Now that the new year and my birthday are both behind me, it's time to get back into the swing of things. This weekend, I'm auditioning for The Voice (third time's a charm, right?), and we're still rolling full steam ahead on new episodes for Creative Freedom Season Three. If you've got a question you'd like to see me tackle on the show, reach out and let me know.
One of the questions I get asked all the time (at least once a week) is "how do you manage to do so much?"
While it's true I get things done, "a lot" is relative. It's been mostly just me behind the curtain, "hustling" for years (and I've paid the price for that), so I've had to learn how to create a maximum impact with minimal effort. Despite accomplishing much, there are still dozens of things each week that don't happen for me. It can be debilitating to think about what you don't accomplish, but you'll get more mileage out of every day (and do less in the process) if you keep these tips in mind:
This is just a "highlight reel" of what I cover in much more detail in Dreamblazing (which now includes The PEACE System!). It'll get you off to a strong start and help you keep the ball rolling through the year as you move a head on your deepest dreams and desires. Ultimately it comes down to focus and discipline, but that looks different for each of the creative types. When you implement these steps, you'll find more clarity and ease in each day.
I've managed to right-size my to-do list over the years (with tons of practice), and bluntly, saying "no" has been the critical piece to the puzzle.
"Nope. Not gonna do the dishes today."
"Well, I didn't want to take a shower anyway."
"No, I'm not going to sleep until it's done."
If you're on the "hustle and grind" track, you probably know the sound of that kind of "no" very clearly. But there's another side:
"While I'd love to have lunch (so you can pick my brain), I already have a full calendar (a play date with my kid)."
"Sorry. Investing in your five-figure training sounds awesome, but it's not in the budget right now, and no, I'm not going into debt for you."
"No way, Jose! I'm not taking on another job for 'exposure' until my cash flow improves."
"I can't today. This is my day off."
It's another case of ruthless honesty. When you get clear on what really matters to you - in life and work - you have a filter that helps you say yes to more of the right things and no to other opportunities that pop up on your radar that sound sexy, but will distract you from your real goals. But beware, each creative entrepreneur type needs to say no to different things.
Linears need more white space, time off, and personal focus. Very often, they neglect themselves in a drive to reach a result. Not cool. Chaotics, on the other hand, need more stability and (believe it or not) predictability in their schedule - in a way that works for them. Shiny object syndrome can derail their plans quickly (if they even made a plan in the first place), and it's easy for their "go with the flow" behavior to keep them putting out fires instead of looking to the long term. Fusions can get bored even if they're making solid progress. Repetition and routine are important, but can get tedious, so it's important to have space for celebration, time off, and exploring new ideas (while staying on budget).
Creating a list of priorities at the start of the year helps you know what you're driving toward. I teach my clients to set one annual goal in each of the 5 Key Areas of Success, plus a second fitness goal for mental health. Then, they rank each goal in order of importance.
Before you start scheduling plans for the year, you'll already know which goal is the most important. That way, when goals start competing for your time and attention (and they always do at some point), you'll already know which one gets priority. You can take emotions out of the equation and stay focused on the real priority in your life and work. It's easier to say no when stuff pops up that may be fun but isn't in alignment with your top priorities.
Once you've got your priorities worked out for the year, you can break them down into quarterly milestones. What action steps and sub-goals need to be achieved in order to keep you on track to achieve your yearly goal? Some may be ongoing or will require more time to complete than others.
Be clear on your expectations. If your goal is to make a million dollars, you can't assume you'll make $250,000 each quarter. Chances are good you'll make the bulk of that money in the last half or quarter of the year, because of all the other things that have to be in place first.
Same with weight loss. If you've struggled to lose weight for years, it's absurd to expect you'll miraculously start losing 10 pounds every month so that you can be down 100 pounds by the end of the year. The first quarter of the year will likely focus on building habits - and there'll be a lot of falling off the wagon you'll have to deal with. But as the new habits start to stick, you'll start to see faster progress and the avalanche of results - which again, will likely happen in the latter half of the year.
In my opinion, this is a big reason why so many people ditch their resolutions. Aside from not writing down their goals at all, that is. They plan their goal all neat and orderly, assuming they'll stay motivated and make steady progress toward their goal.
That's not how goal attainment works for most of us. Despite the best attempts of most Linears, success is rarely a steady, incremental thing. There's a lot of plot twists, leaps forward, steps back, re-tracing of steps, and then we get forward momentum once we figure shit out.
You'll want to review your goals and priorities quarterly because even the best laid plans can go off track when "life happens." Moving to Nashville was not my top priority at the beginning of 2016. By Summer, however, my priorities shifted when we filed the divorce papers. Nashville then became a top priority for me, so my other goals had to shift.
New episodes of Creative Freedom didn't get done because I had to pack up all my studio gear. The podcast was delayed, but the items that were most important still got checked off my list. Sometimes you have to rearrange your priorities to accommodate your top priority. It happens more often than you might think.
This was something I learned as a direct sales leader that I've used in my own organizations and with all my clients ever since. If you make time for it on the calendar, it has a greater chance of getting done than if you try to squeeze it in between meetings or when you have some "free time" - ha! What's that?
In short, every little thing that's got to be done to achieve your goal needs to be on the calendar. If you're delegating it, then you need to add a follow-up date in your calendar. Chaotics will reel against all this minutiae, but I'm here to tell you that until it becomes first nature, you'll want to create the habit of scheduling everything.
Whatever you use to track your to-do's is fine, just make sure the long-range stuff gets on the calendar. If you're writing a book and you leave it open-ended, that project will keep getting pushed down the to-do list in favor of other more pressing needs (putting out fires). If you want that book done, carve out specific time blocks in your calendar to work on it - and give yourself a small deadline (like completing the first chapter by the end of February). This will create the optimal amount of pressure to help you double your results in less time. Too much pressure, and you'll crack (especially if you're a Chaotic), but just enough of a deadline often primes the pump to get moving. You might even find that you want to finish it sooner because it's taking up so much time on your calendar. Without that visual, getting that chapter done might drag on for months.
Not sure how much time you need to complete the project? Work backwards. This takes longer, but it's worth the clarity it provides. For unwieldy projects, I use mind mapping to get clear on all the elements of the project, and then get as detailed as I can on each step toward the goal. Only then can I see which step needs to come first, second, third, etc. Once I know the first step, I put it on the calendar. If it's a task, I put it on the to-do list as well, but it's important to block out time for accomplishing your to-do's or they simply won't get done. It's one of the reasons I still put "shower," "lunch," and "laundry" on my calendar. If I don't, I'll fill that time with something else and those things won't get done.
I've been writing about this for a few years now, but the research shows that SMART goals are broken. But D.U.M.B. goals are a different story. When you are taking action on things that are doable, understandable, meaningful and believable, it's much easier to stay the course. I've seen it bear out time and again in my own life as well as with my clients.
It's easier to focus on what really matters when what really matters to you is your focus. It sounds like a paradox, but it's not. When you focus on what matters to you, you naturally stay more focused. It's what I call the "video game effect". My boys all love video games and when they start playing, the world around them falls away. World War Three could be going on outside, and they'd never know because they are engrossed in their game. They're focused like a laser on what matters to them. And God forbid you try to interrupt them - if you can interrupt them at all.
For most of us it's not a question of focus, it's a question of what we're focused on. When you can invest more of your time, energy, and resources into what really matters for you, it's naturally easier to stay focused. Plan your year around what really matters to you and you'll have a natural advantage when it comes to achieving those goals.
Join us in Dreamblazing. It's more than a planner. It helps you define your goals, get them in priority order, and lay out a path to achievement. If you want to be more confident, have more clarity, and be focused this year on what really matters, give yourself the gift of Dreamblazing.
"Dreams without goals are just dreams that ultimately fuel disappointment." - Denzel Washington
You know what SMART goals are, right? It's a helpful little acronym that breaks your goals into something that's:
So many people use SMART goals - and for a lot of people that works. But not me. Not for a lot of big dreamers I know. It's too hard to wrap a big dream into the SMART package.
Sometimes, it's a challenge to get clear on the specifics of a goal. Take, for example, my desire to win a Grammy. It's a real dream of mine. But right now, my music doesn't easily fall into a category. It's not really pop music. It's not blues or jazz per se - although if the category still exists in a few years, it could be construed as contemporary pop. And someone recently reminded me that I'm also a speaker, so it's possible that my Grammy might come in the spoken word category - or even the comedy category, since I can be a bit humorous from time to time.
So while I have the desire to win a Grammy, it's not easy to get more specific than that.
Sometimes, big dreams are difficult to measure. In the case of a Grammy, it's not so hard: when I have it, I have it. Until then, I don't. But in the case of wanting to leave a positive impact in the world (or a dent in the universe as Steve Jobs put it). Setting a goal to sell a hundred, a thousand, or even a million copies of my book is measurable and specific, but will that really change lives? I won't know until someone reaches out and tells me that my book made a difference to them.
Then there's that whole "is this really attainable?" thing. Who really knows what's attainable? Some of our greatest inventions came by accident and curiosity. Sir Richard Branson cracked an April Fool's joke about a product that would one day become reality. Now, millions of people own MP3 players of some sort. Nobody believed it was attainable. Now, it's commonplace.
I think of Columbus and the debate over whether the world was flat or round. Sometimes, you don't know if it's attainable until you try. Sometimes you fail, but the attainability of a goal, in my mind, shouldn't be a qualifier on whether or not you give it a try. There are lots of failed attempts that ultimately led to success. Light bulbs, anyone? The original inventor couldn't figure out how to get his filament to burn more than a few seconds. FAILURE!
But Edison and his crew stepped in and worked over and over and over until they found a way to make it work. Voila! Electric light - and ultimately electricity in every home gives me the ability to send this message to you anywhere in the world.
Which ties into the whole realistic thing. Who really thought it was realistic 100 years ago to have little video screens in every home? You can watch moving pictures from the comfort of your living room couch! Back in 1914, We were embroiled in survival struggles. Wars. That kind of thing. It wasn't until 1926 that the first broadcast of moving pictures even happened - and they were crappy compared to today's standards. Heck, we were still watching silent movies until 1927! It wasn't until 1939 that the first experimental broadcast network was set up in the US - and color TV didn't come on the scene until the 50's - but most homes didn't see it until the 60's.
So until about 50 years ago, it was pretty unrealistic to think that you'd be able to watch "talkies" in your living room... with a push of a button.. or downloaded off this thing called the Internet.
So much for "realistic" eh?
Who really knows how long it will take for a big dream to materialize? It took Christopher Plummer most of his life to win an Oscar. The Oscar is one of the highest honors an actor can receive. While I'm sure he wasn't acting for the sake of earning an Oscar (a sure-fire way to NOT win one, I'm told), the look on his face when he held that statuette and said "Where have you been all my life?" only illustrated further that a time-bound goal can be a little limiting. So what if it takes your whole life to achieve a goal? I guess, in that respect, it is time-bound. But would you turn it away, too little too late, if you didn't achieve it until after you died? Remember some of our greatest artists didn't know success in their lifetime, yet their legacy impacts the lives of countless people hundreds of years after their death.
Does "eternity" count as time-bound? 🙂
So when it comes to big dreams, SMART goals leave me cold. There are those that would say that you could still use SMART goals on the smaller sub-set of steps you need to take in order to achieve those big goals, and I agree. It also makes it a lot easier to lose sight of the goal itself and get lost in the minutiae of the every day steps that may or may not ultimately lead you to your goal.
Take the Grammy for example. There are some things I need to do: join the Academy, for example. Those are more tasks then goals, though. I need to have a project -an album, a song, a something that could be submitted for consideration by the Academy. But what? An album of songs? A single song? Design a package for a project (they give Grammys for design, too). Or maybe a video? Hmmm... see how easy it is to get lost in the minutiae?
Lately, I've been working on "DUMB" goals - even a few of my clients and colleagues admit that the DUMB approach is actually very helpful.
Here's how it works. DUMB goals are:
D - Doable
U - Understandable
M - Meaningful
B - Believable
Is this something that, with the existing resources and technologies available or known to you, can be done? Television was an extension of ideas that had been developed back in the 1800's. So it was most likely do-able, they just needed access to the resources. Radio waves were already transmitting across the country, so broadcast technology existed, they just needed to figure out how to tweak those waves to send images as well as sound.
Everything they needed was available, just not all in one place. It required some testing, experimenting and putting those pieces together - like a jigsaw puzzle, trying to make the pieces fit together.
So while it seemed unrealistic, it was, in fact, very doable.
"1000 songs in your pocket." Nothing could have been easier to understand when Steve Jobs uttered those words about a device that no one had believed was even possible. Funny enough, MP3 players existed before the Ipod. They were clunky, unsexy, and relegated to the realm of nerds and technophiles. MP3s had been around for quite a while, so it really wasn't a stretch to create a disc drive that would hold them and play them. The technology existed, so it was doable, but how to you explain what these little boxes do in a way that gets you move a million units?
1000 songs in your pocket is a very understandable goal.
There are a lot of folks that think I'm nuts, wanting to go for a Grammy. But it is meaningful to me. There's an aura of prestige around those little gramophone statuettes (Prestige is one of my triggers), it's also a symbol of recognition and acceptance from a field of my peers. Those things are meaningful to me. Maybe not to you, but because they are to me, I'm willing to do the work to achieve the goal.
If you set goals that aren't meaningful to you, why are you setting them at all? (Click to tweet)
To those that say I'm deluding myself into thinking I can win a Grammy, I say you don't have to believe it's possible. Only I do.
Owning dreams that are believable is one of the biggest mistakes I see people make. "I want to make a million dollars" someone will say to me, but when I take them through the threshold of belief exercise, they don't even believe it's possible for them to do so.
So many people believed the world was flat. They fought about it. But someone believed - and a few were willing enough to believe that they loaned some boats and supplies so this Columbus kid could go cavorting to the "edge of the world". Worst case scenario, they wouldn't get the boats back and there'd be one less weirdo on the planet.
Turns out that willingness is a big piece to allowing space for believability. If you're not sure you can believe in the possibility of your dream, are you at least willing to try to believe it? Are you willing to hold space that someone else might believe in it (and you)? Because I believe in you. If you're reading this right now, I'm cheering for you. I know you've got something special, and if you want it to happen, I want it for you.
So that's how I handle goal setting now. Forget SMART goals, I'm all about DUMB goals. Goals that are do-able, understandable, meaningful and believable to me. Forget what the rest of the world thinks! DUMB goals are a great idea.
There are those that would say it's a negative approach, but I've found it actually plays into a sort of "reverse psychology" - when people criticize your goals, call them dumb or whatever, you can say "Yep. They're DUMB alright. And I'm going to GO for it!"
My clients get it, and since it doesn't force them to reprogram their thoughts, it becomes a more effortless way to own your dreams.
So what say you? This is the first time I've really been transparent about my goal setting process. You may already be familiar with how I prioritize things (using The PEACE System), but this is the first time I've ever shared publicly my DUMB goal setting technique. I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas about it.
For some of us, there comes a time in life when it feels like everyone has given up on you.
You might even feel like giving up on yourself.
Don't.
As I write this, I've just returned from spending the day in the hospital with my oldest son. Suffice it to say he's on the brink of giving up on himself. He waffles, as I suspect many teenagers do, between thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and seriously wondering why anyone "wastes" their time with him.
If you've followed me for any length of time, you know the trials (more…)
This was one of the hardest things I had to write. I didn't want to tell you to "be authentic," or to "become a rock star" nor come back with the witty "you're not special" missive.
Because I do believe that we can be authentic, become a rock star and be utterly special if we use our T.A.G.S. effectively.
Your talents, abilities, gifts and skills (otherwise known as T.A.G.S.) are your edge. It's that thing that makes you unique. Because you were fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image, you are indeed special.
The key to increasing your income isn't to invest in yet another "blueprint" or to uncover the hidden "secret." These will work only if you share the T.A.G.S. of the guru who's selling that program.
Instead, to find your money sweet spot, you need to uncover your strengths and stop focusing on your weaknesses. The easiest way to do this is to add your T.A.G.S. to your idea or business, as that will trigger a flow of income.
Yup, you heard me. Look back 10 or 20 years and you'll find a talent, ability, gift or skill that has laid forgotten and dormant.
Mine is music. I recently started playing the organ for a congregation. The last time I did so, I was still in university working towards a degree. That was 15-years ago.
To prepare for my debut on the organ, I went digging into a box in my basement for old song books.
What I discovered were pages and pages of unfinished compositions that I started writing in the mid-1990s. My side project is finishing those compositions and getting the choir at my church to sing them.
I now incorporate music and music training into my teachings. I help my clients find their voice when talking about money and there's no better way to teach this than through a song or by using voice exercises. This is what makes my teachings different from other money coaches out there. (more…)
[Editor's note: Today is day 13 in the Be Your Own Guru series. I met Tiffany as a contestant on Prosperity's Kitchen. Her mission spoke to me, as I hope it will you. Her commitment to helping young girls take ownership of their dreams is something we can all learn from as we strive to reconnect to our true voice and trust ourselves again.]
Think about a time in your life, around age five or so. Remember how you knew you could do anything you wanted? How you knew you could change the world?
You got excited, you were present, and you didn’t give a crap what anybody else thought.
But most of us lose it, to some extent, along the way. We let other people dictate what we’ll do with our lives. The kids that grow up and go on to rock the world are the ones that still have that passion as they grow older. They never lost sight of their awesome - or they reclaimed it in adulthood.
How do we reclaim our awesomeness? If we’ve lost it, do we even have time to get it back?
Follow these steps to be present again in your life, and embrace your awesome.
1. Allow yourself to feel pain. You’ve got to make that emotional connection, or it’s just not going to stick. Take some time for yourself one afternoon. Go someplace you really enjoy being and where you can concentrate, and bring a pen and paper with you. Start listing all the things you
wanted to do and be when you were little. List all the dreams you had. Big and small, crazy and doable. You’ll start to notice something: you’re getting a little not-so-fun gut feeling, you’re realizing the pure joy you had when you had those dreams. Determine that from this point forward, you will dream and you will help support others in their dreams. This is your little mourning period.
2. Dream those dreams and be a believer. My daughter and I believe in fairies. Sure, we’ve never actually seen them, but do you know how absolutely exciting things are when you believe in the possibility of them? Life is no longer seen through practical black and white glasses. There’s color and beauty and huge dreams and possibilities. Whatever it takes, dream. Write it down each day. Make a vision board. Keep those dreams alive and start looking at the world from that vantage point.
3. Help someone else dream. This might be your spouse, child, friend, neighbor. It doesn’t matter. When you help someone else dream, you get caught up in those happy feelings. It’s no longer about you, but how you can help that person realize their dream. When you’re in this spot, you start dreaming again yourself.
Technology, books, mentors are very useful, but to get started with anything in your life, you first need to check-in with yourself. You’ll see the untapped potential there.
I’d love to know: what were your childhood dreams? What are your big dreams now? Let me know in the comments below!
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Tiffany Manley helps girls realize that they can find all they need to sparkle and shine within themselves. She uses education appreciation, career exploration, & confidence construction to help girls realize they can dream gargantuan dreams - and that they can achieve them. Her website is a collection of resources for boosting self-confidence in young women (and their moms!), homeschooling, and more. You can also connect with Tiffany on twitter.
by Joy Holland
[Editor's note: This is day 9 in the Be Your Own Guru series. Joy's post is a timely reminder that once we have answers from our life, we need to act on them - by fully living our best life.]
I like to write in reflection, using my personal example as something you can tap into if you wish, instead of a “lecture” format. I believe there are myriad ways to move, and I love learning from the variance in those ways. This is simply one way for you to consider.
“Be Your Own Guru” implies a depth of wisdom, knowledge, and life experience. Simply reading this sentence feels restrictive, constrained. For how do I know I am acquiring “enough” or the “right” knowledge and experience? Is wisdom based upon the amount of years I have lived or what I have lived in those years? How shall I earn the trust of myself to be my guru? All of this feels very external, and out of my control—I am striving, reaching, vesting energy to, something outside of myself.
When I go beyond what I know to what I feel, I (more…)
I believe that our lives speak to us in many different ways, some more subtle than others. (more…)by Kadena Tate
[Editor's Note: On day two of the Be Your Own Guru Series, Kadena Tate helps us get clarity on embracing our own definition of success - even when others think it might be a little crazy.]
Crazy! Everyone offers a different brand of crazy. The question is “How can you unleash your brand of crazy in a manner that touches hearts and expands minds?” In my experience, it is easy once you embrace three beliefs as the foundation of your life and work. The three beliefs are actually quotes and that have blessed my life and my brand:
First up is a quote by the late martial artist Bruce Lee “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”
Second is a quote by the poet Ms. Maya Angelou “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Third is a quote by an unknown author. It reads “When you believe in your dreams, they may come true, but when you believe in yourself, they will come true”.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee
When you finish reading this article, you will have learned that you must be your own guru. It will be extremely difficult to achieve any level of success if you crave the advice and opinions of others. It is essential that you look within and see only worth, value and goodness. Looking in the mirror and saying things to yourself like “I’ll never be, do or have enough”, is a sure-fire recipe for failure. It will be nearly impossible to assemble your gifts, talents, strengths, abilities and the lessons learned from your life experiences into marketable and monetizable products and services if you are running here and there asking everyone “What do you think?” (more…)
Next week, my children are home for Spring break. #CalgonTakeMeAway
Actually, they get a jump start on spring break this Friday, and my soon-to-be 7 year old will have a half day on Thursday.
Is this any way for me to get my work done?
We have yet to have a single week since 2013 began where both children were in school for the entire week. Between snow days, sick days, and school suspensions (*facepalm*), either one or both of them have been home at least one day every week since the beginning of the year.
Can you say FRUSTRATING?
I sure can.
So many ideas, so little time... (more…)When I'm working with my clients, often times they'll speak about something that "always happens" to them. Something that seems to come out of the blue, and yet, when we drill down, we discover that it's usually rooted in a lack of awareness about the cause of that "something".
In The PEACE System, I illustrate how many "emergencies" are a result of neglecting a must-do activity for too long. Like when failing to perform the routine preventative maintenance on your car often leads to a flat tire or another car "emergency". Or when neglecting to take care of your health leads to a stay in the hospital.
My clients are smart cookies. They've got a lot goin' on upstairs... they've also usually got a few too many things going on in other areas of their life and/or biz. Thus, the lack of awareness around work and life balance issues.
So today, I'm giving you, dear reader, a piece of advice that isn't really mine to give. I've seen it in various forms from different voices both online and off. This is just the version I share with my clients.