[Editor's note: This is Day 22 of the Be Your Own Guru series, and we're continuing the them of "how-to's" this week. I met Winnie in an online class, and we teamed up to practice elevator pitches. Then we started talking about fear, love and God. Yep. Deep stuff. Winnie's got a great take on fear and how to get past it today.]
That famous social commentator, Anonymous, is quoted as saying “Owning a business is the best self- development program around.”
How right she is.
Whether you’re an accidental entrepreneur, fulfilling a lifelong dream of being on your own, or you’ve got talents and a passion you’re driven to share with the world, at some point as you build the business you come face-to-face with emotional baggage you either didn’t know you had or were sure you had unpacked when you were 18 and still knew everything.
Starting a business isn’t hard. Any child can tell you how to start a lemonade stand: Figure out what you’re selling, come up with a price, put up a sign, and collect the money.
[Note: This is Day 17 in the Be Your Own Guru series. Today is also the re-launch of Dr. Eldon Taylor's book "I Believe: When What You Believe Matters". This post contains excerpts from his book. It's also an exploration of our brain's "efficiency trap" that keeps us mired in self-limiting beliefs.]
When I was a kid, I looked up to my grandmother.
Grandma was a looker as a young lass. She even sang in a local nightclub with her sister. The story goes that one night, when her boyfriend couldn't come to pick her up from work at the club, he sent his brother to bring her home. That "brother" went on to be my grandfather. That's their wedding picture on the left.
Even though she was "old" by kid standards, Grandma was cool and refined. She knew how to put on makeup and wear a dress (something my mom NEVER did), after a day of working in the yard, getting her hands dirty... and it always looked effortless and matter-of-fact with Grandma.
Okay, I still aspire to (more…)
[Editor's note: Today is day 13 in the Be Your Own Guru series. I met Tiffany as a contestant on Prosperity's Kitchen. Her mission spoke to me, as I hope it will you. Her commitment to helping young girls take ownership of their dreams is something we can all learn from as we strive to reconnect to our true voice and trust ourselves again.]
Think about a time in your life, around age five or so. Remember how you knew you could do anything you wanted? How you knew you could change the world?
You got excited, you were present, and you didn’t give a crap what anybody else thought.
But most of us lose it, to some extent, along the way. We let other people dictate what we’ll do with our lives. The kids that grow up and go on to rock the world are the ones that still have that passion as they grow older. They never lost sight of their awesome - or they reclaimed it in adulthood.
How do we reclaim our awesomeness? If we’ve lost it, do we even have time to get it back?
Follow these steps to be present again in your life, and embrace your awesome.
1. Allow yourself to feel pain. You’ve got to make that emotional connection, or it’s just not going to stick. Take some time for yourself one afternoon. Go someplace you really enjoy being and where you can concentrate, and bring a pen and paper with you. Start listing all the things you
wanted to do and be when you were little. List all the dreams you had. Big and small, crazy and doable. You’ll start to notice something: you’re getting a little not-so-fun gut feeling, you’re realizing the pure joy you had when you had those dreams. Determine that from this point forward, you will dream and you will help support others in their dreams. This is your little mourning period.
2. Dream those dreams and be a believer. My daughter and I believe in fairies. Sure, we’ve never actually seen them, but do you know how absolutely exciting things are when you believe in the possibility of them? Life is no longer seen through practical black and white glasses. There’s color and beauty and huge dreams and possibilities. Whatever it takes, dream. Write it down each day. Make a vision board. Keep those dreams alive and start looking at the world from that vantage point.
3. Help someone else dream. This might be your spouse, child, friend, neighbor. It doesn’t matter. When you help someone else dream, you get caught up in those happy feelings. It’s no longer about you, but how you can help that person realize their dream. When you’re in this spot, you start dreaming again yourself.
Technology, books, mentors are very useful, but to get started with anything in your life, you first need to check-in with yourself. You’ll see the untapped potential there.
I’d love to know: what were your childhood dreams? What are your big dreams now? Let me know in the comments below!
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Tiffany Manley helps girls realize that they can find all they need to sparkle and shine within themselves. She uses education appreciation, career exploration, & confidence construction to help girls realize they can dream gargantuan dreams - and that they can achieve them. Her website is a collection of resources for boosting self-confidence in young women (and their moms!), homeschooling, and more. You can also connect with Tiffany on twitter.
[Note: This is day 12 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Today's video offers you an opportunity to think about how perception works in real time, and how living your life according to your own perceptions can be both a blessing and a curse.]
We all walk through life with preconceived notions about our world.
We call them beliefs.
Often, these beliefs color every interaction we have - without us even realizing it.
If you carry a belief that strangers are dangerous, you'll behave differently than if you were raised to be cordial to strangers.
Neither belief is inherently good or bad. Neither belief guarantees a positive or negative outcome.
In the video below, you'll see a piece of paper. What color is it?
That question seems simple enough, right? I mean, you can look at it and easily see that it's pink, right?
Clearly, anyone with a fully functional ocular device can tell it's pink. Right?
Well, it all depends on what side of the paper you're standing on.
In the video, I challenge you to consider (more…)
I believe that our lives speak to us in many different ways, some more subtle than others. (more…)by Stu
[Editor's Note: This is Day Three of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Stu gives us a clear understanding of What a guru really is - and where to find yours today.]
I never thought much about "Gurus" until I was in school. I had a teacher that would tell us entertaining stories about her retired teacher. They would always end with, what I found to be, the strangest comment: "I'm on a never-ending search to find my new Guru." I would think, Hmmm... being in a school, you would be surrounded by gurus, right?"
I was right... but I found that out later, at the bottom of a rabbit hole.
Anyone on a path to wisdom, to finding the secrets of life, has come across the notion of a Guru. We inevitably hear about this Guru, that Guru, or even "my" Guru. It conjures up images of a half-in-this-world-half-not levitating apparition. But who is your Guru? ... and what exactly IS a guru?
It's insane to ask that question!
A Guru is someone who has the answers to your questions, possesses a wisdom of unfathomable proportion, one with knowledge not of this earth. Sounds fantastic! But...
Can there possibly be one person with all and total knowledge? Can one person know the right and perfect path for every other person? No matter your belief system, possessing all knowledge = not being human... or being nailed to a cross. So what do they have... these "Gurus"? (more…)
[Editor's note: This is the same post I began the last series with. It may seem like a crappy way to title the start of this series, but I want to jump in and shake your snow globe right away. Remember, I've seen the posts that are coming up, and our guests have put out some amazing ideas. I have to kick things off in an equally awesometastic way. So here goes...]
While working with a client – a six-figure leader in her company, she said “I’m nothing special.”
“That’s right.” I said. “There’s nothing any more special about you than anyone else. There’s also nothing less special about you than anyone else.”
Believe it. That’s where strength and confidence comes from. (more…)
Far too many of us walk around regurgitating what others have said, doing what others have done, that we forget about our own "you-nique-ness", as I've called it before. We want "blueprints" and insider help from a so-called "guru". We want the answers when we don't even always know the questions yet.
Yet, we see and understand truths we don't always articulate. We hear the voices in the heads of those around us not yet courageous enough to say what they're thinking. Sometimes we're one of them, and sometimes we speak up, step out, and shine a little - even if only for a moment.
One woman I know said it was like a big target was on her back. To her, being visible meant people were poised to attack her the minute she began to shine.
I hope I'm not the only one here who relates to that idea.
(more…)This is the first part of an hour-long interview with Author and Martha Beck-trained life coach, Sarah Robinson (here's part two). Her book, "Fierce Loyalty: Unlocking the DNA of Wildly Successful Communities" is available in paperback or Kindle format on amazon. You can read my thoughts on her book in this previous post.
In this episode, Sarah and I discuss the evolution of her business, from professionally trained actress to mom, to life coach, to business strategist and author. We talk about what Jonathan Fields calls "The Thrash": the seemingly constant evolution-branding-and-re-branding cycle that happens as we draw nearer and nearer to our Essential Why and sharing our True Voice with the world.
"Why do you blog so much?'
It was a valid question. And I tried to be open to where the truth laid within me.
Silence.
Not because I was unwilling to answer, but because the tears started choking me.
I mungled my way through some explanation about how it's an outlet for me to talk to people in the hopes that what I'm sharing will actually help someone.
Because that's where all my hope lies: that the crap I endure from day to day (and the good stuff, too), will somehow help someone else have a better time of it while they're on this rock we call Earth.
My coach and I have a deal: I am ruthlessly honest, and try not to go against everything she says (since I'm an 8 according to the Enneagram), and she plays it straight and "spicy" with me - never letting me off the hook for something. She helps me see my world through different eyes (a good coach is NOT a 'yes man'!).
Most of the time I love her, but in this very bare moment, I'm feeling cornered, and really want to hate her for a minute.
I guess it's a good thing she's also my friend.
"Well, maybe it's not serving you to do a blog series."
My "yeahbuts" start emerging, and we have a nice deep discussion about profitability, giving too much away, and finding the patterns in my offerings.
It was probably one of the most difficult (and necessary) conversations in recent memory, complete with stamping my feet and an "I don't wanna" at least once (okay, maybe twice) during the call. Especially since the thing I didn't tell her was that this series felt truly divinely inspired as a way to open up to my more spiritual self... that piece of my True Self that has been lurking and shimmering in the background for so many years.
All at once, I felt like it was an affront to a very spiritual decision I had made, to create a very public, very spiritual thing (at least for me at this stage in my journey), that I felt called to do in a matter of service, to you.
Who ever "you" may be. And that was precisely the point my coach was making (and I needed to hear it).
My business, as of late, has been a hodge podge of all-0ver-the-map stuff. Quite frankly, that's the way my life's been, too, for so many years, that I'm not sure I know another way of being.
"What is it that you do, Lisa? What is the theme?" she prods.
At this point, I really just want her to tell me because I'm tired. Funny how that works.
I got pouty and stamped my feet (okay, that's not the beautiful part). And in exasperation, it poured out of me:
"I'm so sick and tired of hearing the excuses! From clients, from would-be clients, from people who've never even tried. People are so much more capable than they believe, but their excuses get in the way. Why can't they just see that?"
Or something like that. Seriously, I felt like I was channeling that answer from either some place way beyond me, or some place deep within me - which is probably the same place if you examine it truthfully.
In order to get to the truly delicious stuff, I had to be willing to do the hard work of listening to what I didn't want to hear.
You've sometimes got to do the thing you don't like, because it's good for you. I've done this before, so I'm no stranger to it. I'm starting to think it's part of the truth of life.
"Before the truth 'sets you free,' it tends to make you miserable." - Richard Rohr
After conversing with my coach, I had the the angel/devil discussion going on in my head. One telling me to bag the series, the other telling me to tell her to get bent and do the series anyway.
Neither happened.
One thing I'm continuing to learn on my impatient journey is the power and value of being willing to wait - which is still incredibly painful and difficult for my forward-motion-craving self.
So I sat in the space between those two options for a day.
The series did go on, and I did not tell my coach to get bent.
Because I needed to hear that perspective. I needed to be willing to let those words fall into my brain and swim around. I needed to be willing to check back in with myself and face the possibility of cranking out a useless blog series, and ask myself if I was still willing to do it anyway.
And yes, dear reader, this series was one of those things I couldn't NOT do.
Because in my conversation with my coach, for the first time in my adult life, I fell into complete resonance with what I feel like I'm supposed to be about in the world (more on that in a future post), and got even more clarity about the doing of it.
For someone like me, that's a big deal.
Which brings me to today's prompt for your consideration:
I mean really willing. Like, "I don't care if it hurts, or is hard, at least I'll be feeling something real for a change." THAT kind of willing. We don't always enjoy parts of the journey. Heroes face very challenging opponents, get banged around a bit, and I've never once seen that happen and have the hero say "Hot Damn! That was fun! Let's do it again!"
No, being willing to throw yourself into the fray is tough stuff, my friend.
But it is where you meet your True Self. It is where you learn what you're really made of. It's where the milquetoasty among us lose out and stay with their pablum, never knowing their true capabilities.
It's not always rocky, but I can pretty much guarantee there will be some rough spots along the ride. So the first question you must ask yourself is "Am I willing?"
Are you willing to struggle for a purpose - rather than needlessly?
Are you willing to stand in the raging waters and feel them rush about you - maybe even push you around a little until you get your bearings?
Are you willing to hear what you don't want to hear because it's good for you and will help you more than any "yes man" ever could?
If so, you just might meet yourself along the way.
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If you're ready to dig into the heart of what really motivates you, eliminate self-sabotage, and live an inspired life, consider enrolling in an upcoming "Essential Why Workshop" and build your own Noble Empire.