As I hear clients, colleagues, and friends sharing their goals for 2015, there's a chorus being repeated over and over:
"This year is the year I FINALLY break __ figures!"
I've heard it so many times that it makes me dizzy and sad to think about the number of folks who continue to miss the mark on this particular goal each year. When I ask why they haven't hit their goal yet, I hear lots of "reasons" - but ultimately, those reasons all mask the truth of why they really haven't hit their big income goal - whatever it is.
First a warning: "Big income goal" is relative. Like dream shame, the fact that you have a goal means it's big. For you, it might be 10 figures, or 6, or 5, or being able to finally quit the day job. The number doesn't matter. The principles are the same regardless of the number of zeroes at the end of the figure.
Why is it that most entrepreneurs that dream of making "mucho dinero" don't hit their big income goal? Here are a few reasons I've encountered (both on my own journey, as well as with my clients): (more…)
"Brave" was the theme for 2012 and in 2013, I chose to "Inspire".
This year was about "Divine Alignment" - and there was a lot of re-alignment happening.
Every year for half a decade now, I've intentionally chosen a "theme" and a "theme song" to set the tone for my year - both personally and professionally. As a personality-based brand, it's important to choose something that reflects both pieces of the puzzle. So much of what I do overlaps, connects, and is even interwoven throughout my life and work. It makes sense, then, to craft something that has meaning in both arenas.
Here's a summary look at my 5 Key Areas for 2014:
For me, faith is where my core beliefs and values intersect. The values in focus this year were freedom, space, contribution, creation, and joy. That meant doing more of what I love and reaching more of my right people. Trips to Atlanta, Minnesota, New York, Vegas, and Arizona had me re-connecting with bunches of people that mean the world to me - and connecting with a few new friends as well. Talk about JOY! And I've got a car again, so there's some more space and freedom opening up for me. I did a LOT of connecting this year, including more work with Des (and the incomparable Damn Whippersnappers) - and TWO online shows.
I was also pleased to be able to work with my friend and coach Teresa Romain in her year-long program. The folks in that group are always so inspiring, and I'm lucky to now count many of them as friends. My Faith cup runneth over this year, to be sure.
"It's my life. It's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever." - It's My Life
My oldest not only managed to turn 18 this year, but fell in love and moved out. As a mom, there's still a bunch of emotional baggage I carry about that, but as a coach, I recognize that I can't live his life for him, and he's a much happier, better adjusted, more responsible guy now. So in that respect, Mom's happy. He's actually working to get his GED so that he'll graduate ahead of the other kids in his class. Go figure! After years of struggle, it's so nice to see him happy, healthy-ish, and living a life he's proud of.
The rest of the family is drawing closer. Hubby and I are staring down the barrel of our 10th anniversary this year, and we've managed to carve out a bit more time for one another. Our current pastime is "Netflix at Night" - where we carve out an hour or two to cuddle on the couch and watch a series from beginning to end. This year we checked off "Burn Notice" and we're swapping through "Psych", "Criminal Minds", and "Royal Pains" as we speak. We're both a little bummed that "Psych" is kaput. That's some funny stuff for any child of the 80's.
As I say in my book, "sometimes friends are as family". My extended family this year includes two amazing groups of women: my mastermind, and a spiritual group that evolved from Amy Oscar's Soul Caller retreat last year. They've always been an encouraging, uplifting, and often enlightening bunch of ladies. My Mastermind had their first get-away weekend, a book-signing event in Traverse City for Jill, and a jaunt around the lake in Ortonville on Pam's family boat. Our retreat group had a reunion gathering this year that was simply amazing.
It's always a blessing to watch these ladies soar to new heights, and I expect that 2015 will be even bigger for them.
I'm making slow, yet steady progress on the 100 pound weight loss goal I set for myself at the beginning of the year. I'm about 75% dairy-free now and closer to 95% gluten-free. The challenge comes when I am not home, and don't have a back-up plan - like when I'm mid-flight and ravenous, or when someone brings brownies home the night before grocery day when the cupboard is getting bare. It's forced me to be more proactive about my meals, which is rarely a bad thing. I'm at my lowest weight all year as I roll into the holidays (pray for me).
I've still got a few pounds to go before I hit 20 for the year, and I'm being compassionate with myself. I'm not giving myself carte blanche, though. I'm still doing what I can to be mindful. See all those cookies? The Aunts in my family have an annual tradition: Cookie Day. We made 11 different varieties of cookies. I had a few, but I shipped most of them to my son or my sister in California. Hee hee.
On the mental/emotional side of the Fitness coin, I did a lot of self-education this year. Aside from the work I did with Teresa, I jumped into several online courses, books, and training programs. I also got designated as a Certified Profit First Professional Business Coach (ooh! Fancy!). After being one of the editors for Mike Michalowicz's book by the same name, I recognized that implementing the Profit First approach meant that my business would be guaranteed a profit at the end of the year (it worked!). I was also able to work with a few clients in this approach, one of whom went from losing $10-12,000 each month to turning a $2-5,000 profit during our time together. Sha-zam! If you're interested in getting your own profit analysis, let me know. It's the first time in my life where I've said "I LOVE RUNNING THE NUMBERS!"
As I mentioned, my business turned a profit this year. Not only that, but I took quarterly profit sharing distributions - a first for my business. In the past, I didn't really feel my profitability - it was more on paper than anything else. This year, it felt empowering to cut myself a profit check at the end of each quarter. I'm really looking forward to next week's check - which should be the biggest of the year.
The shift was almost entirely due to the Profit First approach. It meant scaling back on a few things I didn't want to admit were not serving me. It forced me to be ruthlessly honest with myself about what was working in my business, and what wasn't. Gone were the "big" clients were playing "Moneyball" with my Great Work. I hired a kick-ass VA, updated the website, and got clear on my target market (not necessarily in that order).
I created content - lots of it. There are nearly 100 tunes in the 300 Songs project - many with videos now. My YouTube channel had over 50,000 new views this year, and now sports almost 250 subscribers, which is on pace with my goal for the year. Woo hoo! I also launched my new Dreamblazing program - a strategic planning system for personality-based business owners to meld their personal and professional goals.
"Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake. Luck ain't even lucky. Got to make your own breaks." - It's My Life
I spoke at a National Conference in Arizona (and had a ball!), taught a workshop in Minnesota, and got to perform in a variety of ways - including work for one of Detroit's biggest rap superstars (no, I did not rap, btw).
But the coolest thing that happened was seeing The Secret Watch hit multiple Amazon best-seller lists in the UK and here in the states. An experiment as part of my annual give-back campaign, it was a thrill to see my name "in lights" next to Tony Robbins and other business luminaries. What was even cooler was seeing all the 5-star reviews. Heartwarming at this time of year.
I got me a car, yo! I traveled a bit during the first half of the year, but I was still relying on others to get around. By the end of the year, I got my own set of wheels, and I am mobile, baby! When I made the commitment to pay cash for my ride, and NOT have a car payment, I thought it would only take a few months. It took YEARS, but here we are, and it was SO worth the wait.
On Father's Day, me and the fam took a trip to Cleveland so I could audition for The Voice. I learned a LOT about myself on that trip. I was in the audition room with a backup singer who was taking a break from a tour with a big name artist. He forgot his words and tripped over his introduction. I nailed my audition. Neither one of us got a call back, which just goes to show you that it's not about talent as much as it is about casting. So much for "blind" auditions.
"I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd. You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud." - It's My Life
Since this was a value in focus this year, there was a lot of getting myself aligned around the sense of freedom. I did a LOT more of what I enjoy, met some pretty amazing people, and had one of the best years of my life. And I turn 40 in a few days, so that's saying something!
I've put in a lot of effort over the last few years, tried on a lot of hats, and sorted through a lot of stuff that didn't end up working for me.
The time for all that is over. I've finally merged my love of music and performing with my love of business strategy in a way that works for me. It's taken years of doubt, trial, tears, and effort. This is the year of The Singing Business Coach, yo! Watch me work! 🙂
Creating your own niche isn't easy. There are definitely easier roads. I could just perform, or I could just coach, but neither would be fulfilling. It's like asking me to choose if I'm white or black: I'm bi-racial. I'm both. Deal with it.
So I've got to focus in, and stick to it, no matter what. I'm going in, guns blazing, determined to see what can happen for me in 2015.
Bon Jovi may have released it in 2000, but the lyrics really connected with me this year. I was especially struck by the Frank Sinatra reference: "Like Frankie said, 'I did it my way'." The idea of doing things my way has always come with a lot of baggage, and I'm ready for that to be different now.
I've had to "force" a lot of things to happen over the years. And doing things "my way" often meant doing things the hard way. Pushing to meet a goal or a deadline. Putting my financial or personal health at risk in order to achieve something.
Blech.
Now I understand DUMB goals, and how my way doesn't have to be "push, push, PUSH" all the time. I lived it this year. I like it. And I'm ready for more.
"This is for the ones who stood their ground... who never backed down." - It's My Life
I'm not one for social commentary or deep philosophical discussions, so consider this the "light version" of any meaningful conversation about the nexus of technology and society. This isn't a commentary about technology, though. It's more about what's unwittingly happened to people as we've become more "connected" to the world.
The Industrial Age gave us cookie-cutter, assembly line techniques for being efficient and crafting a uniformly effective offering.
That's awesome in a survival-based world, where cranking out quality stuff in quantity is important.
But that's not the world we live in anymore. On the whole, we are wealthier and healthier than we've ever been as human beings. Yes. there are exceptions to the rule, but most of those folks aren't reading this anyway, so it doesn't apply to them.
This applies to you. You, the person that's been cramming yourself into the same cookie-cutter mold for decades (or railing against it), because that's all there was.
I've been pretty lucky to "grow up" in the digital age. I'm technically not a Millenial, but I'm on the cusp. I built one of the first e-commerce websites back when animated gifts were all the rage (the first time), and video wasn't even a glimmer in the Internet's eye.
In that time, there've been lots of "game changers" - which is almost silly to say. The advent of the Internet is like watching an infant grow into a toddler and then a teen - everything is new, thus everything is a "game changer". But the one commonality I've witnessed over the last 20 years is the growing ease with which people can access, use, and contribute to this technology - and how this new-found ease impacts their work.
10 years ago, the idea of watching your favorite TV show or  a feature-length film on your stylish CaseFace phone was insane. Now, mobile and "third screen" viewing has eclipsed television, and will likely continue to do for the foreseeable future. The ability to take your media with you has relegated newsprint to the birdcage, and magazines I loved reading as a kid have gotten thinner and more ad-laden.
Less content, more commercials. A sure-fire end to most anything.
One look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs will show you that we've done a great job (on the whole) of getting those basic needs met. As I said before, we're wealthier and healthier than we've ever been in human history.
Here's another great example from Chip Conley, which condenses the pyramid into three layers (particularly the "employee" pyramid, which he's condensed to "money", "recognition", and "meaning").
Maslow's theory is that we work our way up the pyramid, once we've assured ourselves that our more basic needs are met. Once we've handled the basics like, food, shelter, clothing, saftey, and a paycheck, we can concern ourselves with "higher" issues like love, a sense of belonging, or recognition. Ultimately, once those things are handled, we can search for "self-actualization" or the meaning of life, if you will.
Here's the problem in a nutshell. We've been pushed up the pyramid, whether we like it or not. Computers have "connected" us, and made things incredibly easy, yet so many of us weren't ready for the shift.
Now, building a career can happen remotely. For my last job, I applied, interviewed, and was hired digitally. I worked from my Michigan home, and the company was thousands of miles away on the west coast. All my contact and interaction was digital: email, skype, webcam. No handshakes, no eye contact, just pixels.
Love and belonging (at least on some level) are just a facebook post away. When I'm feeling blue, I can post a simple "Hugs please" on Facebook, and my friends come out of the woodwork to encourage me. I never got that kind of instant gratification & encouragement before the Internet! So work, networking, and even relationships have gotten more efficient, thanks to technology.
We've got all this time on our hands, and yet we're stuck.
We're stuck because, now that the basics and middle-ground issues are being "handled," we have to look to ourselves and find meaning - something that takes time and can't be short-cut.
"Why am I here? What makes me valuable if a computer can do my old job in half the time? What real value do I bring to the world?"
We didn't have time to deal with these questions before. We had work to do, dammit, and that had to come first, so we could eat - so we could SURVIVE! But now, with all this time on our hands, we're having to face these questions - and some of us have a boatload of anxiety, depression, fear, or ambivalence toward it.
To make matters worse, we've been taught that thinking of ourselves is selfish and inconsiderate, and we are, therefore "BAD" for behaving that way.
No wonder our culture sometimes feels like it's on a downward spiral.
The truth is, you've been doing it since you were born. You "took" your first breath, and it's been downhill ever since. In reality, you can't NOT put yourself first. It's just that our culture has made it out to be some sort of a crime because there are those among us who would take it to the far extreme. Putting yourself ahead of everyone else - at all costs - is a kind of selfishness that often comes from a place of fear.
Self-care is not selfish - including in your work. (tweet this)
More and more employees are jumping ship to work for themselves. I'm meeting more entrepreneurs who left corporate America after only a few years of being disillusioned about their prospects with their employers. I'm also meeting entrepreneurs that are carving out a name for themselves by defining success on their own terms. They're creating businesses and offers that take into account how they like to work, who they like to work with, and what they want their life to be like so that they can experience success now - not in 35 years. They see that there's no pot at the end of the rainbow, that "someday" doesn't come with a big red ribbon, and they're deciding what they really want and going for it now.
To "older folks" entrenched in the ancient ways of the Industrial Age, it feels a bit like treason. It's definitely shaking up their snowglobes - the idea that they can give themselves permission to walk away from something they don't love and do something that brings them joy - and get paid to do it -still strikes fear into many of my older family members. They grew up in Depression-era America, where you got one job and stuck with it until you were old enough to retire, take the watch and the pension, and then go have a REAL life - if you lived that long. I know many employees of the assembly line factories who literally gave their lives to their work, dropping dead within a few days of retirement.
I've said before that now is the best time for you to create a business (and a life) that works for you. Of course, that means getting clear on who you really are and what's really important to you. It means doing the work at the top of the pyramid, and finding the meaning that matters...
... to YOU.
For some folks, this might seem foreign, or scary, but there are countless people in the world doing it. In fact, I'm launching a new series next year that spotlights these folks (more on that in a later post). They are becoming the norm. Gone are the days of three television networks and multi-national conglomerates that corner the market. Now is the time of what I call the "experience economy" - and creating a life for yourself that matters. It's reaching smaller, tighter markets and making a big impact. It's happening now.
On Monday, I'll be leading a free teleclass called "Success Your Way: How to have a profitable, sustainable business that works for you in 2015... and beyond." If you're at all interested in riding this wave of business with meaning, I invite you to join me. You'll learn more about this crazy "pyramid scheme" called business, as well as how to figure out which stage of growth your business is in and how to shape it to this new experience economy... which might sound more technical than it really is.
In short, we'll talk about how YOU can create a business that works for you, based on how you define success. And if you're not sure how to define success, we'll talk about that, too.
How are you dealing with the way technology has pushed you up the pyramid? What has been a blessing (or a curse) for you because of it? Share your comments below.
Here in the U.S., it's almost Thanksgiving, which means, black friday, cyber monday, and a whole lot of campy, cheesy, in-your-face marketing to ply you into buying more "stuff" to make your holiday complete.
Blech.
It's one of the reasons I do an annual give-back campaign each November around the anniversary of my launch of The Secret Watch. Last year, we gave away over 1000 books. This year, we're doing a week-long event, so I can't wait to see how it all shakes out on December 1. You can learn more about the give-back event here (there are a few cool prizes I'm giving away, too!).
It's one way I stay top-of mind with my audience without the crazy "sell. Sell! SELL!" of the holidays. But this kind of marketing madness can happen any time of year, as this week's post proves. I managed to contrive a "reason" for having a crazy sale for every month of the year... and one heart-centered approach that works all year long.
The best marketing, regardless of the season, is caring for your clients. (click to tweet)
Side note: For St. Patrick's Day, I was trying to point out my green shirt, not my boobs. *sigh*
I hope you get a kick out of this fun little video. After you've watched it, I'd love to hear your ideas for heart-centered marketing during the holidays (at any time of year). Share your ideas in the comments so we can all learn a thing or two about marketing done right.
I've been wanting to write a post for a very long time about a concept I dubbed "the two I's". Inasmuch as we have two eyes through which we see the world, there are two "I's" through which we see the world: our divine self and our human self.
You can try to dodge them, but no matter how hard you try, you will experience the agony and ecstasy of both "selves" in your lifetime. I've talked about our Shadow self before. How the Coward and the Pretender protect ourselves from the world, and the world from us. How they are all part and parcel to our being. But I thought an incredibly personal example from my own upbringing might drive the point a little deeper.
It's probably a good thing my family doesn't read my writing much. Especially this week. I've written about my Dad before, but I don't usually talk about my Mom. That's because ours wasn't the greatest of relationships. While my Dad and I weren't exactly buddies, he wasn't around much as a kid, so he and I didn't develop the strong animosities that Mom and I did.
Dad was a Vet from WWII. He fought in the Asia Pacific Campaign on the island of Hawaii. I never knew much about what he did or who he was, since that was 30+ years before I was even born.
This past week, his replacement Army medals arrived. He earned a bronze star for his campaign medal, and I'm still not entirely sure what that means. In addition to the victory medal, also earned a Good Conduct Medal and a marksman badge for rifle (which explains the gun he kept in the closet when I was growing up). He also earned an honorable service pin. To look at all that regalia, you'd think Dad was some kind of war hero deserving of a halo and a front row seat in Heaven.
Perhaps.
This was the same man who, in his 60's no less, took my mom to abandoned houses to pull out and strip the copper wiring to sell at the junkyard for cash. Granted, that cash was used to feed his family and keep a roof over our heads, but breaking the law is breaking the law, no matter what the intention.
Lest you think Mom was some kind of victim in all this, she is the prostitute in the subheading above. Did you ever wonder what happens to prostitutes after they clean up their act and get off the street? I did, until I learned about Mom's "torrid past".
Back in the early 1970's, Dad was a cab driver. He was in his early 50's, married to a drug addict with two kids - one whom he'd sired and she another she brought to the marriage. To hear Dad tell it, he loved her, but she couldn't kick her habit, so he was looking for another "option". That's when he met my mom. She was this 20-something vixen - one of the few white chicks that hung out at an all-black bar in town where he liked to go between calls.
I never knew mom or dad to be much in the way of drinkers, so that story took me by surprise.
He knew she was earning money the "old fashioned" way, and decided he wanted to get her off the streets and clean her up. So he moved her into his house - with his wife and kids - under the guise of being a live-in nanny and part-time cabbie.
My mom, the undercover live-in lover of my dad, a married man with kids. The wife was too high to care, I presume. Then one day Dad was in the kitchen making wifey a sandwich. She OD'd right in front of the kids and died.
There was nothing to stop them from getting married, so they did. Mom & Dad eventually adopted both boys and went on to have both me and my sister - all before the end of Gerald Ford's presidency.
By the 1980's we were one big family - the kind that put the "fun" in dysfunctional (this picture is from one of the few family camping trips we all took together). My oldest brother (on the right) started stealing from the family. My heroic war vet dad would bind his hands and hang him from the wrists in the garage and whip him with a belt to get him to 'fess up. That put fear into the rest of us to not steal.
My other brother (on the left) decided that it was okay to force himself upon his much younger sister (me) instead. I didn't understand then why my Mother defended him. For years it was easy for me to see the darkness of Mom and the light in my Dad. Dad, the Angel, had left my mom because, well, she was the Devil. Nothing was ever good enough for her demanding ways. It was stressful, painful, and downright horrible.
After Dad and mom split up the first time, Mom took to the belt like a natural. It was an abusive, yet loving home - something you'd only expect to hear from a child of an abusive home. I'm pretty sure my extended family was somewhat aware, but nothing was ever done to my knowledge; no visits from child protective services as far as I know.
Then, in an effort to "make it work for the kids' sake" they got back together. That didn't last long. It was a painful mess of a relationship that colored so much of what my view on men, marriage, and family became for many many years.
It wasn't until I was an adult, with a child of my own, that I could really own that they were both a tangled web of shadows and light - like we all are.
As I approach my fortieth birthday, I look back and do my best to temper both the light and dark in my family. Fitting, since I'm biracial, right?
Amid all that darkness, I remember how my Dad would sit with me every week when my oldest son was still a toddler, and instruct and encourage me to be a better parent. How Mom attended and supported my sister's softball team in high school. The vacations and road trips we took to various parts of Michigan and the Eastern U.S. How they were both compassionate grandparents for as long as they were alive.
Those were good, glorious times: when Mom and Dad were letting their Divine selves shine through.
No one is perfect, in the zone, or "on" all the time. We see it played out when celebrities get caught doing something stupid, or a politician admits to some "corrupt" act. When I yell at my kids, swear at the driver that cut me off, or give credence to the "not enough" voices in my head.
On the other hand, our Divine nature calls us to live beyond our humanity. Wallowing in the "bad" things we do and resigning ourselves to our imperfection is a cop out. Saying "I told you I was trouble. You know that I'm no good." - with apologies to Amy Winehouse - is a cop out. We owe it to ourselves - to our highest good and to the people who need us to share our divine gifts - to keep showing up, warts and all.
When I meet someone for the first time that's previously watched my videos or read my blog, invariably, they say something about how inspiring I am because I have the courage to just show up as I am. That me "being vulnerable" is some kind of salve for them that gives them hope and courage to show up for themselves, too.
I used to think it was a back-handed way of saying "you could at least put on some makeup in those videos!" See how I couldn't even receive the compliment that was being handed to me? I was stealing from myself and robbing them of the gift of true gratitude.
Recently, though, I've noticed more and more people saying the same thing - as if my vulnerability is a gift I get to shine into the world for those who need it.
I'll be the first person to tell you I'm not perfect (my kids would probably be the second). It's part of why I don't show up with flashy videos and perfectly coiffed hair. My dishes are regularly undone, my house it quite often in disarray, and don't even think about looking at my desk right now - I'm not sure you could find it.
I've lied. I cheated. I've been "the other woman" - on more than one occasion. I've been mean, cruel, and just a downright "bad" person. And, as my favorite poet likes to remind us, still I rise.
Why?
Because my Divinity refuses to let my Humanity own me. Each day is another chance to stand up to the shadows of all my yesterdays, shine a light and say "screw you yesterday, I'm going to show up and keep trying to do better."
Not "do perfect." Do better.
My Humanity also refuses to let my Divinity own me. Because each day is another day for me to experience joy, emotion, respect, fear, lightness, darkness, faith, courage, happiness, anger, rage, and all the other emotions that are part of the human experience.
It's difficult to see the world through one eye. You're constantly craning your neck to see what you're missing. If you have two eyes, it seems senseless to cover one of them and pretend it doesn't exist. Why not put it to good use and see the rest of the world around you?
Why indeed. It's much harder to live life pretending you're perfect (or evil). You're constantly shift around to keep people from seeing the side you wish to ignore. If you have two sides, it seems senseless to cover one of them up and pretend it doesn't exist. Why not put it to good use and let us (and yourself) experience you showing up fully in the world around you?
"Dreams without goals are just dreams that ultimately fuel disappointment." - Denzel Washington
You know what SMART goals are, right? It's a helpful little acronym that breaks your goals into something that's:
So many people use SMART goals - and for a lot of people that works. But not me. Not for a lot of big dreamers I know. It's too hard to wrap a big dream into the SMART package.
Sometimes, it's a challenge to get clear on the specifics of a goal. Take, for example, my desire to win a Grammy. It's a real dream of mine. But right now, my music doesn't easily fall into a category. It's not really pop music. It's not blues or jazz per se - although if the category still exists in a few years, it could be construed as contemporary pop. And someone recently reminded me that I'm also a speaker, so it's possible that my Grammy might come in the spoken word category - or even the comedy category, since I can be a bit humorous from time to time.
So while I have the desire to win a Grammy, it's not easy to get more specific than that.
Sometimes, big dreams are difficult to measure. In the case of a Grammy, it's not so hard: when I have it, I have it. Until then, I don't. But in the case of wanting to leave a positive impact in the world (or a dent in the universe as Steve Jobs put it). Setting a goal to sell a hundred, a thousand, or even a million copies of my book is measurable and specific, but will that really change lives? I won't know until someone reaches out and tells me that my book made a difference to them.
Then there's that whole "is this really attainable?" thing. Who really knows what's attainable? Some of our greatest inventions came by accident and curiosity. Sir Richard Branson cracked an April Fool's joke about a product that would one day become reality. Now, millions of people own MP3 players of some sort. Nobody believed it was attainable. Now, it's commonplace.
I think of Columbus and the debate over whether the world was flat or round. Sometimes, you don't know if it's attainable until you try. Sometimes you fail, but the attainability of a goal, in my mind, shouldn't be a qualifier on whether or not you give it a try. There are lots of failed attempts that ultimately led to success. Light bulbs, anyone? The original inventor couldn't figure out how to get his filament to burn more than a few seconds. FAILURE!
But Edison and his crew stepped in and worked over and over and over until they found a way to make it work. Voila! Electric light - and ultimately electricity in every home gives me the ability to send this message to you anywhere in the world.
Which ties into the whole realistic thing. Who really thought it was realistic 100 years ago to have little video screens in every home? You can watch moving pictures from the comfort of your living room couch! Back in 1914, We were embroiled in survival struggles. Wars. That kind of thing. It wasn't until 1926 that the first broadcast of moving pictures even happened - and they were crappy compared to today's standards. Heck, we were still watching silent movies until 1927! It wasn't until 1939 that the first experimental broadcast network was set up in the US - and color TV didn't come on the scene until the 50's - but most homes didn't see it until the 60's.
So until about 50 years ago, it was pretty unrealistic to think that you'd be able to watch "talkies" in your living room... with a push of a button.. or downloaded off this thing called the Internet.
So much for "realistic" eh?
Who really knows how long it will take for a big dream to materialize? It took Christopher Plummer most of his life to win an Oscar. The Oscar is one of the highest honors an actor can receive. While I'm sure he wasn't acting for the sake of earning an Oscar (a sure-fire way to NOT win one, I'm told), the look on his face when he held that statuette and said "Where have you been all my life?" only illustrated further that a time-bound goal can be a little limiting. So what if it takes your whole life to achieve a goal? I guess, in that respect, it is time-bound. But would you turn it away, too little too late, if you didn't achieve it until after you died? Remember some of our greatest artists didn't know success in their lifetime, yet their legacy impacts the lives of countless people hundreds of years after their death.
Does "eternity" count as time-bound? 🙂
So when it comes to big dreams, SMART goals leave me cold. There are those that would say that you could still use SMART goals on the smaller sub-set of steps you need to take in order to achieve those big goals, and I agree. It also makes it a lot easier to lose sight of the goal itself and get lost in the minutiae of the every day steps that may or may not ultimately lead you to your goal.
Take the Grammy for example. There are some things I need to do: join the Academy, for example. Those are more tasks then goals, though. I need to have a project -an album, a song, a something that could be submitted for consideration by the Academy. But what? An album of songs? A single song? Design a package for a project (they give Grammys for design, too). Or maybe a video? Hmmm... see how easy it is to get lost in the minutiae?
Lately, I've been working on "DUMB" goals - even a few of my clients and colleagues admit that the DUMB approach is actually very helpful.
Here's how it works. DUMB goals are:
D - Doable
U - Understandable
M - Meaningful
B - Believable
Is this something that, with the existing resources and technologies available or known to you, can be done? Television was an extension of ideas that had been developed back in the 1800's. So it was most likely do-able, they just needed access to the resources. Radio waves were already transmitting across the country, so broadcast technology existed, they just needed to figure out how to tweak those waves to send images as well as sound.
Everything they needed was available, just not all in one place. It required some testing, experimenting and putting those pieces together - like a jigsaw puzzle, trying to make the pieces fit together.
So while it seemed unrealistic, it was, in fact, very doable.
"1000 songs in your pocket." Nothing could have been easier to understand when Steve Jobs uttered those words about a device that no one had believed was even possible. Funny enough, MP3 players existed before the Ipod. They were clunky, unsexy, and relegated to the realm of nerds and technophiles. MP3s had been around for quite a while, so it really wasn't a stretch to create a disc drive that would hold them and play them. The technology existed, so it was doable, but how to you explain what these little boxes do in a way that gets you move a million units?
1000 songs in your pocket is a very understandable goal.
There are a lot of folks that think I'm nuts, wanting to go for a Grammy. But it is meaningful to me. There's an aura of prestige around those little gramophone statuettes (Prestige is one of my triggers), it's also a symbol of recognition and acceptance from a field of my peers. Those things are meaningful to me. Maybe not to you, but because they are to me, I'm willing to do the work to achieve the goal.
If you set goals that aren't meaningful to you, why are you setting them at all? (Click to tweet)
To those that say I'm deluding myself into thinking I can win a Grammy, I say you don't have to believe it's possible. Only I do.
Owning dreams that are believable is one of the biggest mistakes I see people make. "I want to make a million dollars" someone will say to me, but when I take them through the threshold of belief exercise, they don't even believe it's possible for them to do so.
So many people believed the world was flat. They fought about it. But someone believed - and a few were willing enough to believe that they loaned some boats and supplies so this Columbus kid could go cavorting to the "edge of the world". Worst case scenario, they wouldn't get the boats back and there'd be one less weirdo on the planet.
Turns out that willingness is a big piece to allowing space for believability. If you're not sure you can believe in the possibility of your dream, are you at least willing to try to believe it? Are you willing to hold space that someone else might believe in it (and you)? Because I believe in you. If you're reading this right now, I'm cheering for you. I know you've got something special, and if you want it to happen, I want it for you.
So that's how I handle goal setting now. Forget SMART goals, I'm all about DUMB goals. Goals that are do-able, understandable, meaningful and believable to me. Forget what the rest of the world thinks! DUMB goals are a great idea.
There are those that would say it's a negative approach, but I've found it actually plays into a sort of "reverse psychology" - when people criticize your goals, call them dumb or whatever, you can say "Yep. They're DUMB alright. And I'm going to GO for it!"
My clients get it, and since it doesn't force them to reprogram their thoughts, it becomes a more effortless way to own your dreams.
So what say you? This is the first time I've really been transparent about my goal setting process. You may already be familiar with how I prioritize things (using The PEACE System), but this is the first time I've ever shared publicly my DUMB goal setting technique. I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas about it.
About a year ago, my husband and I bought a Porsche. We call it "The Time Machine" because it's really a blast from the past.
When we bought it, we got the expected commentary from friends and family:
"A Porsche? Really? How can you afford that?"
"What are you going to do with a Porsche? It's way too small for your family."
"Mom, can I have it when I graduate from high school?"
... and on and on.
When they found out it was a Porsche 924 - a classic from 1977 - and we only paid about $1500 for it, the comments took a different turn:
"What are you going to do with an old beat up car?"
"Forget it! I don't want my friends seeing me in an OLD car!"
"That's $1500 more than I would have paid."
"Does it have seatbelts?"
"Regular or unleaded gas?"
... and my favorite: "Can you even fit in that thing?"
One guy I used to know - who owns a limited edition Porsche Panamera (valued around $75k) - liked to poke fun and ask me when we were going to get a real Porsche. He'd say to me "Don't you want to see yourself someday in a new Porsche?"
I wonder if he'd say that to his wife - who is about 20 years his junior. 🙂
Last summer was a rough one for us. After two years of trying to keep a failing business venture afloat, and some personal financial issues around the health of our kids, we made a tough decision (more…)
Never before, and probably never again am I
gonna do something like this.
Give a look at this week's video. If
You have ever had projects that you felt like giving
up on, I challenge you to think differently. You'll
never experience success if you keep saying you're
gonna get to it "someday."
Let yourself off the hook!
You deserve a little bit of time to clear your head - maybe some
down time, sure - but if you keep quitting before you start, you'll
never get where you want to go. I'm
gonna share with you a little secret... When you
run through this video, you'll see what I mean. Somewhere
around the 1:13 mark, you'll find out my "third approach"
and how it can help you get through task overwhelm. If you feel lost in the
desert on the number of projects you've got on your plate,
you are not alone. Just remember that quitting is
never the answer. It's gonna take stamina, it's
gonna take determination, it's gonna take sweat equity to
make your dreams come true.
You deserve to stand tall and own your dreams. Don't
cry about missed opportunities. Keep pressing on!
Never give up on what really matters. I'm
gonna say that again. Never give up on what really matters!
Say to yourself that you're worth it! Say
"goodbye" to negative thinking. You're
never going to entertain those thoughts again. You're
gonna take the world by storm!
Tell everyone about your awesome new plan...
a plan that will give you power over overwhelm. Don't
lie around waiting for "someday" to sneak up
and leave you high and dry. Get over your
hurt and let the world know how lucky we are to have
you in it!
(Or just watch the video and it will all become clear)
Subscribe to Lisa’s YouTube Channel | More from the 300 Songs Project
I'm laying down a challenge for you today.
This week's post shares a quick tip and friendly reminder to clear out the clutter in your heart, your home, and your life. When you do, there's a gift that comes back to you. Clearing space always makes room for something new. What that "something"
What about you? What's the Key Area of Success where you could take a moment and create some space? When you've cleared space n the past, what was the "new" that showed up for you? Share your thoughts in the comments for our whole community to enjoy.
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Happy Independence Day Weekend!
For the 300 songs project this week, I thought it was ironic that I was singing a breakup song by a Brit today (since the US broke up with Great Britain all those years ago), but the votes on Facebook made it hands down the winner. Next week, I'll post the Beyonce tune. 🙂
Watch for my badass boots and my Grandfather's military jacket from WWII. Later this year, I'm hoping to have my Dad's military medals, and when I get them, I'll show them to ya!
Subscribe to Lisa's YouTube Channel | More from the 300 Songs Project
I'm proud of my family's military history, and I'm grateful to ALL the men and women who put their life on the line every day to keep our country in one piece. Say what you will about the current regime, these people risk everything so I can sit in my living room and sing to you. "Thank you" doesn't begin to cut it, but it's what I've got today. THANK YOU!
