In my house, there's a never-ending battle that's almost as epic as the fight for the remote control.
The thermostat.
My husband likes it hot. He closes the vent in our room and bundles under at least two blankets even during Summer!
My son likes it cold. If it's warmer than 65, he'll turn the thermostat down to 50 because he thinks that'll make it colder faster.
Me? I like it in "the dead zone" - a comfortable 70-72 degrees. Not too hot, not too cold.
Needless to say, we've had a few arguments about this. In fact, hubby and I are finally switching sides of the bed this week because he's been sleeping closer to the vent (which is why he keeps closing it).
But...even more datstardly than our family fight for the house thermostat is the epic battle that's been going on between my ears for years with my metaphorical "success thermostat".
You may have heard it called an upper limit problem - that's a term Gay Hendricks used in his book "The Big Leap." Like a thermostat, our brains have a "success set-point" that keeps us comfortable. When we get too far below that set-point, we get uncomfortable, and start working to turn up the heat on our success. But I had a cap on what I believed I deserved. My "success ceiling" was a set-point that actually kept me earning poverty-level wages. No joke!
It was as if every time my money situation started improving, or things started going very well for me, invariably something would happen and things would start to fall apart. My success set-point kept trying to cool things off just as I was heating up!
In her book "Overcoming Underearning" Barbara Stanny says that "money is a metaphor" and that "under-earning is a symptom" - specifically a symptom of a lack of self-worth or self-love. It manifests differently for each person, but ultimately, it centers on a success ceiling/upper limit problem around what you think you deserve.
This week's episode of Creative Freedom revels how to know if you're a chronic under-earner, how I discovered my under-earning success ceiling, and how I've worked to eliminate my upper limit problem in my own life. Oh, and you'll hear bits of my U2/Journey mashup from the 300 songs project.
One look at the Symptoms of Underearning from Underearners Anonymous and you'll have a better idea of whether or not your current financial state is because of a conscious choice to live on less, a short-term slump, or a chronic condition that's due to something deeper.
1. See the truth and OWN it. Just like a real thermostat setting, we have to make adjustments if we want to see things change. For most of us, we can't just "flip a switch" and solve the problem. Further, the "temperature" of our situation will most likely change gradually. You can't go from 32 degrees to 70 degrees in a matter of seconds - it takes time to turn up the heat! Decide on your new direction. What's going to change for you? Then commit to it, and be willing to make small (even microscopic) changes as you move toward your new set-point. The smaller the better actually. It might feel more tedious and time consuming, but micro-commitments are more likely to stick and lead to lasting change because they don't activate the fear centers in your brain. It's the fear center that triggers the thermostat to go back to what's "comfortable" - clearly a relative term when it comes to success.
2. Be wary of people who aren't used to your new settings. They will be uncomfortable (so will you). I have a colleague that says "new level, new devil". Remember what I've taught you before - you train people how to treat you based on what you've come to accept from tehm and what they've come to expect from you. Changing your success thermostat means you're changing the expectations. Some people won't like that - get used to it. It happens. The key is to recognize when people are trying to change your settings and stay the course even if things start to get a little (okay, a LOT) uncomfortable.
3. Believe you are worth it and stay vigilant! This is where all the micro commitments make a difference. Trying to re-program your brain to overcome years of unconscious programming ain't easy. When you've believed for decades that you're not capable of achieving a certain level of success, your brain may have difficulty accepting new ideas that seem to fly in the face of that old understanding. You need to keep looking for evidence for the file clerk in your head that says you are capable. Celebrate your wins even if they seem "small" or "insignificant" - the file clerk doesn't judge.
Eventually, the new set-point will feel comfortable. It takes time and patience, but it's totally doable.
Under-earning is one of the most prevalent problems of the creative community. From working for "exposure" to donating our time and offerings to way too many worthy causes, creative entrepreneurs need to reclaim their money making power! If you've overcome an upper-limit problem, we'd love to hear about it! Share your stories in the comments and be part of the Rising Tide community!
A couple of weeks ago we started the studio/office rearrange when the new lighting came. I still haven't been able to fit everything in, but this new video gives you an idea of where we're heading.
It's also the start of a new format for the weekly songs. I wanted to do something that was a little more inspirational AND educational, so that they didn't just come across as a bunch of cover tunes for no apparent reason. When I started the 300 songs project, it was about getting practice and learning how to operate the equipment in the studio. Over time, however, I've been blessed to have built a cozy following of people who actually enjoy watching the videos, not just listening to the rehearsal concepts.
We've even done a couple of virtual concerts featuring some of those tunes. During those shows, I always try to tie the songs back to an important moment in my journey or a "teachable moment" of some sort, because I believe that music can be educational as well as inspirational (remind me to tell you how the music of Billy Joel helped me win the city quiz bowl tournament in high school).
To that end, I'm launching this new format featuring the song "Hide" made popular by Joy Williams. Whenever I feel "not enough" in any respect, this song kicks my butt and reminds me I'm awesome. I hope it does the same for you. If nothing else, you'll get to see a rare moment of me wearing makeup!
You don't have to hide!
It's time for you to shine and show the world how awesome YOU really are. (Click to tweet)
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We're posting this week's song a day early because tomorrow is our live online show - streaming straight into your living room. Need tickets? You can pick them up here.
As a proud subscriber to Netflix, I managed to spend a good portion of this year binge watching "Leverage". I'd seen part of an episode on TV a few years ago, but it wasn't until I hunkered down for a marathon that I got into it.
Among the cast was this badass, Christian Kane, who just happened to be a singer, too. Of course, I was curious, and later became hooked.
I managed to pick up a copy of his album when he re-released it to his fans early this year. There are a couple of tunes on the disc that really deserved wider airplay, and this one - "The House Rules" - managed to get some traction on country radio.
I knew that if we ever did a concert at my place (like, this Sunday's livestream, for example), I'd want it for my opening number. I made a small lyric change so the tune would fit my show, and Des, of course, gave me a rockin' blues arrangement. Here's our first run-through after Des got the thing transcribed to a sticky note.
I love that we were able to take a country tune and bring it to a wider audience. I hope you guys love it as much as I do.
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It took Bart Howard well over 20 years.
Bart was a piano player in the Blue Angel cabaret, working on his own music, in the hopes of one day working with his idol, Cole Porter.
Most musicians know the name Cole Porter. Very few know the name Bart Howard. But this one song is his legacy.
Bart wrote dozens of tunes, but none were as popular as "Fly Me To The Moon".
Bart was asked by a publisher for something simple, and in 20 minutes he cranked out this cabaret waltz. The publisher asked him to change the lyrics, but Bart refused - a move that could have jeopardized his opportunity to have this song produced. But Bart held his ground on his song. Since then, "Fly Me To The Moon" has been covered, re-arranged, and even had the time signature changed when Quincy Jones arranged a version for Frank Sinatra.
Originally titled "In Other Words," Peggy Lee recorded and later performed the song on national television. As it grew in popularity, Peggy convinced Bart to change the name to it's well known opening line.
For Bart, it was this song. The success of "Fly Me To The Moon" was such that he continued to live off the residuals of that one song for the rest of his life. It's considered a "Towering Song" in the history of contemporary popular music. In 2004, 50 years from when he wrote that tune, Bart died.
This week's song is a request from @PattyKogutek on Twitter. Thanks, Patty! It was a joy to learn this story and be able to share it with everyone.
Just one step. Just one song. Just one moment. That's all it takes to make history. What will you do?
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On the heels of last week's post about Comparison-itis, I was driving in the car with Hubby yesterday and this tune came on the radio. It reminded me that nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes, and that's how we learn.
Have you been beating yourself up because you're not perfect? This catchy little tune might help. 🙂
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This song was recorded before I left town for the Pink Papaya national conference. It was a song I'd heard a couple of years ago
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(more…)You can see all the songs I've been working on for my #300songs project here. I've got a goal of 200 subscribers to my YouTube channel by the end of March. Can you help? Subscribe and help spread the word!
This week, I spent a lot of time rehearsing songs from the 1980's. This one is STILL a popular tune at my local karaoke hangouts. I secretly think we're all still trying to re-live the 80's.
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This week marks the last video of the month, and since this is the month of love songs, I figured I'd end on a psychotic note - hee hee.
"Every Breath You Take" was penned by Sting in less than an hour, and the rest of The Police then added their own unique touches to make this one of the most popular songs when it was released in 1983. The original music video even won awards (unlike this one).
Oh, and yes, I really did ask my son to pelt me with snowballs for this video. Enjoy!
