbalance that puts one group of people at an advantage to the detriment of others.
For example (and this isn't exhaustive, but you'll get the idea): I'm a cis, straight, neurodivergent, mixed-race, black woman that presents as white and able-bodied. I'm almost 50 and my body shape is not the socially accepted norm. I have a mix of privilege and disadvantage that impacts the resources I need. The more resources I need, the greater the marginalization tax I pay to participate in this world.
So let's look at what Enoughness looks like both with and without the Marginalization Tax applied so you can see how this works.
First, what are your total living expenses? Let's say $60k
Now add to that your growth. Maybe you've got a nice-to-have or a want that you'd like to see happen in the next year. That's your take-home pay requirement.
If you're a business owner, on top of your take home pay, what are the other "living expenses" of your business?
Then add your business growth to that. Maybe you want to launch a new offer and need to invest in infrastructure or support. Put it in your total.
Now add all that up and add a 10% cushion for unplanned surprises. They happen.
That's already a large number for a small business.
But, now we add the Marginalization Tax.
Based on where you fall on the spectrum, this could be anywhere from zero to as much as 50% of the total. Think that's steep? According to a 2021 report from the national women's law center, black women make a million dollars less over their career than white men. That's 37% less. That is the Marginalization Tax in action.
So we total this all up and there it is - one Enoughness Number that's drastically different than it would be if you didn't have to pay this tax.
Unlike the taxes you pay to your government each year, the bill for the Marginalization Tax comes due each day. This weekend my husband bought some cookies for $4. But I can't eat those cookies because some of the ingredients will hurt me. If I wanted to have a comparable amount of cookies that I can eat, I'd have to pay nearly 3 times as much - or I could spend just a few dollars more for all the ingredients and make them myself. Which would take an additional 45 minutes out of my day.
He can just open a package of cookies and go to town! The Marginalization Tax means I pay significantly more either in time or money - resources I may or may not have - just to enjoy a cookie.
Now you might say, "But Lisa, that's a cookie. A treat. You don't NEED a cookie. You can live without a cookie."
Yes, but why should I have to settle for less just because my body is built differently than yours?
But, let's say you're right and look at another case: One of my clients applied for medical disability long before we started working together. She had a profitable business that she'd built around her chronic illness which was so severe and variable that she never knew what her capacity to work would be like from one day to the next. Once she got approved for disability, she shut it all down. She said to me, "I can't jeopardize my disability payments. What if I go off disability and then my business has a down year? I'll have to re-apply and go through all of this all over again - and I might not survive!"
I don't blame her for wanting to protect herself and know that she can survive in a world that makes it hard for her to just exist. I blame the system where the deck is stacked against some of us and not others. That is the impact of the Marginalization Tax.
Everyone should be able to experience enoughness - a fully belly, a warm bed, and the safety of knowing they have what they need to thrive. There's certainly plenty on this planet to make it possible. But the playing field isn't level. What's worse, Capitalism keeps moving the goal posts.
But I believe that the best way to change a system is from the inside. That's why I'm a business owner. That's why I help other business owners - who aren't trying to hustle their face off to be a squijillionaire. They just want to find the balance that allows them to be paid well, within their capacity constraints, and have the time and energy to enjoy the fruits of their labors.
We don't need more rockets into space. We need more business owners striving for Enoughness for everyone.
When we have Enoughness it's… well, it's enough.
Like I said, it's a paradox.
When you started your business, it was probably pretty simple to handle everything on your own. You wore all the hats and maybe even wore them most of the time, because it was just you.
As your business expands, things often get more complicated. Now, wearing all the hats means you have no time to have a life! You might find that you're unable to keep up with everything like you once did.
Been there, done that!
Whether you're looking at delegating to other team members or automating a few things to relieve the pressure valve, you're going to need help to advance your company. Here are a few telltale signs that your home business has grown to the point where it needs to be more than just you.
It could be a sign that your home business is growing too big for just you if you find yourself working longer hours than you had planned. This could indicate that you are struggling to meet demand or that you just don't have enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. For instance, it can be a hint that you need assistance if you are spending more time handling administrative duties or customer service requests than actively operating the business.
Another sign that your firm is expanding and will need more resources is when you have observed a sustained and significant increase in revenue. Having additional help isn't free. You need to be able to financially sustain the help you're trying to hire. Once the income is there, hiring help can let you focus on other areas of running a successful business while also ensuring that all chores are handled effectively.
If you've already got some help, but still find that you are doing too much work that's outside your zone of genius, it may be a sign that you need more assistance. Although many business owners find this to be a challenging transition, it is crucial for the expansion and success of your home business. Hiring a specialist or a service provider like a VA agency like MyVA.Rocks or a marketing firm like Adtaxi could help with this.
The expectations of your company will rise along with the number of customers. It could be time to consider hiring someone else who can help fulfil demand if you discover that there aren't enough hours in the day to meet all of the demands of your customers. You might require someone to manage customer support or to contribute to further product development, for instance.
Finally, it could be time to make an investment in someone who can help manage this part of your organization if you notice that you are lagging behind on new technology and trends. Hiring a specialist in this area could make the difference between staying ahead or falling behind as staying ahead of the competition is vital for the growth of any firm. Hiring a social media expert, for instance, might help your business stay competitive if you find it difficult to keep up with the most recent developments in online marketing.
It could be a good idea to start thinking about employing extra workers to help operate your home business if any of these symptoms sound familiar. For your company to continue to succeed and keep up with demand, you must ensure that you have enough resources available. The most crucial thing is to choose carefully - but CHOOSE before it's too late. Preventative measures taken now can spare your company a lot of trouble in the future. Find someone with the abilities to support the success of your company by doing your homework!
There are a lot of things that go into being a successful entrepreneur. Time management. Organizational skills. Being able to make confident decisions under pressure. Your self-improvement work never really ends. Someone once said that entrepreneurship is one of the toughest personal development programs in the world, and I don't think they were wrong.
While it seems a little obvious to work on your so-called "weaknesses", most of the time it's actually better to stay in your zone of excellence and continue to refine your life and work there. But sometimes, when we get stuck, we need to look at those challenge areas in order to break through an old pattern or habit and continue to progress. Here are a few places to look:
Photo: Pexels.com - The Lazy Artist Gallery
Making a plan and setting aside consistent time to work on improving yourself both mentally and physically is a simple place to start. It can be anything from reading self-help books or blogs, working out, meditating, or attending workshops and seminars. What helps you grow as a person will likely also help you grow as an entrepreneur. Remember: when you're a solopreneur, problems in your business often create problems in your life and vice versa. When you are consistently working on becoming a better version of yourself, it will show in your life and work.
If you want to focus on personal growth, there are a few key areas you should concentrate on. When I work with my clients to help them build annual plans, we talk about fitness in terms of what's in the container (that is, your body) and what's being contained within that container (your energy, spirit, etc.). Things like this:
– Mental Health: Make sure to take care of your mental health! Entrepreneurship can be a very stressful journey, so it is essential to find ways to relax and de-stress. What does your mind need to feel nourished, fulfilled, and challenged appropriately?
– Physical Health: Just as important as mental health is physical health! When you are physically healthy and have lots of energy, it will show in your work. What are you doing to help keep your container healthy and well so it can hold all your awesomeness for years to come?
– Emotional Intelligence: One of the most essential skills for entrepreneurs is emotional intelligence. This means being able to understand and navigate your emotions, as well as those of others. This may look like planning time away, deepening your connections with others, or letting go of some relationships in order to set, and honor your boundaries.
Another great way to better yourself as an entrepreneur is to focus on education. This doesn’t necessarily mean going back to school, although that is an option. There are plenty of other ways to continue learning and growing as a business person. You can read blogs and books on entrepreneurship, attend seminars workshops for business owners. You can do courses specifically to hone your craft, get a specialty certification (AtHomePrep is one example) or to improve your business skills. You can even turn your car into a mobile classroom by listening to business podcasts. The important thing is that you are regularly learning new things and growing your knowledge base. In business, if you're not learning, you're falling behind.
This isn't just an invitation to read or take classes. Education comes in a variety of ways:
These are just a few ways you can better yourself as an entrepreneur. If you want to be successful in business, it is essential to focus on personal growth, education, and expanding your horizons through connecting with others. Need some support? Depending on where you're at in business, the Creative Freedom Incubator or my Star Power program may be exactly what you're looking for. Both are open for enrollment and have limited capacity. You can also dip your toe into an upcoming workshop to learn more!
This is Season Four, Episode Six. This is the next logical step after our last episode. Once you get clear that it's time to raise your rates, how, exactly do you go about raising them? Have a listen to this week's episode, where I walk you through a few different approaches, from the basic, Nike approach (just DO it already!) to the "Tuna Can" approach and more. This is the fifth episode in a series about overcoming underearning.
Speaking of which, my program Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs is now open. If you need support in owning the value you bring to the marketplace, and adjusting your prices accordingly join us! Students are already reporting positive results!
Download Season 4 Episode 6 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
4:22 - Several options to raise rates with existing clients
10:23 - 2 of the 4 big questions every offer needs to answer (and why it matters to your pricing)
14:26 - How one coach cut her content in half and doubled her rates, effectively quadrupling her hourly rate.
21:26 - DIY, DWY, DFY - and how I use these tiers in my own business
Not a member yet? It's free! Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
Are you being a doormat in your business?
Do you constantly put everyone else's needs ahead of your own?
If so, you're not alone. This week, we're focusing on one way to mitigate the 5 core symptoms of underearning: learning how to say "no" with class and authenticity. This is the third in a series of videos this summer about overcoming the cycle of underearning.
As a mom and recovering pleaser, I have struggled with this issue personally for YEARS. This week's episode shares some examples and word choices you can swipe to help you practice saying "no" with class and confidence before the moment strikes. I also share an important warning about the tricky way your "no" can turn into an unwanted "yes" or a straight-up lie if you're not careful.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments. Your insights may spark a conversation that helps someone else!
Mentioned in this episode:
If you haven't already accessed this week's bonus content, you'll want to do that here. Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for email updates, you also get access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and other downloadables!
Fashion jewelry from Kerianne at FancyBargain.com. Tell her you saw her bling on Creative Freedom!
Video clip/song: "Yes" by LMFAO
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Four. Where we talk about how to say "no" with class and authenticity. Got someone who wants to pick your brain, ask you for a discount, or - GASP! - work for exposure? Need a classy way to say "um, no thanks!" without burning bridges or sounding like a jerk? You need this episode!
Being a doormat in your business sucks, quite frankly. It's also potentially a sign of co-dependence, which is one of our 5 Symptoms of Underearning. If you're saying yes to everyone and everything except yourself, it's time to re-wire your brain. Saying "no" is sexy, y'all, and today, I'm sharing tips to help you say it with class & authenticity. This is the third episode in a Summer-long series that deals with different aspects and triggers for underearning.
Need help with that whole "re-wiring" thang? Look no further than Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs. In just 5-weeks, you could build the clarity, confidence, and courage you need to finally beat the cycle of underearning once and for all. Plus, you get individualized email support throughout the program, so you're never alone in this journey.
Download Season 4 Episode 4 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
3:08 - The alternative to the vicious cycle of deadbeat clients and doing work you hate.
04:32 - The "Beef Stew" problem that shows up when you don't stand your ground and say "no".
9:00 - The importance of honoring boundaries
12:06 - What to say when someone is trying to talk you down on your rates
16:00 - The importance of saying "no" and trusting others to do their own work.
19:16 - The greatest lesson my Mom ever taught me.
24:03 - What happens when the desire to "not lose" ruins your plan to succeed (and how to fix it)
Still trying to decide what to say yes to, and what to say no to? There's an exercise in the Rising Tide this week for you to try.
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Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
No sooner had I finished my lunch when the phone rang. It was my oldest.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Not really, Mom. Aunt Dian died."
Less than an hour later, I was on the road to Michigan. 9 hours later, I'm crashing at my ex-husband's house for the night. That meant I wasn't able to have any studio recording time this week to film new episodes of Creative Freedom for you.
And that turned out to be an important business lesson I didn't want you to miss.
People are born. People die. Stuff happens in "the in between years." You leave a thumbprint on the lives of many people in those years.
As a creative entrepreneur, our work is often an extension of who we are. It's not like you can put it on the shelf at 5pm and call it a day. It follows you everywhere, like a toddler who just wants more Mommy time. It wakes you from sleep. It keeps you up at night.
So it can be hard to really step back and NOT work on your business in some form or another.
In theory, I suppose you could say that we never REALLY step away, since inspiration is everywhere. But taking an intentional break is important to restore your spirit. ESPECIALLY if someone close to you has died.
This week's Special Edition episode is me, after a good bout of ugly crying, explaining why I'm taking a short hiatus.
Taking a hiatus is a great way to get a fresh perspective. I was already planning changes and updates to the Incubator, A-Club, and my coaching program, but hadn't had the bandwidth to really consider how I wanted to handle it. This time away frees up my brain to work on all the "back burner" stuff that's been marinating. And the best part is that my brain handles that without my intervention. I can be focused on my family, my own self-care, and just being present to the grief and mourning that I need to process.
Even when you're not grieving, a hiatus can be helpful to clear your head and give you a fresh perspective on your life. Unlike a day off, a vacation or a retreat, this is an intentional abstention from work-related activities for an extended period of time - usually longer than 2 weeks. Television shows have an "off season" when they are on hiatus. It gives the writers a chance to prepare new content and the actors a chance to get away and focus on other projects. That's what this is, only much shorter.
You won't see me on social media much. There won't be any new blog posts, and the newsletter probably won't go out - any training you've signed u for will still go out as scheduled, and you can still take the free quiz and get your results right away. And I'm still here, I'm just taking a big step back for a couple of weeks while my heart heals.
But I'll be back, so if you've got a question you'd like to see me answer, contact me and let's add it to the list. In the meantime, hug your loved ones. In the end, they're everything.
How is it that one creative entrepreneur can have "instant success" while another puts in years of effort with little financial success to show for it?
If that's a question you've ever asked yourself, you're gonna LOVE this week's episode! I've talked at length before about the myth of the big break, and the myth of "overnight success". I'll probably talk more about it in the future, too. There are different definitions of success, however, so let me be clear. Today I'm talking about financial success.
You can put in way more than 10,000 hours toward your craft and still not be financially successful. Even if those hours are "deliberate practice," there are a series of steps every creative entrepreneur must go through in order to turn their craft into a well-paying career. There are lots of options at each of those steps, so what you choose will likely look different than anybody else, but the steps themselves are static. Meaning, you can't achieve financial success until you accomplish these three things. Let Peter Gabriel, Dale Chihuly, Danny DeVito, and Thomas Kinkade illustrate:
This is one of the most interesting take-aways from the work I'm doing for my upcoming book. Every creative entrepreneur that finds financial success goes through these three stages of business growth. Every single one of them. Some move quickly from one stage to the next, while others struggle for a while at one stage or another. But every one of the creatives I've interviewed or researched (again, I say, EVERY ONE OF THEM) went through these three stages to achieve the financial success they desired.
What's that thing that you do best? Not "better than everyone else," though that can help set you apart faster. More like "better than anyone else in your circle of influence." You're not looking for the thing that only you can do. If you have that, cool, but so many creatives get hung up on being completely unique. It's actually better and easier to find the thing you do really well - even if someone else does it, too. Because then you can put your twist on it and still give people a point of reference. The point of reference makes it easier for people to relate to you. Being completely unique requires a lot of extra time and energy to educate your potential audience. Being similar, but different, makes it easier for people to "get" you.
Plus, when you're similar, but different, it helps colleagues and collaborators work with you, refer to you, and spread the word about your awesomeness. You're no longer an army of one, trying to do it all yourself. Instead, you've got a growing network of people that know you, like, you, and trust you, that want to collaborate, rather than compete with you. Collaboration makes almost everything easier, because you can share the load... something most creatives have a hard time doing, but when they do it, the rewards are often exponential.
While it's fun to create for yourself, it's hard to make a living if you're not also creating for an audience. That doesn't mean selling your soul, being a "sell out", or taking on clients just because you need cash. Instead, it means interacting with your fans and followers, hearing their feedback, and responding to your audience in a way that works for you. It means cultivating relationships with people who appreciate the work you're already doing, want to see more of it in the world, and are willing to invest in your Great Work.
My first newsletter went out to 7 people, and I know at least one of those people is still on my list, some 10 years later. We've emailed, chatted on Facebook, and she's purchased from me a time or two. When she has something to say, I listen. I don't always agree, and I am still able to respect her thoughts and ideas. Sometimes I use them, sometimes I don't. I maintain creative control of my work, and I am not so arrogant as to think that my way is the only way.
Listening and responding to your audience isn't selling out, it's an act of courage that helps your business grow. (Tweet this!)
If I've learned anything working with clients in my Incubator program, it's that different creative entrepreneurs need different kinds of support. Some need very specific, detailed, step-by-step instructions, while others can do big things with a rough overview. One of my clients launched an online school (with two courses!) in less than a day, while another took weeks to build and implement a single marketing tactic. While the kind and amount of support you need may be different from the creative entrepreneur next door, you'll still need SOME kind of systems and support. Most of us need an email system. Most of us need some kind of time management and planning tools. You might need marketing support, or customer service support from salesforce admin, or social media support. The key here is to uncover what you really need and get it handled without over-systematizing.
Believe it or not, too many systems can be a bad thing, and yes, you can try to systematize too soon. I see it all the time. Systems and supports are meant to smooth things out. Yes, they can be bumpy at first, while you're ramping up, but if your systems and supports are slowing you down unnecessarily, then you've got too many - which can cause your business to struggle in an entirely different way.
It takes about a year of concerted effort to handle each of these. A year to hone your offer, a year to build your audience, and a year to get the right balance of systems and support. Can you shorten this time frame? Sure. Linears tend to over-systematize, Chaotics tend to be more focused on their offer, and Fusions tend to obsess over their audience (take the quiz to determine your type). If you can get out of your own head, or if you've got a team or a coach to turn to with expertise in these areas, you can shorten that window to as little as a year, maybe less. That also means a lot of hustle. Not everyone is cut out for that kind of hustle, and I don't generally recommend it, because of the number it can do on your health and well-being. But most creatives don't want to hear that it's going to be another three years before they're making good money doing what they love, so if you've got the bandwidth and the intestinal fortitude, go ahead and shrink that timeline. Just be sure you can manage it without burnout, or you'll end up in a start-stop cycle of feast and famine that could drag on for years (this girl speaks from experience, yo!).
What say you? Where are you at in this 3-year plan? Have you been bumping into walls for a while? What did you do to break through? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and be part of our Rising Tide!
Ready to get some support to grow your business? Enrollment for Accountability Club is now open, and we'd love to have you inside our hallowed halls!