Today is an important day for me. Not only is it the launch of Season 3 of Creative Freedom (cue the confetti!), it's also National Freedom Day. It's the day we commemorate the freeing of the slaves in our country. Were it not for this day, my father would never have been born and my family wouldn't exist. Most Americans are familiar with Black History Month, but this day was the very first day that paved the way for it.
Yes, it's sad that we need to set aside a special month to honor the achievements of blacks in the history of our country. Yes, more needs to be done to address the systemic problems that persist in our nation, but that's not what this episode is about. This episode is about the young boy who grew into the creative entrepreneur that would ultimately make this day possible. You may not know his name, but after today, you will.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and let's rise together! If you're looking for a community of support and encouragement to help you bring your vision into being, join us in the Accountability Club, where I teach you how to build your dreams in a as little as an hour each day.
With all the tragedies and depressing headlines of recent weeks, it would be easy to close up shop, dig a hole, and hide yourself away for the rest of your life.
There's a lot of hurt in the world, and marketing your creative business might seem a bit - shall we say frivolous? - during these uncertain times. It doesn't even have to be a national tragedy. Sometimes personal tragedy strikes, too, and that can make it even more difficult to keep things "business as usual". Although, it might not actually be "business a usual" anymore.
Yet, it is precisely because of these times that we need you to keep showing up and keep sharing your Great Work with your world.
But how can you be a person of integrity and run a profitable, sustainable business at the same time?
This week's episode is my best attempt to answer that question with sincerity (and a dash of humor in the style of other Creative Freedom episodes). If you or someone you know is struggling to make sense of how to ethically build your business during these challenging times, this episode may help.
I've put myself in a potentially dangerous situation here by sharing from my heart like this. If you've ever thought about leaving a comment, please do it today, because this episode, more than any other I've created to date, needs your support. And frankly, I could use the encouragement, since this is a very sensitive topic. It's possible I've made a mess of trying to be helpful (it happens), but the only way I'll know is if you tell me.
I try to have fun in these episodes, so that, too, could be taken the wrong way. Again, your comments and ideas help open the discussion for everyone.
Just because others are in pain doesn't mean you can't share your joy. (Tweet This)
Share your struggles and solutions in the comments, and let's be a rising tide for everyone!
"You can't win if you don't play."
Mom used this sentence to justify a lot of behavior when I was a kid: learning to ride a bike, auditioning for plays, joining the cross country team (I took 11th place in the city meet). And yes, mom played the lottery. She had a winning streak where, with a little help from technology and lottery dream books, she won several days each week for a few weeks. Naturally, those words rang through my head every time I was faced with a risk-reward decision.
Until this week.
If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you may have already heard about how I found this lottery ticket on the ground while I was on a field trip with my kid. I thought it was trash (LITTERBUGS! ARGH!), so I picked it up to throw away when we got to the car.
But when I saw it was a lottery ticket, I figured I'd check the numbers when I got home, just in case.
I won the BIG money, honey! TWO WHOLE DOLLARS! WOO HOO!!
Every morning, I sit down to do The PEACE System (a process I created to help clear my head and prioritize my day). Because field trips can be stressful - particularly with a special needs kid - I made a point of setting the intention to look for miracles.
Frankly, a well-behaved child would have qualified as a miracle in my book. I certainly wasn't expecting free money to fall at my feet. But hey, I'll take it!
I asked for (and was looking for) a miracle, and I got it. And the kid behaved, too!
You've probably heard stories about people who say "I won the lottery and it changed my life." Never did I think I'd be one of those people, since I don't play the lottery.
But winning those two bucks most certainly changed my life. If you want to test out your luck as well, you can go to sites like 바카라 사이트, for example.
"You can't play if you don't win" is a double-edged sword. In a way, I did "play" because I picked up the ticket and cashed it in. But in a way I didn't play, because I didn't actually buy the ticket. It wasn't even given to me (in the traditional sense). And the person that dropped the ticket probably thought it was a "loser" because they played $10 and "only" won $2. They lost money on the deal.
But from my perspective, I was $2 richer!
The last 18 months have been arduous and hard for me on a lot of fronts. At some point, I probably faced down some depression, though I was never clinically diagnosed. I've done a LOT of questioning my worth, my value, and why I'm really on this planet in the first place.
Two dollars won't even buy me a soda at my local restaurant, let alone pay my rent, but it was a sign. A clear sign that miracles are there if we are looking for them. I know that sounds kind of mystical and metaphysical, but it's true. I found that money because I was looking for it.
Well, I was looking for a miracle, and I chose to see this "win" as a miracle.
You have to have your eyes open and show up.
You have to be willing to go for what matters to you - even if it seems unreasonable. Even if it seems impossible. If it's in your heart to have it, you have to be courageous enough to show up for it. And keep showing up consistently.
In that respect, Mom was right: you can't win if you don't play.
But she was also wrong. I won without playing "the game" (by society's rules, at least). That little lottery ticket opened a Pandora's box of questions about the "teaching" that's been passed down through my family for generations. The "lessons" and "stories" that, in a previous era, had to be true for survival no longer serve the person I'm becoming in this era of creative entrepreneurship.
In the past, if you didn't "play by the rules", you wouldn't be taken seriously, and you probably wouldn't even get a foot in the door, let alone win. There were gatekeepers, expectations, and unwritten "rules" that were foisted on you by your industry, society and "the world". These rules were designed to keep certain people out, and to protect the survival of others. You had to play their way, or you simply couldn't play.
Now, you have a lot more latitude to define success on your own terms and not just survive, but thrive. You can create your own career, doing what you love, and make good money doing it - without selling your soul. That's the entire premise of how I help my clients!
Those old stories that once served to protect, inspire, and motivate me, had been holding me back from the life and career I was meant to have. I couldn't see that until I won the lottery.
What thoughts, beliefs, and stories do you hold as true, that might actually be limiting your success without you even realizing it? Untangling those beliefs and thought patterns can be tough, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.
But here's the other thing that rattled my brain. I won $2. Winning anything was contingent upon someone else. Somebody else played the game, bought the ticket, left it on the ground. At least three other people walked right past the ticket before I picked it up. In short, I had no control over the outcome. All I could do was be in the right place at the time of the miracle.
Miracles are awesome, and they can feel magical. But they are, in many ways, unpredictable - even if you're looking for them. You don't know when they'll arrive, or in what form, and sometimes it's hard to know if it even is a miracle until well after the fact. Sometimes the worst thing that ever happened to you is actually a blessing in disguise... a miracle you won't see until years later.
In life, we can wait for others to open doors for us, or we can make a plan and get sh*t done. (Tweet This)
Waiting around for miracles is the snail's path to success. Can it happen? Sure! I just won the lottery, for crying out loud! But, I only won $2, because that's all the ticket was worth. Someone else got to dictate the terms of my success. I could only win what they played and paid for.
I don't want someone else to dictate how successful I can be. I don't want someone else to have that much influence over my success journey. I mean, I won't turn away blessings when they show up - even the $2 variety - and I'm not going out of my way to play the lottery, either.
I know I can't control everything - and some might say that control, like safety, is an illusion. But if I set an intention and follow it with consistent action, I'm going to move the ball further down the field more often than the guy standing around, waiting for a winning lottery ticket to fall at his feet.
Will there be setbacks? Most likely. As we all know, the so-called "overnight success" stories usually involve a lot more preparation and hardship than we realize. As Thomas Edison famously said, "opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
I'm no stranger to hard work, although I'd like to be. 🙂
There were other gems of discovery that I'm still unpacking, and I'm sure you could tease out a few lessons of your own from this story, but ultimately, while I welcome all the miracles and blessings coming my way, I'm not going to sit on the sidelines and wait for them. I'm going to keep showing up, sharing my Great Work, and defining success on my terms. Not my mom's terms, or the terms of my ancestors, or even the terms of my fans and clients.
My game is the only game that matters for me. It's a game I'm happy to play, and one I can't lose, because I make the rules.
You may have heard the story about Walter Matthau. An aspiring actor approached him at some function and said that he was looking for that one big break. Matthau, in his caring, yet cynical style, says , "Kid, it's not the one big break, it's the fifty."
Overnight success rarely is, and most creatives that have been toiling for years can attest to that. But there comes a time for most when the heat is on - from well-meaning family and friends - to think hard about doing something else. I'm sure you've probably heard one of these famous quotes before:
Mom spoke those well-meaning, heart-crushing words when I told her I wanted to be a professional musician. I think the words I actually used were "rock star", which may have prompted her advice. After all, being a rock star in the 90's wasn't as easy as it is today. You actually had to have talent and compete for a record deal with a major label in order to see real financial success.
Back then, during the "golden age" of music, who could have anticipated the collapse of the industry, the shift from physical to digital media, and the rise of the "Internet Star"? Heck, I recorded my first album just over 10 years ago, when social media was still a glimmer on the horizon.
Today, all you need is the Internet, a webcam, and a dream, and stardom is yours, right?
Not exactly.
See it's not about the big break, it's about the fifty. I might even go so far as to say it's not even about the fifty, but the hundreds, if not thousands of little breaks that happen almost every day.
Showing up every day to script and film your show, create your art, teach your audience, reach YOUR right people. Even if there are only five people in the room... even if no one shows up for your workshop.
When I decided to start teaching online classes, I didn't have a large list. Like everyone else, I started at zero. I remember when I got my first seven subscribers and I didn't know ANY of them! I felt like a rock star in that moment, for sure. Here were seven strangers who had signed up for my newsletter and wanted to learn what I was teaching.
I felt like I arrived. Over time, my list grew, and then came the day I posted my first event announcement and sign up form for a teleclass I was teaching. Three people signed up, and I was thrilled! I didn't have a big list - probably less than a hundred, but here I was leading my first workshop for three lucky people!
No one showed up on the line.
At this point, I had a few choices. I could cancel, reschedule the call for a better day and time, or just record the thing and share the recording.
I figured it was good practice, so why not just go ahead and record the thing? If anyone showed up late, they'd be able to ask questions to get caught up.
No one showed, but I recorded that class. And it was a good thing, too, because once I shared the audio, people listened, commented and shared. That led to more classes and a growing audience for my business.
Six years later, I got a call from someone who found that old recording online and hired me to speak at her event.
You just never know which one break will lead to the next. I guess you could say every break is a big break in waiting.
Creativity is about sharing your truth with the world. It's not about the medium, it's not even about the message. It's about being willing to be vulnerable enough to share yourself and let the world inside your brain for a minute or three... no matter how long it takes.
Steven Pressfield authored The Legend of Bagger Vance over the course of a few months. It was sold to a publisher three weeks later and optioned for a movie about a month after that.
He was 51.
He wrote his first novel when he was 24. That in-between time was all about the little breaks, as Pressfield writes:
"It wasn't all wilderness. Within those twenty-seven years, I earned a living for at least a dozen as a professional writer. I worked in advertising. I had a career as a screenwriter. And I spent six years writing unpublishable novels (which counts as work, too)."
Which brings me to that other iconic phrase:
It's often something we hear when someone isn't up to the task of their dream. A guy who wants to be a singer, but can't carry a tune in a bucket. A gal who dreams of being a dancer, but has two left feet. A kid with rotten comedic timing, who desires more than anything to have a spot on Saturday Night Live.
"Don't quit your day job" has been equated with failure.
I say it's time to reclaim the phrase. There's nothing wrong with a “day job” - if you're clear on your priorities and pursuits. Having a financial cushion will help you live more confidently and BE more confidently. It's easier to be your creative self when you're not afraid of how you'll get by if your Great Work isn't paying the bills.
They day job can a double-edged sword, to be sure. When I was jobless, I had plenty of time to create, but I also put an inordinate amount of pressure on myself to make my Great Work pay because I had kids, bills, and lifecrap that needed financial support or it would all fall apart.
With so much riding on everything you produce, you can imagine how much perfectionism and comparisonits can set in – two traits common in us Fusion-type creatives. I looked to “formulas”, “blueprints” and any other “surefire” approach that would help me generate an income. Trying to scrape by without the financial means that a day job could provide held me back for many years. I didn't say, do, or act on what I knew to be true, but followed the herd instead. My results were mediocre, at best.
When I let go of that fear, and gave myself permission to earn my living in the way that worked for me (and took the pressure of my Great Work) things shifted. I let go of the “shame” and “stigma” that most creatives ascribe to having a day job. As a result, I was able to be more creative AND make more money doing what I loved.
Funny how that happens.
Elizabeth Glibert, in her book “Big Magic,” confessed that she held down a job until well after “Eat Pray Love” made oodles of cash (she had written several earlier books). She never wanted to pressure her art into being the source of her survival.
Letting go of fear doesn't mean being “fearless”. Far from it. Letting go of fear means being willing to experience fear and not let it stop you.
I don't mean the "feel the fear and do it anyway" tripe that people like to profess. THAT is easy to say and hard to do. What I mean is being willing to own your fear and find ways to navigate it - support groups, or taking even smaller steps than you think you "should" be taking.
Like Confucius said "It doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop."
That's what I mean. It's not about jumping head first into the thing that scares the pants off you. It's not about speed to market. It's about doing what you can, as you are able, and just not quitting until you're done.
Instead of giving up entirely, and resigning our creative selves to life under the thumb of "The Man," let's take a page from the likes of Pressfield and Gilbert - who both held down other jobs while they relentlessly pursued their creative work.
Recognize your "day job" as your biggest sponsor, your Sugar Daddy, your benefactor - the one who keeps you clothed and fed so you can hone your craft.
And keep showing up for your Great Work, too. It might take you a dozen years, or three decades, or more. But does it really matter if you're doing what you love?
Someone asked me if there ever comes a time to quit. I'll save my full answer for another day, but here's the spoiler:
Don't quit your day job, and don't quit your dream. That next little break could be your big one.
Have you ever watched Cake Boss? They make some pretty amazing cakes, and my youngest has recently become fascinated with every cooking show on Netflix he can find, including that one.
I'm no Cake Boss, but I love my kids.
So when it comes to birthdays, I do my best to give my kids the cake they most want. Sometimes, when it's clearly beyond my skill, I get help:
My friend has mad cake skills, and she once made my youngest this fun Angry Birds cake. The grass alone would have put me in the loony bin.
But this year, my youngest wanted a lego cake - which he, of course, designed using legos:
At first blush, it looked simple enough for me to tackle. Four "bricks" layered on and around one larger "brick" in a quasi "L" shape (because "Liam" starts with "L" after all). I used graph paper. I measured. I planned, and I baked the hell outta this cake. I bought three cake mixes and two cans of frosting, just to be sure I had enough of everything, in case I screwed up and had to do it again. I even started making the cake two days before his birthday - JUST to be sure.
A half sheet cake and 2 dozen miniature muffins later, I thought I had this in the bag.
Until I didn't.
Making the cake part was easy. Mix and bake. Cutting the cake into bricks went pretty smoothly, too. I froze the whole lot to make sure of it. I remembered the LAST time I made a lego cake, and how I thought it would be easy, but it didn't quite turn out according to plan:
So this time, I took it out of the pan, froze it, and that made it SO much easier to level and frost.
But then there were those blasted studs. The lego cake two years ago was a pain to frost between the studs... and this time the studs would be smaller!
I figured that mini muffins would work well, since the last time we used regular cupcakes. But the minis were too wide, and I couldn't get six of them on the bottom layer.
Then I had this seemingly brilliant idea - I have a small petit-four cutter that I could use to cut the cupcakes into perfectly shaped studs!
Hooray!
Except the cake was so light and fluffy that they kept falling apart.
Crap.
So then I had another seemingly brilliant idea - what if I dipped the cake studs in chocolate? That should firm them up, yes?
No.
Even frozen, the fluffy tubes of cake kept spinning on the dipping stick. So I just plunged one into the chocolate, and it disintegrated in the warm puddle of chocolatey goo.
Double Crap.
I looked for suggestions on how to frost the studs on a lego cake... and got all kinds of explanations telling me I was doing it wrong.
People were using brownies, peanut butter cups - pretty much everything except cake.
And all I had were these crumbling pieces of cake. I had to make ten studs, and I'd already lost seven of my mini cupcakes. I was starting to panic.
Okay, I was, in fact, getting angry. So angry, that I scraped up all the chocolatey cake glop and poured it out onto wax paper, trying to figure out what the bleep I was going to do. I grabbed the wounded cupcake remains - shot clean through by the cutter - and started squishing and squeezing them, generally being pissed off at the world.
The chocolate and cake started to form this dough-like substance. I'm told this is something like how cake balls are made.
So I took my doughy-chocolate-cake-ball glop, packed it down into the petit-four mold, then I stuck it in the freezer for a minute or three.
Voila! A perfectly hard chunk of cake-stuff that wasn't going to be a beeotch to frost! Now I could proceed with the crumb coat!
I frosted and froze each layer independently, then assembled everything once the crumb coat was on. I'd like to say that was my first mistake, but if you've read this far, you know better. I really should have frosted each layer separately and then assembled the darn thing after all the frosting was completed. But since I'm not a cake boss, and I was building this whole thing from a lego design, I, of course, built it the same way my kid built the original plan.
Only problem is, cakes don't interlock the way legos do.
When we cut into it today, we'll have to avoid the mine field of wooden skewers and toothpicks that are deftly holding this creation in an upright and locked position.
But it's assembled. I even managed to frost it (in multiple colors) without killing myself. Although I ended up sending the husband out for another tub of frosting because I didn't have enough to put on the final white coat or finish the blue layer.
I managed to finish last night, just in time for him to see it before he went to school this morning.
Here's the finished product:
It leans a little The layers aren't perfect. If you look really closely, there are a couple of spots behind the blue studs where the white crumb coat still shows because I couldn't get in there to frost it without screwing up the green. On the other side, there's a small gap between the yellow and white frosted layers. And the size of the studs make it look more like a set of Duplo blocks than Legos, but you know what? My kid thinks it's fantastic, so I am completely happy with it.
"Exactly 10 studs showing, Mom! Nice job. And you used strong brick connections, just like a real Lego build!"
Dude. I just followed your design. I changed the colors a bit (I was NOT making grey frosting. Ick.), but other than that, this is your design, kid.
And that's the reality of being a mom - it's not about me. Sure, I want it to be perfect and measure up to the original idea, but my definition of perfect and his are entirely different. Maybe his bar is set too low, but maybe mine is set too high - on a lot of things.
So, too, is this the journey of every creative entrepreneur. We get an idea, and even the best laid plans don't always mean our project will turn out perfectly... far from it, usually. You can plow a lot of money into hiring a great team to support a project and still get lousy results (like Langley's government-backed team of experts trying to get an airplane off the ground). You might even run out of frosting - er, I mean, resources - mid way through the project. But still you plow through.
So if it's not about money, or planning, or even a great idea, what is it really about?
Oh, I know it sounds all cliche and Pollyanna, but the reality is that love - not passion - is what keeps you going on projects like this. I have no passion for making cakes, but I love my kid. You love your fans, and you're creating for them. You love the act of creating, so you're creating for you. And the problems that come up along the way are just the hurdles you have to navigate - they're part of the journey. Never once while I was making this cake did I threaten to quit. I did threaten to throw the cake across the room and start over a couple of times with those blasted studs, but I wasn't about to quit.
Why?
Because my kid matters. Because bringing him joy matters. Because bringing his creation to life matters to me. Showing him you can take an idea and make it a reality is important to me. It's a lesson I want him to learn now, while he's young, so that he can take it with him into the world when he becomes a creative entrepreneur in his own right.
Because the sooner you learn that it's never about you (and yet, it's all about you), the sooner you realize that all the external measures of success don't mean squat. It's only ever been about your fans, and deepening your connection with them. It's only ever been about finding your joy and sharing that joy with the world.
Those studs are the best part of the cake, in my opinion. Because that's where my heart and soul are. That's the part I had to figure out. That's the part that challenged me and gave me an opportunity to grow - not just as a cake maker (God help me), but as a human being. Those studs challenged me to not give up, to keep trying, to figure it out.
I never would have tried so hard if it were just about me. This was for my kid. My fan. So I doubled down. And in the process, I got a tremendous benefit: I learned. I persevered. I created.
Every creative endeavor meets this moment of challenge: do you give up, or keep trying? Do you listen to everyone around you that says your way is wrong ("Use peanut butter cups!" "Use brownies!"), or do you keep trying to figure out the way that will work for you ("But all I have is cake, frosting, and chocolate chips. Hmm, I wonder...")?
Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, and maybe you'll throw it out and start over. But one things for certain: you won't quit until you figure it out. And maybe, just maybe, if you're like most creatives, you'll come up with some clever new way of doing/being/experiencing the world that will inspire your fans and deepen that connection in a way that makes them love you even more.
Isn't that what it means to be a creative anyway?
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If you're looking for a community of creatives that are encouraging each other to step up and keep figuring out the way that will work for who you are, join us in the Accountability Club. Every month we take specific action on goals that moves us closer to our dreams. Only a few spots remain and when they're gone, you'll have to get on the wait list.
Some dreams take a lifetime to come true... especially if you do it all by yourself.
Jim Bishop's dream started when he was 15. For some inexplicable reaason, he found himself drawn to the mountains just above his home in Pueblo, Colorado. One day he found himself staring at a for sale sign on a plot about 2 acres in size.
He had to have it.
He scrimped and saved all summer doing odd jobs and working in his father's ornamental iron shop. He was too young to buy the property himself, so he asked his parents to take his money and buy the land. He spent many summers with his dad on that property. As an adult, he eventually decided to build a stone cottage, using the resources all around him. He cut and milled his own lumber, placed and cemented stones from the property, and as he continued to build, people started asking if he was building a castle.
That gave him the idea to actually build a castle.
No architect's plans... just a vision for one room that grew into two, then more. Then a second level... and turrets... and spires. What started as a stone cottage in his 20's has turned into this glorious castle, which has taken his entire lifetime to build.
What this video fails to tell you is that the ONE man who built this castle, did so by hand over the course of decades. Some people offered to help, but like so many well-meaning people, the help never materialized.
#frustrating
Undaunted, Jim kept plugging away as he was able - on his own - one stone at a time. Jim has touched each stone an average of 6 times as he sized, placed and cemented them during construction. You wouldn't know looking at it that Jim is afraid of heights, would you? The fact that he placed each stone one at a time meant a gradual ascension, which gave him time to get used to the height as he built each layer of stone upon stone.
All these years later, and through the generous donations of recycled and reclaimed materials, there's now a bevy of castle features - including a ballroom, a portcullis and bridge at the entrance, and an ornamental dragon Jim fashioned out of recycled stainless steel and a canister from a hot air balloon.
Bishop Castle is open to the public year round, free of charge (Jim and his wife still live there).
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't build your dreams. You can do it. Even if you have to do it all by yourself, one stone at a time. It may take longer, but if Jim Bishop's work is any indication, you might surprise yourself at just how high you can go - and it will be all the more fantastic when it's complete.
Oh, and yes, the dragon breathes fire, too.
Welcome to Day Two of the Creative Freedom Challenge. You can catch Day One here.
One of the questions I hear a lot from my clients (and one I've asked myself in the past) is "When is it my turn?"
It's a question we often ask when we think we should be further along than we are. I remember when I was first building my online coaching business. There were several colleagues that I watched "zoom ahead of me" in terms of income, reach, and business growth. I looked at what they were doing (some of them were outright stealing from other people), and I got angry. I let my indignant flag fly.
"I'm better than them. How come THEY are seeing all this success and I'm not?"
What I couldn't begin to know was the behind-the-scenes gyrations that these people were going through that would, eventually, be their downfall. One took out a massive second mortgage to pay for events and "coaching" with self-appointed seven-figure gurus - just before the housing market crashed. Her marriage hit the skids and she had to go back to a day job just a few years later. Another rose quickly in the ranks of social media experts and became a sought-after speaker and trainer in her niche... and now she's back at a day job, too.
And I'm still here, doing what I love. I may not yet be as rich and famous as they got to be in their chosen fields, but I also didn't have to sell my soul to be where I am today.
More than likely, you won't be an overnight success. You'll work hard for years, and if you're lucky, it won't feel much like work. Oh, there'll be effort, and ups and downs, and late nights or early mornings sometimes, but you recognize you're building something that's meant to last.
But if you continue to put your hopes and dreams on the back burner, or ignore them altogether, you'll be hard-pressed to find the success you're looking for... simply because you haven't really made it a priority.
That was the error I made for nearly a decade. I was constantly re-prioritizing my career path to "fit in" with the expectations of those close to me. When I had my first five-figure month, I faced an enormous amount of guilt and shame... consequently it was a long time before I had another five figure month. When I had the opportunity to star in two shows back-to-back, I withdrew from the second production because my husband wanted me home with the kids. I didn't even think about hiring a sitter or getting help because I had put his happiness above my own.
I'm done paying that price.
You cut off the options and activities that no longer move you in the directions of your dreams. You walk away from the programs, commitments, projects, and people that are draining your energy and diverting you from the thing that matters most. You get ruthlessly honest with yourself about what really matters.
That's when you begin to feel the success that's been yours all along. Remember success is a destination, and you're already here!
This applies to creative entrepreneurs just as much as people in the corporate world. When a chief executive of a major corporation retires after only a few years, people take notice. Lots of assumptions are made about his health, his qualifications, and the politics of the position. It almost seems unthinkable that the real reason for quitting is because their heart just isn't in it anymore.
When that executive is the Chief Financial Officer at Google, even more people sit up and take notice.
Patrick Pichette is a family guy. He's been married to Tamar for about 25 years, and they have three grown kids - all of whom are on the success track. He's got a lot to be proud of, but Patrick's been a card-carrying member of what he calls the "Fraternity of Worldwide Insecure Over-achievers" and so busy at his day job that he couldn't see what was happening at home.
He was vacationing with his wife (here's a photo of them on Mount Kilimanjaro) when she suggested they extend the vacation and see a few more sites. In Patrick's own words:
"I remember telling Tamar a typical prudent CFO type response- I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It's not time yet, There is still so much to do... so many people counting on me/us."
Tamar refused to play along.
"When is it going to be time? Our time? My time?" she asked him.
Patrick was only 7 years into his tenure as CFO at Google when Tamar dropped this bomb. Tamar was tired of waiting. Tired of being the lower priority. With their children grown, it was the perfect time for them to spend time enjoying each other - before their health and well-being started the typical old-age decline.
"I could not find a good argument," Patrick said, "to tell Tamar we should wait any longer for us to grab our backpacks and hit the road - celebrate our last 25 years together by turning the page and enjoy a perfectly fine mid life crisis full of bliss and beauty, and leave the door open to serendipity for our next leadership opportunities, once our long list of travels and adventures is exhausted."
And with that, Patrick made his announcement to retire and begin the next chapter of his life and Great Work.
Which leads me to today's question:
There will always be this perception that someone is counting on you. That's the nature of being in human relationships. For many people, life becomes a series of negotiations - trading work and family time so that every obligation is met. And you can choose to work and live focused on meeting the obligations, or you can choose to listen to the voice that keeps asking "When is it MY time?"
When will you stop waiting on your dreams? When will they become a real priority for you? When will you stop compromising what's important to you and start showing up to your life and work with an authentic commitment to being YOU - fully and completely?
With Tamar's help, Patrick recognized that there had to be a better way to live and be in the world. He stopped compromising and started doing what worked for him - even if it flew in the face of what "conventional wisdom" said he should do.
In my last post, we talked about how owning your dreams and building your Noble Empire begins with getting clarity. Once you have clarity, you need to make a plan. Patrick didn't just leave Google high and dry. He worked with Google to create a transition plan. That way, the new CFO could get up to speed in a timely manner, and Patrick and Tamar could start plotting the course of their next adventure.
A transition plan gives you a map to help you see the steps you need to take in order to transition away from your day job and into the Great Work of your life. Most entrepreneurs skip this step, and just jump ship - which creates the frustration and anxiety that most new entrepreneurs feel around their creative endeavors. Remember Amy? Her transition took about 3 years, from inkling to finally quitting her day job. But most of that time she was stuck in the Artisan trap... which we'll talk about next time.
Today, begin building a list of things you need to handle to make a transition happen. Take those non-negotiables from yesterday into consideration. Maybe you need to figure out a way to build your Noble Empire without doing a lot of travel - or maybe, like Patrick, you want to travel a LOT. Maybe you need to figure out health, parent, or child care. Maybe you need to figure out your business model or where you'll do this Great Work. Maybe you just need to get some support and accountability to keep you on track. Don't think too hard. Just start building the list.
Creating the list is an exercise in gaining more clarity. And yes, you'll probably hit a wall with some things you don't even know you need to handle. Remember, you're not making the jump right now. I don't even want you to THINK about making a jump or leap of any kind. We're aiming for a smoother transition than that. We're just starting to line things up.
Take it one step at a time. You can do this. I believe in you!
Share your thoughts in the comments and let's be a Rising Tide for everyone! You don't need to sign up or the challenge to participate, but if you want email reminders, or a FREE copy of my Raving Fans Toolkit, you'll want to get on my mailing list here (or use the handy opt-in box above).
Hello dear one!
I have never been a big comic book fan. When I was a kid, I wanted to read "real" books. "serious" books. So comics were not part of the equation. Plus, I have an addictive personality, so that would be one more thing on which to spend money I didn't have.
So this whole resurgence of comic book films has been fun for me - to explore the heroic stories of these legendary heroes (many of which I wasn't remotely familiar with before the films). I'm one of those people comic book purists probably hate: I didn't read the books before I watched the movies.
Oh well.
Before this resurgence, the closest I could identify to a superhero was Wonder Woman - you know, the Lynda Carter version (again, never read the books, y'all!). She was something for my pre-teen, 80's self to look up to. But as an adult, I felt more drawn to action heroes like MacGyver, Jason Bourne, and the like.
Then came Captain America.
I admit, if it hadn't starred Chris Evans, I probably wouldn't have thought twice, but he seems like one of those really nice guys in Hollywood, so I went to check it out.
It just gave me another reason to love Evans. It also gave me a new hero.
One that reminded me of you.
In the movie, Steve starts out as this gangly little weakling of a kid (oh, and did I mention, he's an artist, too?). Through the miracle of "modern" science, he becomes Captain America.
But the core of Steve - that which made Captain America - was there from the beginning.
I was working on Pinterest lately, crafting a branding board for a client project, and came across a pin of this painting:
Here's little Steve, with all his heart, hustle, and commitment to the cause - regardless of his size or stature. He knows the person he's capable of becoming, even if the rest of the world doesn't see it yet.
Then, there's Captain America. He TOWERS over little Steve, yet, he's the same guy. The same heart. The same hustle. The same commitment to his cause, his beliefs, and what really matters in his world.
They are the same, even if the world doesn't always see it that way.
But that is how I see you.
I see you when you show up in your "small" self, just wanting to bust out. Ready to jump on your metaphorical "grenade" to save the lives of the people that matter most to you. I see you striving to be as big and strong as you know how to be. I see your "Captain America-ness" trying to burst out of you.
I see your potential - in all the various ways it can manifest: strong leader, successful business owner, deeply spiritual human, loving spouse and parent. I see your struggle for balance, your desire to win - but win something with meaning. To have a meaningful life, a beautiful living doing what you love in ways that inspire the world.
THAT is how I see you.
You don't need some crazy serum concocted by a mad scientist to get to where you want to be. That's just the window dressing that makes it easier for the world to appreciate who you already are. Steve was Captain America all along. The world just didn't know it yet.
I've seen it. I see it every day. I've lived it. I've had to look my own potential in the eye every day. Sometimes I see Steve. Other days, I'm clearly my own Captain America.
But it's all there, all the time. I know it, because I've lived it.
And I see it so clearly in you.
Thank you for letting me glimpse your awesomeness. Thank you for letting me shine a light so that the world can see your Captain. You have SO much to offer the world - even if the world doesn't get it yet.
I do. And I'm grateful to be part of your journey of awesomeness.
Love always,
-Me
(NOTE: I'm just about finished with the Creative Freedom entrepreneur type quiz. If you're not already on my mailing list, subscribe [in that handy box above] and be the first to get access!)
This summer, I've been channeling my inner crafty woman. I'm a pretty good singer and speaker, but I never really thought of myself as creative - as in making things - until I married a guy who decorates our Christmas tree with origami cranes.
I fiddled around with drawing as a kid - but my cousin was a much better artist. In fact, I could pretty much guarantee that someone I knew was better at any crafty thing than I was.
Turns out, that's part of my Creative Freedom type. I'm a Fusion, which means that I can always find someone more creative, more strategic, and more "better" than me if I look hard enough - but that's because my life is filled with a mix of awesome Chaotic and Linear Creatives, who will always be further along on the spectrum than I am. Fusions, on the other hand, sit right in the middle of the spectrum, which means we can do lots of things other people can't. It's why our analytical friends call us "the creative one" and our creative friends call us "the smart one."
This is just part of what I've been exploring in preparation for the launch of my new book "Creative Freedom." Once I learned I was a Fusion type, it gave me permission to embrace ALL the ways I'm crafty and creative. Finally, a place where I don't have to choose, I can just enjoy being me!
And I made an origami daffodil to prove it! It's my first attempt, and I used a plain sheet of paper instead of origami paper, so it's a little wonky, and I'm proud of it!
There's another reason I'm sharing this daffodil with you, and it has to do with a story that goes back about 20 years. You may have heard of it. It's called "The Daffodil Principle" by the late Jaroldeen Edwards.
But before I get there, let me tell you why I'm sharing this story.
I got an email from a reader who has been struggling with building her Noble Empire because of some stuff she's been dealing with in life: health, money, family... you know.. life stuff. She's a little frustrated and overwhelmed about wanting to be further along on her dream, but also stuck in the reality of where she's at.
Which brings me to the Daffodil story.
Jaroldeen's story is actually about a real garden in Running Springs, CA, designed and planted by Gene Bauer - a lifetime effort spanning more than 50 years. Every fall, at her vacation cabin, Gene would plan and plant each bulb by hand. When she started, she didn't even know which end was up.
Can you relate?
As creative entrepreneurs, sometimes we don't know what direction we're going - let alone if it's the right one or not. But Gene's an example of just showing up, year in and year out, and letting the creation unfold into a life's work. Most people don't know Gene was actually a teacher, and planting daffodils was just an interest, that became a hobby, that became a passion.
This week's video tells the rest of the story - the part that happened after Jaroldeen wrote her story - and I think it's probably even more powerful than the original, because of how the Bauers had to overcome adversity when fires besieged the property. Oh, and if you watch really closely, you'll get a quick glimpse of New Kids on The Block and a young Marky Mark Wahlberg before he got all grown up.
The more I researched the story, the more fascinated I became. That's part of why I learned to make an origami daffodil - since they're out of season right now (you can also make a stem if you'd like). Gene and Dale even compiled a history of the Running Springs property to give people some background on how the 5 acre plot of land came to be in their hands, and ultimately covered with so many varieties of daffodils.
THAT, to me, is what it means to build a Noble Empire.
What small step are you making? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and be part of the Rising Tide. Have a question you'd like to see featured? Hit me up! I love requests!
In my house, there's a never-ending battle that's almost as epic as the fight for the remote control.
The thermostat.
My husband likes it hot. He closes the vent in our room and bundles under at least two blankets even during Summer!
My son likes it cold. If it's warmer than 65, he'll turn the thermostat down to 50 because he thinks that'll make it colder faster.
Me? I like it in "the dead zone" - a comfortable 70-72 degrees. Not too hot, not too cold.
Needless to say, we've had a few arguments about this. In fact, hubby and I are finally switching sides of the bed this week because he's been sleeping closer to the vent (which is why he keeps closing it).
But...even more datstardly than our family fight for the house thermostat is the epic battle that's been going on between my ears for years with my metaphorical "success thermostat".
You may have heard it called an upper limit problem - that's a term Gay Hendricks used in his book "The Big Leap." Like a thermostat, our brains have a "success set-point" that keeps us comfortable. When we get too far below that set-point, we get uncomfortable, and start working to turn up the heat on our success. But I had a cap on what I believed I deserved. My "success ceiling" was a set-point that actually kept me earning poverty-level wages. No joke!
It was as if every time my money situation started improving, or things started going very well for me, invariably something would happen and things would start to fall apart. My success set-point kept trying to cool things off just as I was heating up!
In her book "Overcoming Underearning" Barbara Stanny says that "money is a metaphor" and that "under-earning is a symptom" - specifically a symptom of a lack of self-worth or self-love. It manifests differently for each person, but ultimately, it centers on a success ceiling/upper limit problem around what you think you deserve.
This week's episode of Creative Freedom revels how to know if you're a chronic under-earner, how I discovered my under-earning success ceiling, and how I've worked to eliminate my upper limit problem in my own life. Oh, and you'll hear bits of my U2/Journey mashup from the 300 songs project.
One look at the Symptoms of Underearning from Underearners Anonymous and you'll have a better idea of whether or not your current financial state is because of a conscious choice to live on less, a short-term slump, or a chronic condition that's due to something deeper.
1. See the truth and OWN it. Just like a real thermostat setting, we have to make adjustments if we want to see things change. For most of us, we can't just "flip a switch" and solve the problem. Further, the "temperature" of our situation will most likely change gradually. You can't go from 32 degrees to 70 degrees in a matter of seconds - it takes time to turn up the heat! Decide on your new direction. What's going to change for you? Then commit to it, and be willing to make small (even microscopic) changes as you move toward your new set-point. The smaller the better actually. It might feel more tedious and time consuming, but micro-commitments are more likely to stick and lead to lasting change because they don't activate the fear centers in your brain. It's the fear center that triggers the thermostat to go back to what's "comfortable" - clearly a relative term when it comes to success.
2. Be wary of people who aren't used to your new settings. They will be uncomfortable (so will you). I have a colleague that says "new level, new devil". Remember what I've taught you before - you train people how to treat you based on what you've come to accept from tehm and what they've come to expect from you. Changing your success thermostat means you're changing the expectations. Some people won't like that - get used to it. It happens. The key is to recognize when people are trying to change your settings and stay the course even if things start to get a little (okay, a LOT) uncomfortable.
3. Believe you are worth it and stay vigilant! This is where all the micro commitments make a difference. Trying to re-program your brain to overcome years of unconscious programming ain't easy. When you've believed for decades that you're not capable of achieving a certain level of success, your brain may have difficulty accepting new ideas that seem to fly in the face of that old understanding. You need to keep looking for evidence for the file clerk in your head that says you are capable. Celebrate your wins even if they seem "small" or "insignificant" - the file clerk doesn't judge.
Eventually, the new set-point will feel comfortable. It takes time and patience, but it's totally doable.
Under-earning is one of the most prevalent problems of the creative community. From working for "exposure" to donating our time and offerings to way too many worthy causes, creative entrepreneurs need to reclaim their money making power! If you've overcome an upper-limit problem, we'd love to hear about it! Share your stories in the comments and be part of the Rising Tide community!