Lisa Robbin Young

"Let me be a lesson to you of what NOT to do."

When you're a celebrity on par with Jonah Hill, that's probably not the ideal phrase to be uttering to your fans.  In this case, though, Jonah's sincere apology on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon after being caught on camera making a grossly inappropriate comment has done a lot to mend fences.

[I'll also go on the record as being ignorant, because I didn't realize the comment he made was now considered "a homophobic slur". I grew up hearing that phrase from men and women alike in my neighborhood. Not that it was a pleasant thing to hear, I was just a little surprised that it was a nuanced term.]

What got Jonah so upset?

From the paparazzi video, it's hard to know exactly what was said, but Jonah indicated he and his family were being verbally attacked on a personal level by the photographer and "was genuinely hurt by this... and in response wanted to hurt him back".

To borrow a line from The Dixie Chicks: "There's your trouble!"

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(Author's note: this post originally appeared in 2011 on one of my old blogs. I've freshened it up a bit for you today.)

One of the things that really annoys me are those folks that say they want change, but don't take action when answers are provided.

It dawned on me why they don't budge.

The File Clerk In Your Head

Picture a huge file room in your brain. There's a file clerk in there, taking in "evidence" for the various files in the "cabinets."

The file clerk never takes a break. He's contstantly filing away bits of information in the various files.

Let's say, in one cabinet, you have two files, one marked "I can't sing", the other marked "I'm a good singer."

Then let's say you're invited to sing in a local Karaoke contest.

Quickly, you run to the file clerk and say "pull out the files to help me decide what to do!"

The file clerk, never missing a beat, pulls out two files. One is significantly larger than the other. The one that says "I can't sing" weighs 100 pounds, while the other has only a few slips of paper inside.

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He was laying in that hospital bed for several days. Stubborn, cantankerous.

He'd had difficulty breathing when they admitted him, but this eighty year-old man was a fighter, and while he hadn't been eating well for the past few weeks, his strength was contagious. His children, gathered in the room, listened to him tell off the nurses, the doctors, and just about everyone that entered the room.

He talked about how he wasn't done living yet. He just bought a new house. He just celebrated his 80th birthday. He had a grandson he wanted to watch grow up. He was a vigorous "old dude" that didn't give up easily.

His vitals looked good, and no one knew what was causing the trouble. All signs pointed to stress, maybe from making that move, or not getting enough rest.

After a couple of days in the hospital, test results came back.

"You've got a tumor the size of a baseball on your lung. It's causing pressure on your stomach when you eat too much, which, is presumably why you're not eating." the doctor said.

"Cancer?" said the old man. "Well, I guess that's it."

Less than a day later, he was dead. (more…)

It was a business trip. 8 days in sunny Vegas, while my family was snowbound, just HAD to have some kind of a story, right?

SPOILER: this one begins with guilt, shame, and resentment, and ends up with me feeling like a princess, and six lessons you can use in the pursuit of your dreams.

Let me break it down for ya...

All work and no play in Las Vegas?

It began as most business trips do: with lots to do and not much time to get it all done. Between flights, a showroom rearrange before the annual January Gift Market, and training for the sales reps - not to mention the Gift Show itself, I really didn't expect to have any time to "enjoy" Vegas. I was, after all, there for work. An earlier version of myself would have holed up in my hotel room during all off hours and either slept (to make up for the time zone shift) or worked (because, well, I'm an overachiever like that).

Not this time. (more…)

It can be a real challenge to find even a little piece of quiet during the day. But quiet stillness is a daily must-have if you want to stay sane and allow for the blessings that come from intuitive/divine guidance.

This week's Convo features Joanna Weston, a certified Martha Beck trained life coach. We talk about finding stillness, what coaching is (and what it isn't), as well as how she's helping her clients create space for the sacred.

Visit Joanna and learn more about her "Creating Space For The Sacred" program.

 

Shocking, but true: back in 1994, an unknown, unsigned artist had a number one hit. Lisa Loeb's "Stay (I Missed You)" became the spring board for an enduring career for the bespectacled artist - one that took a more traditional turn when she signed with Geffen Records.

Back then, it was almost unthinkable for a musical artist to go the independent route. In fact, had Loeb not lived across the street from Ethan Hawke, it's possible her song would never have made it into "Reality Bites" (and on to make history). "The industry" pretty much controlled airplay, exposure, income and identity for anyone that wanted to be a successful, profitable musical act. So it made good sense back then to get signed as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, that could also mean a lot of "compromise" - from your sound, to your look, and all points in between. IF you wanted to be "successful" you had to be willing to relinquish your identity as an artist (just ask (more…)

[Note: This isn't a topic I get to blog about much, because, well, my skin color is usually irrelevant to the work I'm doing in the world (funny how that works, huh?). I've been very fortunate that the bulk of the racist remarks I've dealt with in my life stemmed from ignorant classmates during my school days. There was that one dumb co-worker, but I'll just chalk that up to his old age and inability to grasp multi-ethnicity. Fortunately, he's part of a dying breed, and a relic of a by-gone era, that hopefully never returns.]

Growing up as a multi-racial kid in a blended family wasn't easy.

I was called all kinds of names every day on the school bus. My favorite?

Zebra. The black kids thought I was "too white to be black" and the white kids thought "I was too black to be white". It was the one term they could all agree on.

As a "Zebra" I was delightfully different (okay, it wasn't so delightful then, but I digress). Able to embrace both my white-ness and my black-ness - regardless of how derogatory the term was meant to be. It was certainly better than "honkey" or that "n" word that still floats around in certain circles.

So imagine my delight (and my surprise) when I found this (more…)

The Convo returns! This week's video is a segment from Module One of my Spotlight Sessions program. The program launched today, and it felt like this segment was important to share with you.

Where are you at in your 5 Key Areas? What could you be doing differently?

Last year, I was introduced to a concept that I've continued to grapple with from time to time. The picture below is taken from page 61 of Dr. Maria Nemeth's book "The Energy of Money". It's an illustration that one of her teachers once shared with her:

whoweareWhen my coach first introduced it to me, it made perfect sense. I spent little time trying to understand it, and a TON of time trying to figure out where I was on that path.

I recognized I spent a lot of time pretending, a little time being afraid, and almost NO time embracing who I really am.

Sadly, my own experience as a coach tells me I'm not the only person living this way.

There's an internal fight for survival that undermines our confidence in truest self

These three identities: The Pretender, The Coward, and True Self show up at various moments (more…)

by Erin Margolin

[Editor's note: This is day 23 of the Be Your Own Guru series. Ever had a controversial project that you just KNEW would be amazing if you could get it in front of the right people? If you have ever wanted to rally a throng of people around your dream, if you've ever considered using crowdfunding to raise money for a project, here's a real-life example of someone who did it. I met Erin at a conference a couple of years ago, and never dreamed that she would one day be spearheading a campaign to support children with gay parents. The Gay Dad Project is a documentary that Erin and several of her colleagues are working on - and they raised more than $20,000 in support of that project. But it wasn't without it's hassles - and many lessons learned. I asked Erin if she would share some of those lessons, along with some encouragement for those of you that have a dream in your heart that may not be easy to bring into the world.]

Referenced in the video:

Learn more about The Gay Dad Project

The Gay Dad Project on IndieGoGo

ErinMargolinERIN MARGOLIN is a New Orleans native, writer, mama of three girls, and co-founder of The Gay Dad ProjectAfter years of always saying yes she’s learned to say no sometimes, because she’s found that "yes" is best reserved for what matters most: her blog, the LTYM Show in Kansas City, and making a documentary about growing up with a gay dad a reality. She also loves books, antique typewriters, Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay, social media, yoga pants and playing Memory with her twins, who always, always win. You can connect with Erin on Twitter and Facebook, as well as on her personal blog.