A client came to our session recently, looking a little defeated.
She said she was feeling guilty — guilty for not doing enough in her business since our last session.
She said, “It feels like I’ve just been playing catch-up.”
Then she rattled off what the past few months had looked like:
She got married.
Found out she was pregnant.
Lost the baby.
Started adjusting her mental health meds.
Took on a part-time job to pay down wedding debt.
And that was on top of all the usual “life stuff” we all manage — family, house, errands, obligations.
Still, she said, “My brain keeps telling me that if I just put more time into my business, everything else will get better.”
Then she started listing all the things her brain claimed would “be fixed” if she could just hustle harder.
That’s when I had to stop her.
“Your brain is lying to you,” I said.
There’s a subtle but powerful difference between feeling like you’re behind and actually being behind.
In her case, it wasn’t perception — it was reality.
She’d experienced a cascade of major life changes that completely derailed her rhythm.
No amount of mindset work can erase that truth, and pretending otherwise only adds pressure to an already overloaded system.
So first, we named it.
“You really are playing catch-up,” I told her.
“Your business has taken a backseat to some major life events, and that’s not failure — that’s doing what you can as you are able.”
When we try to bulldoze through those moments, we ignore the natural capacity shifts that life demands. You can’t hold the same pace when your body, mind, and emotions are in flux.
You’re not broken; you’re recalibrating.
That reframe alone softened her whole body. She exhaled — like she finally had permission to stop fighting reality.
Then we tackled the next lie:
The one that says if you just put in more time, everything will get better.
This is the lie our culture rewards — the “just work harder” myth.
It’s baked into entrepreneurship and productivity culture.
But here’s the truth: You don’t know that more effort will fix anything.
You can’t be sure that spending another five, ten, or fifteen hours a week on your business will repair what feels off in your life. That’s an assumption your brain is presenting as fact because it’s trying to regain a sense of control.
Brains love control. They crave certainty. So much so, that they'll go about making up stories that feel like facts. There's research on something called Intolerance of Uncertainty that indicates our brains will go out of the way to avoid any form of uncertainty. Some groups of people have higher IU than others.
So, when uncertainty (chaos) increases, people with higher IU are more likely to experience emotional distress, engage in worry, and seek mental “structures” to reduce ambiguity.
Essentially, your brain tries to make order out of chaos when there may not be any order to find!
One study found that greater perceived control over stressors on a given day predicted higher odds of resolving those stressors later. That suggests that your brain’s craving for control isn’t just psychological fluff - it connects to how effectively you navigate challenges.
So when your life feels chaotic (especially if you have high IU), your mind may start constructing tidy equations:
“If I just do X, Y will improve.”
“If I work harder, I’ll feel better.”
“If I push now, I’ll finally catch up.”
Except… those equations aren't always accurate and rarely hold up in real life.
Instead of arguing with her brain, I invited her to run an experiment.
I said, “Let’s test your brain’s hypothesis.”
Here’s how we designed it:
The goal wasn’t to do more.
The goal was to gather evidence — to prove or disprove her brain’s theory.
That experiment gave her something she hadn’t had in weeks: agency.
Instead of spinning in guilt and overwhelm, she had a structure for clarity. A real, effective structure that wasn't based on some illusion in her mind.
She could now see herself as a scientist studying her own capacity, not a failure scrambling to “catch up.”
Once she stopped trying to fix everything through effort, we turned to the practical side.
She’d taken that part-time job to help pay down debt from the wedding. It made sense — but it also ate into her time and energy.
So we reframed that too.
I invited her to do that math and know when her extra income would pay off the debt completely.
We called it her Freedom Date.
From that moment on, every dollar she earned wasn’t just money.
It was pay toward freedom.
That one change transformed how she viewed her part-time work.
It wasn’t a punishment for falling behind; it was a strategic bridge to the next chapter of her life and work.
If you’re a business owner — especially one juggling multiple roles, responsibilities, and emotional realities — you’ve probably heard your brain whisper the same lies:
“You should be further along.”
“If you just worked harder, you’d feel better.”
“Other people are doing more.”And you’ve probably believed them, at least a little.
But your brain isn’t always a reliable narrator.
It’s wired for efficiency, not accuracy.
When life feels overwhelming, your mind will default to the simplest-seeming solution: do more.
Yet sustainable growth doesn’t come from doing more; it comes from designing your business around your actual capacity, not your idealized one.
It comes from testing what’s true, not assuming it.
That’s what capacity-aligned business design is really about: creating evidence-based clarity around what works for you, in this season of life, with the energy and resources you actually have.
If your brain has been telling you that “more” is the answer, try this instead:
Run your own experiment.
You might discover that less effort leads to more stability, that structure brings freedom, and that your business doesn’t grow when you push harder — it grows when you design for your truth.
Because sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop believing everything your brain tells you.
Doors to my latest workshop will open soon. Conditions For Success: The 7 Domains That Shape Sustainable Growth is free for all Rising Tide members. Not a member? That's also free (for now). Get signed up and be the first to learn more!
I was sitting at my desk, doing my "usual" routine - the seemingly endless loop of "productive" things like email, writing, researching.
Yet, I couldn't shake this restless thought, pounding in my head:
“Is THIS what it's all come to in 50 years on planet earth?”
This year has been a wild ride, to say the least. Choosing to leave Indiana. Packing everything that would fit in a 5x7 storage pod (and selling or donating everything else) to come about 2,000 miles to the other side of the continent. Navigating my husband's health: 4 heart procedures, a neck injury, a diagnosis of and surgery for thyroid cancer, all in less than 6 months' time.
Oh... and I was supposed to be running my business, too?
Something had to change. I felt like I was living under a rock and I was pretty sure everyone was slowly losing interest in anything I had done or would be doing in the future.
Momentum matters. It's what keeps the "marketing machine" moving along. When you lose momentum, or can't capitalize on it when you've got it, things stall, slow down, and you basically have to start all over again.
Or at least it sure feels that way.
Sure, there's that old saw about how people learn by watching you. So there's some truth to the idea that visibility and influence are connected, but visibility for visibility's sake keeps leaders performing for appearances - draining energy, and losing trust in themselves and their teams.
When people believe visibility is leadership, you see things like:
With the rise of influencer culture, this is an easy trap to fall into.
I've been doing deeper work on what I call your Conditions For Success. It's a topic I've touched on in planning workshops over the years. When you know the conditions that set you up for success, it gives you more power to create or establish those conditions for yourself in an intentional way.
Your Conditions for Success aren’t just about energy, tools, or mindset—they include the world you choose to live and work in. Sometimes, the smartest move isn’t more effort, it’s moving toward contexts that naturally amplify your zone of genius or your ability to find success for yourself or your work.
And while I understand that not everyone has the ability to just up and leave where they are for more favorable conditions, the awareness that a better environment may exist is still important.
But in all my time researching and teaching, I missed something critical: identity alignment—how your internal sense of self matches how you act in work, relationships, and decisions (or doesn't). I'm fixing that now, by looking at why people who don't experience success may actually be grappling with Identity issues that we'd never considered before. Call it my own bias, or ignorance, this new research has helped me see just how important our sense of identity is in our sense of accomplishment and feelings of success.
I've known plenty of folks, and heard a number of stories about people who have wealth, power, prestige - all the outward trappings of success - yet they still feel miserable and unsuccessful. It seems obvious now that these folks were some how out of alignment, but I didn't get that it might be an identity issue. Checking all the boxes of "visible" success doesn't always equate to feeling successful or having an experience of success. I never realized that folks who weren't seeing that visible level of success may also be having a similar struggle.
If you're a leader who's stuck on "performance at all costs" you're running up against energetic, ethical, relational, and operational tensions that are likely to break you. You probably feel like you've got to be "on" all the time - or the house of cards will crumble. The research confirms what we already know: high stakes + high pressure + long hours leads to emotional exhaustion, reduced cognitive clarity, and eventually, burnout.
Let me be clear: wearing masks to get through a tough spot in your life or work can be useful. It's not always safe for you to be yourself, out loud an on purpose - especially if you're in an marginalized identity group.
Putting on a happy face when you are going through it can keep your clients or team members from unnecessary worry. But when your internal sense of self is misaligned with your external actions (especially if it's a chronic, continuous state of affairs), it can lead to:
When you can show up and get to be your full self (warts, sparkles, and all, as I like to say), you’re more likely to experience:
There's a TON of research to support this. Research also shows that being able to be your authentic self helps you lead your team members more effectively. But if you focus too much on short-term gains, and less on the long-term well-being of everyone (you, the team, the company), trust erodes and burnout sets in.
I get it. In our current political climate, there are a lot of short-term, immediate fires that need putting out. It's really hard to think about the long-term effects of anything when federal agents descend on your neighborhood and/or start rounding up folks who look like you.
The key is to strike the balance between your immediate need and the long-term vision you have in mind.
It's easy to forget. I sure did.
I was SO focused on getting moved, getting settled, making sure that my partner was healthy, that I had all I could do to see clients, never mind the other demands of my business! I managed to compete season 8 of Creative Freedom and have been faithful in filming for the reality show I'm working on, but there hasn't been much more than that going on for a while because of, well... (gestures wildly through the air) all this "life" that's been happening!
By tuning into identity alignment, you take a first step toward:
When you're out of alignment, trust drops. One look at the political landscape today and you see what I mean.
In a spring 2025 survey by the Partnership for Public Service, only one-third of Americans (33%) said they trust the federal government. Nearly half (47%) said they do not trust it. Further, two-thirds of Americans (67%) believed the federal government was corrupt, and 61% saw it as wasteful. A May 2024 Pew Research Center poll showed similarly low figures, with only 22% of adults trusting the government to do what is right most of the time. An August 2025 U.S. News & World Report survey found that 85% of Americans believe politicians and community leaders care more about their own power than the public's interest.
An article out of Cambridge revealed that When leaders don’t align what they say (visible leadership) and what they do, perceived authenticity and trust drop. This one from ScienceDirect says that your team (your audience) can smell the hypocrisy a mile away. You're not fooling anyone when you're being performative - at least, not for long.
I'd go a step further to say it's not just with your audience, but also with yourself. This sense of self-betrayal leads you to stop believing yourself, second-guessing yourself, and eventually, just giving up on yourself... and your dreams.
Ouch.
When I'm working with clients, we use a 4-step process:
Inside Conditions for Success, the Core Domain is the one that deals with your sense of purpose and identity. These are the things we have the most control over. Notice I didn't say TOTAL control over. We can decide how we want to show up in the world and who we want to be. We can seek to align our identity and purpose in the world in ways that others have little to no direct control over. But we are interacting in the world, and we have commitments, obligations, and identities that are not always going to be aligned with what predominant culture is asking of us. It's then that we have to make choices about where we will or won't compromise.
Those compromises are what set us up to potentially be out of alignment. Again, that's not to say all compromises are bad or wrong - very often they are survival skills. But it's unsustainable to LIVE that way for very long.
If the decision leads to confusion, skepticism, or dissonance in your relationships or team, it might not be truly aligned - or you may have been wearing a mask for so long that people around you don't know how to deal with this "new you". Here are some questions you can use to prime the pump:
“Does this choice come from my core values, or is it a reaction to others’ expectations?"
If you feel a sense of resistance, that’s probably a signal that something is off.
“Would I stand by this choice if someone asked me why I made it?”
If you find yourself holding back explanation or feeling defensive, that’s a red flag.
“Did I consider diverse perspectives, especially dissenting ones, before deciding?”
If you ignored feedback or dismissed counterarguments lightly, the choice may not be fully authentic.
"Am I aware of my motives, strengths, and limitations in this decision?”
If your decision feels reactive, emotionally heavy, or clouded by fear rather than clarity, that’s a sign to pause.
“Will this decision stand when pressures increase?”
If the decision only “works” now but collapses under stress, it may be more performative than authentic.
“Does this choice build or erode trust in me (internally or among others)?”
Because authentic leaders act in line with who they are, their followers tend to see that consistency, which builds trust (source).
When you're looking more closely at your identity, try these:
Journal Freely: Let thoughts and feelings flow without judgment.
You'll start to reveal patterns in your energy, decisions, and relationships. Over time, it can show where alignment is strong—and where external pressures may be pulling you off-center.
The goal is to keep moving closer to your truth. As I said before, total control - perfection is impossible unless you live in a vacuum. But striving for alignment helps you feel more successful in the moment. As I've said many times before, success is a destination and you're already there!
Conditions For Success is a topic I've touched on in planning workshops over the years. It was inspired by a quote attributed to the Irish poet of the Victorian age, Oscar Wilde:
"Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result."
When I saw it, I felt this desire to prove or disprove the notion.
I mean, really? Can it be THAT easy?
In nature, we can see that some seeds bloom and grow while others - from the same plant - won't. We easily say "well, the conditions weren't right for the seed to grow."
Can this also apply to humans?
Apparently, yes... with an asterisk.
For years, I've led planning workshops and retreats where I've asked clients to consider their conditions for success in a generic way. Maybe they do their best work when they've had a cup of coffee first thing in the morning, or if they get to bed by 9pm and get eight hours of sleep. The focus was on things that were obvious and apparent - things they could control.
The logic being that when you know the conditions that set you up for success, it gives you more power to create or establish those conditions for yourself in an intentional way.
Some clients were able to take this rather generic assessment and run with it, while others still met challenges that made it difficult, if not impossible for them to create conditions that allowed them to thrive.
That's when I started thinking there might be something deeper at play. In our imperfect world, there are downright hostile conditions that make it impossible for almost anyone to thrive. And yet, there are a handful of people who can manage even despite those conditions.
There's a lot of "Darwinian, survival-of-the-fittest-type stuff" that's been baked into our world. Our culture, our communities. It's why we see the deep need for accessibility legislation and other resources to help people that are NOT optimized to function under those conditions to at least get by (or subsist, as is the case in many places where unaffordable housing is the rule, not the exception).
As I became more aware of these systemic issues, I recognized that there are some conditions we can control or influence, and others that we can't - at least, not at the individual level.
Turns out, your Conditions for Success aren’t just about energy, tools, or mindset—they include the world you choose to live and work in. Sometimes, the smartest move isn’t more effort, it’s moving toward contexts that naturally amplify your zone of genius or your ability to find success for yourself or your work.
In my exploration and research, I've identified 7 domains of influence that range from the highly personal (that we can control) to the more global (where we have minimal individual influence).
This helped me see where things were falling short with my clients' Conditions for Success. When you're in a Macro domain where the deck's stacked against you, it's a much harder slog. You can do everything "right" in your Core and Personal Domains, and still struggle more than someone who is operating in a Macro Domain that offers them more favorable conditions.
That's not to say that those personal things don't matter in those cases. In fact, they are even more important! While I'll stop short of saying you can create your own parallel society, I will say that the more aligned you can be with your personal Conditions For Success, the less friction there is for you to deal with. If you don't have to fight your Core or Personal Domains, that's less friction in your day-to-day. If there's less friction, that energy's freed up so that you can use your spoons to deal with the bigger, systemic conditions that are out of alignment.
Will it solve every problem? No. But the goal is minimal friction, not a problem-free existence. I'm not sure anyone can promise that!
Consider where you might be out of alignment. What's one small step you can take this week, today, right now even, to improve your Conditions for Success?
I've been looking for reminders lately.
Things that remind me who I really am... who I really WANT to be in the world.
That happens sometimes when you start questioning everything. When everything starts to feel unsteady, uncertain, unsure.
Two things from my annual Creative Freedom retreat this year keep coming back to me.
The SWOT Analysis - where several folks listed the outcome of this year's election as a potential threat to their business - and the reminder I shared with everyone on repeat:
Remember who you are.
When the world is off-kilter, dangerous, and hard to take...
Remember who you are.
Stand moored. Resolute in what it is that you stand for, what you believe in, and what you're about in this world.
Remember who you are.
Don't let the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" take you out of the race.
Remember who you are.
Gird your loins, light your torch.
Remember who you are.
Mount your horse, draw your bow, raise your shield.
Remember who you are.
Sing your song. Create your art. Dance your dance. Speak your mind.
Remember who you are.
Protect your peace. Honor your boundaries. Rest. Then RISE.
Remember who you are.
Don't let the bastards get you down.
Remember who you are.
I wasn't trying to wax poetic when I started this. I was actually trying to get you to think more about who you are. What YOU stand for. What you WON'T stand for. Where do you draw those lines in the sand?
Believe it or not, those are important questions for your business, too. I'll share more tomorrow, but for now...
Remember who you are.
Ready to break free from the ordinary and tap into your magical potential?
In the latest episode of the Creative Freedom Show, we're diving deep into the world of Undervalued Unicorns - those extraordinary creatives who are making waves but still flying under the radar.
Does that sound like you? Then you might be an Undervalued Unicorn. Tune in to the podcast and learn how to EMBRACE your inner Unicorn and STOP being Undervalued.
In this episode, we are talking about:
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Theme music: “Big Time” by Ikoliks, Artlist.io
My husband and I were talking about the movie Grease the other day. While I was conjuring up lyrics from "You're The One That I Want", Jim piped up and said, "The moral of that story is that you've got to change yourself if you want a man."
I was not seeing it. I mean, he's right that you shouldn't have to change yourself in order to be with someone you care about, but was that really what was going on with Sandy? Or was she finally letting herself be more of the person she wanted to be?
Throughout the movie, Sandy was this buttoned up bobby sockser - watching everyone around her living their lives out loud, while clutching her pearls and saying "I couldn't possibly!" at everything going on. Rizzo and the other Pink Ladies tried to get her "Sandra Dee" to loosen up, but she was too scared and possibly ashamed to do anything about it. Until that drag race showed her what she was missing out on by staying buttoned up.
Let me be clear: there's nothing wrong with being a "Sandra Dee" type - if that's who you really want to be. But you could tell, at the dance, that there was more to Sandy than the buttoned-up persona she had been sharing with the world. She liked being in the spotlight and was miffed when Cha-Cha pulled Danny away from her and won the competition.
Once she got over herself, her next evolution was a more confident, fun-loving person. Yes, she stepped awkwardly at first, but it was someone she WANTED to be. Not something she HAD to do. Sandy chose a path that worked for her and finally let the rest of the world see more of who she really was.
If you ever feel like your brand isn't doing a good job of telling the world who you are - or that you're being ignored by your ideal clients and customers, you might still be trying to show the world your "Sandra Dee" self, when you've actually evolved into a stronger, more charismatic leader. It's time to step out and shine!
Your brand is more than just a logo or a tagline. Your brand is the total experience that your customers have with your business, from the way you communicate to the quality of your products or services. It's the emotional connection that you build with your audience, and it's what sets you apart from your competitors.
So, if you're talking one way when you show up in person and your visual brand or marketing copy doesn't match, there's a disconnect that your right audience won't take the time to figure out. They'll just shrug their shoulders and move on. A confused mind says "no" - or at least, that's what I was taught decades ago when I started my online marketing journey. If your brand isn't feeling like you anymore (or maybe it never really did), then it's time for a tune up!
How do you go about building a brand that truly reflects your personality, voice, and style, and connects with your ideal clients and customers?
Clients hire me when things get out of alignment. The first place I look is their business model. You've heard me talk before about the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation: (You + Why + Who) + What + How. Every business needs a model that works, which is why I love this Equation so much. It's flexible and adaptable to any situation.
But how do you put this into practice?
Take a cue from Dolly Parton, another famous blonde from musical history. She's a true master of her brand and an undisputed celebrity in her niche. Dolly has built a brand and a business empire that reflects her personality, voice, and style, and has connected deeply with her fans for decades. Her music, fashion, philanthropy, and overall persona have all contributed to her success and enduring popularity. Dolly's unique style and personality have made her a beloved icon for decades. But beyond her music and fashion, what makes her so successful?
Using the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation, let's analyze Dolly's business model!
Know Yourself
The Equation begins with the importance of knowing yourself in order to connect with your ideal customers.
Dolly knows herself. She has a strong sense of self. She embraces her roots and values, and incorporates them into everything she does. She has never been afraid to embrace her unique style and persona. From her flamboyant stage outfits to her signature blonde hair and southern drawl, Dolly has created a persona that is instantly recognizable and beloved by her fans.
Understand Why You Do What You Do
Dolly's "why" is to spread joy and uplift others, which she does through her music, books, and philanthropic work. She's no Pollyanna. She's not afraid to talk about painful things, but she's also quick to look to the sunny side. Dolly has a deep connection and commitment to her audience. She's been open and honest with her fans, sharing personal stories and experiences that resonate with people on a deeply emotional level. Dolly makes it clear that she cares deeply about her fans and wants to make a positive impact on the world.
Your brand should be a reflection of who you are as a person and what you stand for. Don't try to be something you're not just because you think it will be more marketable or popular. Authenticity is key, and your audience will be able to sense if you're not being genuine.
You need to know what you stand for. Take some time to define your brand values – the principles and beliefs that guide everything you do. Then, SHARE them with your audience! These values are the foundation of your brand and can help you stay true to your authentic self.
Who Needs You Most?
To create a brand that resonates with your ideal clients and customers, you need to know who they are. What are their needs, desires, and pain points? What do they value? What motivates them? What kind of language and tone do they respond to? Once you have a clear understanding of your audience, you can tailor your brand messaging and marketing materials to speak directly to them.
Dolly understands that her fans value her sincerity, so she speaks from the heart - and isn't afraid to share hardship and poke fun at herself! She also knows how to adapt and stay relevant without compromising her values, such as when she collaborated with EDM artist Galantis on a remix of her hit song "Faith."
Your brand should tell a story – the story of who you are, what you stand for, and how you can help your audience. Use your brand messaging and marketing materials to share your personal journey and connect with your audience on an emotional level.
What Are You Selling? How do you deliver it?
This isn't just about your product, but the deeper benefits your audience gets from experiencing your work. Dolly is a singer and songwriter, so she's selling stories - in musical or written form. But what Dolly actually sells (the deeper benefit) is joy, connection, belonging, and hope. Whether it's music, Dollywood, OR any of the other "offers" that Dolly has for sale, the ultimate goal is the same - to put a smile in your heart and make the world a better place.
Dolly knows how to deliver her message to her audience. Her infectious personality and magnetic charisma make her a natural performer, and her business savvy has helped her build an empire that includes Dollywood theme park and her own record label, and numerous projects for film and television. Dolly has created a brand that has wide reach. And while she delivers it to you in a variety of ways, the "what" that Dolly delivers is the same every time.
Don't be afraid to let your personality shine through in your brand. Embrace your quirks and unique traits – they're what make you stand out from the crowd. Whether it's a love of 80's musicals, country music, a passion for hiking, or a quirky sense of humor, incorporating your personal interests and hobbies into your brand can help you connect with your audience on a deeper level.
Consistency is key when it comes to building a strong, authentic brand. Your messaging, visuals, and overall tone should be consistent across all your marketing channels, from your website to your social media accounts. Use the same color scheme, fonts, and tone of voice to create a cohesive brand identity that's instantly recognizable. Make sure they reflect the current you - not who you were 10 years ago! If it's time for an upgrade or update, talk to a brand design professional who can help your materials better reflect your awesomeness.
Building a successful business isn't just about branding - it's about having a solid business model that supports your unique strengths and skills. That's why we invite you to join us at our Cashflow Creator Workshop, where we'll dive deeper into the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation and help you create a business model that works for how you're wired to work. Register now to secure your spot and take the next step towards building a business that aligns with your values and goals!
Remember, building a brand takes time and effort. But with the right Equation - and a little inspiration from Sandy and Dolly - you can create a brand that has your fans singing "You're the one that I want!"
If you've ever read my book The Secret Watch, then you probably also know that the story was inspired by my own encounter with a woman on a plane. She told me that I'd write a book about a magic watch that revealed special secrets and it would become a best seller.
I did... and it did!
As I wrote the book, I imagined how my life might be different if magic watches were real. If I could just pop open a pocket watch and be inspired by a new inscription every day, would I be able to make the most of it like my character, Tina, did? That's actually how our virtual coaching card deck came to be!
While I have yet to find a real secret watch (unfortunately), I'm lucky that I don't have to wait around to find inspiration. I create my own inspiration every year with my annual goals.
Yeah. I hear you. They're often overdone at the beginning of the year. But by February, according to a 2020 survey, about 30% of folks see their well-intended goals fall by the wayside. Since I gave you my Annual Review rundown earlier in the month, I thought it might also be valuable for you to see what I'm driving toward this year.
You know, besides more ease.
To be clear, this isn't about having you hold me accountable. My past experience has shown that sharing my goals with you will not help me stay accountable. That's not how I'm wired.
There have been too many times in my non-normative life where that kind of "accountability" put too much pressure on me to perform - and then, I'd either choke, end up stressing myself out, or resent the entire thing. Sometimes all three.
Like when all those internet marketing gurus were trying to convince you to sell something before you built it - and then you just "build the plane as you fly it." It might work for some folks, but not me.
There have been too many times in my non-normative life where that kind of "accountability" put too much pressure on me to perform - and then, I'd either choke, end up stressing myself out, or resent the entire thing. Sometimes all three. Plus, people often have their own thoughts and opinions about my goals.
Frankly, ain't nobody got time for that!
But I do believe in being transparent. Whether or not I hit my goals is up to me, not you. But transparency is a way to model for you - to see what I am doing and see how you can apply my approach to your own situation. As a business coach, I help my clients set and achieve goals for themselves. To be in integrity and "walk my talk", I think it's only fair to share my goals with you. I've used the Dreamblazing tool to define what success looks like for me for almost 15 years now. Some years, I hit them all, and most years I fall short in at least one, but that's how I expect things to go because I aim pretty high.
Your mileage may vary, but by seeing my thought process, it might spark something for you. THAT is the reason I'm sharing my goals with you.
So, based on the 5 key areas of success, here are my 2023 goals, in priority order:
My Freedom Goal is my number one priority. I am a hard worker. I was raised with a strong work ethic and a deep programming that the only way for me to break out of the poverty I was born into was to work. like. hell.
So I know what hard work looks like and I know how to do it. I don't need anymore practice.
That's not to say that there won't be times when I need to hustle a little. But that's what I call compassionate hustle. I can't live and work on the hamster wheel.
What's more, I don't want to.
So that means finding ease. Not working for it, figuring it out, or struggling/striving/stressing about it.
That is not the way of ease.
It looks like asking myself "What's the easier path?" and honoring that awareness.
But what's the easier path? To struggle and fight and strain and stress, or to enjoy where I'm at right now and see where the road takes me?
In Dreamblazing, you set two goals for the Key Area of Fitness: one for your physical container and one for what's contained within it. This is my inside the container goal.
My personal history has been more body shame than body confidence. I've had major surgeries 2 years in a row and that really knocked me on my heels and had me feeling like my body was betraying me - as if that could even be a thing! I knew that I needed to adjust my attitude and rekindle an appreciation for who I am inside and out.
I'm lucky as hell that my current husband makes a point of telling me he loves how I look. I didn't get that much in my first marriage. It's been a growth edge for me to really hear, receive, and believe that feedback. I'm still working on it.
But what's the easier path? To struggle and fight and strain and stress, or to enjoy where I'm at right now and see where the road takes me?
Right. So, I'm all about enjoying the journey this year... wherever it takes me.
If I had listened to them, I never would have written 2 best sellers or recorded 3 albums - or any of a number of other things I wanted to do with my life that I was told was "too much" for a kid who was born in the ghetto.
Chosen family is a big part of how I manage to keep my shit together. I love my birth family, but they are distant, and most of them rarely ever talk to me. That road runs both ways. I rarely ever talk to them. Growing up, I didn't feel like I had much support from them - they didn't understand my goals or dreams, and thought I was aiming too high.
If I had listened to them, I never would have written 2 best sellers or recorded 3 albums - or any of a number of other things I wanted to do with my life that I was told was "too much" for a kid who was born in the ghetto.
This year is about deepening connections and cultivating a community of folks who get me. Surrounding myself with encouragers who believe in who I am and what I'm up to in the world - who want to see me succeed and want to be part of making that happen in some way.
I've been part of an international women's networking group for several years, and have been lax about connecting with members. Although I have a few friends in that community, I've not been great about maintaining connections. That needs to change, if for no other reason than there are some pretty amazing people there and it would be cool to have more friendships with people like that.
Jane Fonda said in a recent interview that "you have to pursue people that you want to be friends with." I've never been a pursuer. More like "if you build it, they will come." Which is hysterical when you realize the irony. So, like Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane, I'mma be in hot pursuit this year.
This is both an invitation for me to follow my own success path and to come out of hiding. That's another reason why I'm sharing these goals with you: coming out of hiding.
I've done a lot of hiding since I moved to Mississippi. It's easy to cocoon when you're in a rural town where nobody knows your name and there's nothing doing because a global pandemic has shut nearly everything down. Then there was a wedding, surgery, a move (we bought a house), another move (back to Nashville), more surgery, and yet another move last year to Bloomington, Indiana.
All that movement made it easy to lose myself in the details of those moments. To start to identify myself by those moments (or the results of those moments), instead of being intentional about the life and body of work I want to have/create for myself.
When you shine, it's either because you're emitting or reflecting light. I realized that I wasn't really doing either - and I want to do both.
To shine my own light through my body of work but, also, to share the light of others in my world. My clients are mystical, magical Unicorns. They are smart and brilliantly gifted. I want more people in the world to know about them!
When you shine, it's either because you're emitting or reflecting light. I realized that I wasn't really doing either - and I want to do both.
That means more video, another live event, and monthly live workshops for my clients. I'm also going back to doing more video and having more guests on the show. That was a hard step for me to take because I am so leery about who I share with my audience. A lot of people look good on paper, and then they open their mouth and it's trash. I care about my audience too much... and my reputation. So adding guests will be slow going, and mostly from people I've either already worked with (like my interview with Dr. Mazur), or folks I know and trust in other ways. All the more reason I need to connect to more people!
This is the goal related to my physical container. I've had major surgery two years in a row that stem from life-long health issues. My doctors and physical therapists have given me specific instructions that I intend on following. Some of them are easier than others. The hardest one is being up and moving 15 minutes for every hour that I'm awake - that's 2-4 hours of movement every day. That's not necessarily exercise, but it is getting up and moving around. Thankfully, walking around the house, putting away dishes, and doing laundry all count toward that activity goal.
But it's still a huge adjustment to my daily routine. It gives me about 5 hours of useful worktime, and I can't sit for more than a couple of hours at a time. Really, 45 minutes is best, but some of my appointments don't lend themselves to that possibility.
I have no illusions of getting my "20-year-old-me" body back. That's not optimal health for me... making sure I'm doing what I can, as I'm able, to rehab my body to the best is can be right now is.
But my body needs to heal. I just had my 1 year follow-up ultrasound from the first surgery. I'm waiting on the results, but I'm hopeful that what I've been doing is working. In the meantime, I've adjusted my coaching calendar and I have a standing desk. So if we're in a long workshop, you may see me stand up and pace around at my desk in order to get my movement in.
I have no illusions of getting my "20-year-old-me" body back. That's not optimal health for me at almost 50. Making sure I'm doing what I can, as I'm able, to rehab my body to the best it can be right now is.
I was intentional about the wording for this goal because those words carry a variety of meanings, depending on your audience.
Wealth, as I'm defining it, is about total well-being, not just my bank balance. Yes, income is important - a girl's gotta eat! But so is showing up happy, healthy, and in the right frame of mind for whatever comes my way.
If you were in our Customer Journey workshop last month, you saw how our offer stack is changing in the coming months. We're also right-sizing our pricing and rolling out some new, free workshops over the course of the year. Last month, it was the Customer Journey workshop. In March, it's a content creation sprint, and May we're hosting a brand new workshop about Enoughness, based on the TEDx talk I'm doing at the end of March.
Generosity takes many forms... including generosity to myself as well as others. Putting my oxygen mask on first is not being generous. That's a bare minimum that hasn't always happened. I want to move beyond that and really enjoy being exceptionally good to myself. Sharing the spotlight with my clients, as I mentioned earlier, is also rooted here. So is improving our client experience. We're moving our community off facebook this quarter. We're also migrating our Rising Tide learning library and all our courseware to a new platform as we prepare for a website redesign in the next year. I wanted a stable, easy to use place for everything to live, so that we can create a better customer experience. So that I can afford to be more generous to everyone in our circle.
Generosity takes many forms... including generosity to myself as well as others.
Being an entrepreneur signals my desire to keep getting paid (and paid well) doing work I love. Being an employee is challenging for non-normative people. Ageism and racism are real; so is fat phobia. The easier path for me has almost always been entrepreneurship - even when owning my own business has been hard.
I hope my transparency inspires you. Above all, define what success looks like for you this year, then go for it! Whether you need support to help you stay accountable or not, whether you hit all your goals or fall short, what matters most is that you are moving in the direction of your dreams.
I can’t believe 2022 is almost over! During the Creative Freedom Retreat last week, we began planning for 2023, and I think this particular episode is a perfect way to end Season 7 of the Creative Freedom Show and segway into the new year.
I’ve been in the online world for almost 30 years (zoinks!). I've been a business coach for almost 20 years. I've seen a lot, done a lot, and worked with many different clients in that time: direct sellers, solopreneurs, and now creative entrepreneurs. Over time, I put A LOT of content out there. Some of it resonates, some of it doesn’t, and in the process, you’re left carrying this sort of hodgepodge of “stuff.”
At the end of 2021, I got real clear that my message wasn’t landing with my right audience. Being in the online space for so long, I felt challenged to find someone I could trust. Someone who got ME. And most importantly, someone who wasn’t going to snow me (if you know, you know!) but would help me figure out exactly what I wanted my new messaging to be.
For the final episode of Season 7 and 2022, I’m sharing my interview with Dr. Michelle Mazur - where we demystify the process of rolling out and/or pivoting your message to reach YOUR right audience. Bonus: I’m also sharing the messaging guide we created for my business, so you can see how this works.
With a Ph.D. in Communication and 25+ years of experience working with solo service providers to Fortune 50 corporations, Michelle has the cred and experience to take your complex ideas and distill them into a persuasive message that powers your marketing, copy, and sales. She is the Founder/CEO of Communication Rebel, where she helps change-making business owners, entrepreneurs, and speakers become thought leaders by taking a stand with their 3 Word Rebellion. She is also the host of the Rebel Uprising Podcast and author of three books, including 3 WORD REBELLION: Create a one-of-a-kind message that grows your audience into a movement.
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Theme music: “Big Time” by Ikoliks, Artlist.io
Ever been on a bad date? I mean a really bad date? One that was so bad you felt the urge to write a song about it? Have you ever been the subject of a song about a really bad date?
I’ve kissed a few frogs in my day, but none of them warranted the kind of song that Nile Rogers of the famous music group CHIC wrote back in 1981. He went out with a woman and at some point in the evening, she started expecting him to use his celebrity status for her benefit. The nerve!
This young lady may well be the first person to ever be canceled. Seriously. You may not know her name, but that date was so bad that Niles went home and wrote the song “Your Love Is Canceled” He equated cancellation to the way television shows are canceled. They’re just gone… never to be seen or heard from again.
Boycotting and public shaming has been around for a very long time. But thanks in large part to the rise of social media, Cancel Culture has become a popular tool to villainize celebrity types - even folks that are only famous in their industry. And Cancel Culture Vultures are at the heart of that.
Podcast Show Notes
Inside this episode, we're talking about:
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Theme music: “Big Time” by Ikoliks, Artlist.io
Big hair, neon colors, the Rubik’s cube, and capri pants are all the rage. At a high school in Philadelphia, three kids are trying to start a new musical group.
Instead of using their own names (Grimaldi, Morris, and Nelson), they decide to call themselves “Unique Attraction”. Three more classmates joined their group, eager to bring their R&B stylings to the masses.
This budding group of vocalists worked hard and persisted despite graduations, creative differences, and other changes to the group. They got a big break when they snuck into a concert and crossed paths with Michael Bivins of the newly formed Bell Biv DeVoe.
Talk about perfect timing!
Seizing the opportunity, they did an impromptu performance, which led Bivins to give the group his phone number. Eventually, they called, which led them (eventually) to being signed by Motown Records as the soulful quartet known today as Boyz II Men.
B2M didn’t hit the big time immediately. They got a PHONE NUMBER.
They still had to graduate, for one thing! And practice... and call Michael Bivins... and practice!
This story of not-so-overnight success points to a common problem I find when clients come to me wanting to be the celebrity of their space. Most people think they have a visibility problem - “ooh, I just need to get in front of more people! I just need more eyeballs on my work” and while that may be true, it’s usually more of a capacity problem that’s causing the visibility problem. That's what we're exploring in this episode.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: If you want help with YOUR capacity, I'm doing a One-Time-Only special event at the end of November. Stop being a best-kept secret and build your custom roadmap to celebrity status in your niche. Join me for the Unleash Your Star Power Workshop!
Inside this episode, we're talking about:
Rising Tide community members can login and access your free downloads here.
Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for the Rising Tide, you also get email updates, the FREE learning library, and access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and more!
Special thanks to our Patrons for your continued support.
Theme music: “Big Time” by Ikoliks, Artlist.io
I’ve been holding onto this episode for a long time. Decades, in fact. You may already know that I’ve been in the online space for nearly 30 years - back when it took 15 minutes for an animated gif to load - and we were actually excited about that!
I’ve seen the rise and fall of many an internet marketer in my time - and the cult-like followings and mythos that those gurus often created around themselves. In that time, I’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t work. Which is why I’m still here.
So many folks were wooed by a “guru” promise only to find out they needed to invest more before they were really ready to step into that guru's big-ticket offer. They were sold on a dream of “success in their sleep” with images of fancy cars and exotic locations. Except that the guru’s “way of doing business” was a cookie-cutter formula, or an online success “blueprint” - no joke - that was an actual thing back in the day. Those formulas and blueprints were often high-level overviews or outlines that didn’t give you enough details to help you make real progress. They just kept you hamstrung - needing to invest more and more money with the guru in order to finally get the details that they’d been holding back from the beginning.
Blueprints and cookie-cutter concepts can only take you so far. Heck, we use them when we build business models. We start with the same framework for every person we work with. But, like a good builder, we don’t stop at the blueprint. That’s the "what". We also need the “how”. We take that model and help our clients implement it in ways that work for them.
And you can do that, too... You can do business outside the box! Listen along as I bust 4 myths so that you can feel at ease and start doing business YOUR WAY.
Inside this episode, we're talking about:
Rising Tide community members can login and access your free downloads here.
Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for the Rising Tide, you also get email updates, the FREE learning library, and access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and more!
Special thanks to our Patrons for your continued support.
Theme music: “Big Time” by Ikoliks, Artlist.io
Okay, so it's time to raise your rates, but how? Welcome to Episode 6 of the season! It's the logical follow-up to last week's episode sharing 11 signs that you need to charge more. So now that you're clear you need to charge more, here are 7 ways to make it happen without feeling icky about it.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments. Your insights may spark a conversation that helps someone else!
Mentioned in this episode:
If you haven't already downloaded this week's bonus content, you'll want to do that here. Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for email updates, you also get access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and other downloadables!
Fashion jewelry from Kerianne at FancyBargain.com. Tell her you saw her bling on Creative Freedom!
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This one’s all about the dolla billz, baby! Many creative entrepreneurs get emotional when it comes to price increases. So, what if there were an easy, external way to know that it’s time to raise your rates?
What if there were 11 ways?
Your wish is my command! Here are 11 external indicators that can help you determine if the time is right for a price increase in your creative business.
Need help communicating that price increase? Consider joining us for the Creative Freedom Guide To Overcoming Underearning, and build your confidence in changing your pricing!
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments. Your insights may spark a conversation that helps someone else!
Mentioned in this episode:
If you haven't already downloaded this week's bonus content, you'll want to do that here. Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for email updates, you also get access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and other downloadables!
Fashion jewelry from Kerianne at FancyBargain.com. Tell her you saw her bling on Creative Freedom!
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Five. This one's all about the dolla billz, baby! Whether you've raised your prices in the last year or the last month, it could be time to raise them again if they didn't go high enough in the first place. Many creative entrepreneurs get emotional when it comes to price increases. So, what if there were an easy, external way to know that it's time to raise your rates?
Your wish is my command! Here are 11 external indicators that can help you determine if a price increase is right for your creative business. Need help communicating that price increase? Consider joining us for the Creative Freedom Guide To Overcoming Underearning, and build your confidence in changing your pricing!
Download Season 4 Episode 5 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
02:21 - Why working for free is problematic, and why you might be inadvertently "programming" people to ask you to work for free.
06:31 - How a client in an economically depressed community managed to raise his rates.
11:00 - When someone is playing "Moneyball" with you, it is time to raise your rates!
16:30 - The "tuna can" tactic that helps you raise rates without changing your current pricing.
19:07 - How to look at barter/trade differently.
22:00 - The power of a $25k offer.
Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
Are you being a doormat in your business?
Do you constantly put everyone else's needs ahead of your own?
If so, you're not alone. This week, we're focusing on one way to mitigate the 5 core symptoms of underearning: learning how to say "no" with class and authenticity. This is the third in a series of videos this summer about overcoming the cycle of underearning.
As a mom and recovering pleaser, I have struggled with this issue personally for YEARS. This week's episode shares some examples and word choices you can swipe to help you practice saying "no" with class and confidence before the moment strikes. I also share an important warning about the tricky way your "no" can turn into an unwanted "yes" or a straight-up lie if you're not careful.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments. Your insights may spark a conversation that helps someone else!
Mentioned in this episode:
If you haven't already accessed this week's bonus content, you'll want to do that here. Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for email updates, you also get access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and other downloadables!
Fashion jewelry from Kerianne at FancyBargain.com. Tell her you saw her bling on Creative Freedom!
Video clip/song: "Yes" by LMFAO
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Four. Where we talk about how to say "no" with class and authenticity. Got someone who wants to pick your brain, ask you for a discount, or - GASP! - work for exposure? Need a classy way to say "um, no thanks!" without burning bridges or sounding like a jerk? You need this episode!
Being a doormat in your business sucks, quite frankly. It's also potentially a sign of co-dependence, which is one of our 5 Symptoms of Underearning. If you're saying yes to everyone and everything except yourself, it's time to re-wire your brain. Saying "no" is sexy, y'all, and today, I'm sharing tips to help you say it with class & authenticity. This is the third episode in a Summer-long series that deals with different aspects and triggers for underearning.
Need help with that whole "re-wiring" thang? Look no further than Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs. In just 5-weeks, you could build the clarity, confidence, and courage you need to finally beat the cycle of underearning once and for all. Plus, you get individualized email support throughout the program, so you're never alone in this journey.
Download Season 4 Episode 4 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
3:08 - The alternative to the vicious cycle of deadbeat clients and doing work you hate.
04:32 - The "Beef Stew" problem that shows up when you don't stand your ground and say "no".
9:00 - The importance of honoring boundaries
12:06 - What to say when someone is trying to talk you down on your rates
16:00 - The importance of saying "no" and trusting others to do their own work.
19:16 - The greatest lesson my Mom ever taught me.
24:03 - What happens when the desire to "not lose" ruins your plan to succeed (and how to fix it)
Still trying to decide what to say yes to, and what to say no to? There's an exercise in the Rising Tide this week for you to try.
Not a member? It's free! Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Three. The overwhelm episode. Overwhelm is a common trap for creative entrepreneurs caught in an underearning cycle. What can you do when you're knee deep in a project (or multiple projects) and have to keep going? Lisa shares what she learned running her first (and only) 10-mile foot race about how to keep momentum when you get overwhelmed.
This is the second episode in a Summer-long series that deals with different aspects and triggers for underearning. If you want to take this learning deeper, consider joining Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs.
Download Season 4 Episode 3 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
01:06 - How running The Crim (as an overweight 26-year old) gave me a new perspective on dealing with overwhelm.
03:38 - The importance of a finish line in a race (and your work).
07:12 - The "Heartbreak Hill" of overwhelm, and how to get from the start to the finish through even the toughest part of your "race" - even if it's not sexy.
12:15 - Why running together is a different race than running alone, and how that impacts the way you deal with overwhelm.
17:11 - The reasons the 3 creative types can't give up control or accept help - and how to see things differently.
20:14 - The art of delegation - it may not be what you think it is.
Download the delegation worksheet in the member area
Not a member? It's free! Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
[Note: This is another excerpt from my forthcoming book "Creative Freedom" - which I'll be sharing in full with participants at Creative Freedom Live. Seats are going fast - we've got about 5 spots left. If you want one, it's time to get moving and get registered!]
In all my years as both a creative entrepreneur and a coach for other creatives, I've watched plenty of people rise and fall. From one-hit wonders to big-shot internet marketers, some have staying power while others go stale faster than an open bag of potato chips in Michigan's muggy Summer weather (trust me, it's bad!).
It's something that's fascinated me for years. We all know someone that we think doesn't deserve the spotlight they have. You may be more talented than they are, and yet they're the ones with all the attention. Sometimes they're slimy jerks, who've manipulated their way to the top, and other times, they're just "in the right place at the right time" because they've got connections you don't. And then there are the truly amazing superstars that give us hope, inspire us to go after our dreams, and become our role models on our creative journey - the ones who we believe deserve all the kudos and accolades they receive.
Regardless of HOW they rose to prominence in their field, they've worked hard to get there - even if the work was less than ethical.
But there's something I've found that all these people have in common - whether they're good-hearted, wonderful people or slimy, manipulative baddies. In fact, there are 4 must-have skills and traits that every single one of them have in common - regardless of their creative type. Without them, it becomes nearly impossible to achieve the success and longevity you desire as a creative entrepreneur.
This one seems obvious, right? But clarity is very nuanced. What exactly do you need to be clear about?
For one thing, a creative entrepreneur need to be clear on who they are. My friend, Tajci Cameron was an international pop music superstar and she bagged it all because they were trying to cram her spirit into a mold that didn't fit the powerful, thoughtful, change-making woman she was becoming. She came to the states with just a few dollars, knowing no one. Decades later, Tajci's created her own path - one that's given her more joy and fulfillment than she ever had in her "glory days" when they made a doll in her image.
Tajci has one of those dolls on a shelf in her office. I was envious when I first saw that doll. But then it occurred to me that the doll represented just one small piece of who Tajci really is. She's so much more than a doll in a box. No box could ever contain the boundless light, life, and joy she brings to her fans (and the world) through her music, stories, and video journal. Tajci's found a way to stay true to who she is and still create in ways that are meaningful to her.
In addition to being clear on who you are, you need to be clear on how you want to show up in the world. You also need to be clear on your message and why it matters to your audience. These answers come with time and practice, but they are crucial to having staying power as a creative entrepreneur. Tajci could have given up years ago, but she knew that music was her path.
"Throughout my journey," she says, "knowing there was someone out there who could hear my voice and my songs gave me a sense of being heard, accepted, understood and loved... I am a singer/songwriter and passionate about my music, I use it to express myself and give voice to my soul- as free as I am courageous to let it be."
It takes guts to face regular rejection of your work - and not see it as a personal rejection. It takes guts to step out on faith and do something you've never done before. Yet courage is one of the biggest elements sorely lacking in so many talented creatives. When I was a kid, I was told to be offended if someone ever said I had potential. "It means you're not living up to it."
For better or worse, Justin Bieber's got courage. In a 2009 interview, Bieber recounts how he met Usher:
"Usher happened to roll up in his Range Rover. I ran up to him, and I was like, 'Usher, I love your songs. Want me to sing you one?' The politest possible way he could say no, he did. ... I took the hint. I didn't get to sing for him: He had to run into a studio session."
Kids are often the most courageous among us, and Bieber was still a kid at the time of this chance meeting with his idol. He didn't let that stop him. He knew this might be the only chance he had to meet or talk to Usher, and he took that chance. It didn't seem to pan out at first, which is more common than you might think. But thanks to a little help from his support team (we all need one), Justin did get that chance after all:
"He actually watched my videos — after my manager got to talking to him — and was like, 'I should have let this kid sing,' and flew me back to Atlanta where I got to sing for him in a proper setting."
You've got to have the courage to own your message and speak it into the world - in whatever format your Great Work "speaks". You've got to have courage to consistently show up as your true self - warts, sparkles and all, as I like to say. You've got to be willing to be unpopular, and sometimes borrow someone else's courage for yourself. Stephen King's book Carrie was rejected so many times he threw it in the trash. But his wife was courageous enough to dig it out of the trash and not let him give up.
You've also got to be courageous enough to admit and own your mistakes and make amends.
Courage creates opportunities for practice - which is how you build confidence. Confidence to nurture your message, nurture your audience, and nurture yourself. It's the difference between being a Freshman and a Senior in high school. My physics class had students from all grades in it. Sure, I was smarter than some of the Seniors in that class, but when we left the classroom, they were the ones exuding more confidence in the halls. They knew who the best teachers were, which ones to avoid, and the underclassmen looked up to them, aspiring to be them in many cases.
When you've been at the game for a while, you know the rules, you know where you can bend them and where you have to press on through the hard stuff. You know what to avoid, what to accept, and what you can change. You know the difference you can make. That's the difference between courage and confidence. Courage comes from facing the unknown while confidence is built through knowing.
Confidence allows you to say no with grace and yes with enthusiasm and know when things are or are not a good fit for you. Confidence gives you a greater ability to trust the process, trust your team, and make strategic decisions that benefit you in the long term even if they're not so great for you in the short term. Many times, when working with clients, this is the piece that snaps together the fastest, once we've got their courage issues handled.
Confidence is NOT the same as arrogance. Arrogance is confidence in your own infallibility. No one is perfect. Arrogance drinking your own Kool-Aid and believing your own hype. Don't fall victim to it.
Here's the kicker. Ya gotta have more money coming in than going out. Toni Braxton is the poster child of this issue. After filing bankruptcy, she worked her way back and launched a self-funded stint in Vegas. Just after she renewed her contracts, she was diagnosed with medical conditions that kept her from keeping her commitments. She filed bankruptcy again, this time knowing she never be able to perform at her peak again. "I'm definitely on a budget," she said in a 2012 interview.
Where's the money coming from? Where's it going to? What do you have set aside or saved up for the unexpected? You can run on credit for a while, but, like Braxton, it'll eventually come back to bite you. The sooner you can get in the black and stay there, the better off you'll be.
I talked about all this in today's Facebook Live. Here's the replay:
Every day, we're tasked with thousands of decisions.
How many? Well, Cornell University researchers said we make about 226 decisions just on FOOD in an average day.
The total number for adults is somewhere in the range of 35,000 decisions a day. Many of them are impulsive, and logic-driven (pro/con, etc.), but that's STILL a lot of remotely conscious decision making each and every day of your adult life.
Kids only make about 3000 decisions a day. Ahhh, those were simpler times, right?
Here's a decision making tool that I've used for myself and my clients for years now - one that gets immediate results and gives you clarity when you've probably been feeling stuck on something for a while, maybe even overwhelmed at the prospect of having to choose from several equally appealing (or unappealing, as the case may be) options.
This is just one of the tools you'll be working with in Your Breakout Year - my summer workshop for creative entrepreneurs. This program is designed to help you map out AND implement a clear path to a six-figure annual revenue stream.
THAT piece is the idea/concept/decision that holds the most energy for you, so that's where you need to act first (yes, even if you don't WANT to, which is another thing altogether).
The brain is a funny thing. When we take something out of one modality into another, our brain gets to work on the problem in a different way. By changing the way you assess the situation (from emotional or logical to visual), your brain has a new way of looking at the problem. The old block (which is probably a conflict between emotional and logical) is interrupted and you're able to make a decision so that you can move forward.
Often times, it doesn't matter what you decide, only that you finally make a decision so that you can get momentum again. So even if you "randomly" select a paper ball, you've made a decision and can move forward.
If you're a tactile processor, you might ACTUALLY write each option on a piece of paper and throw them on the floor. But then you've got a lot of cleaning up to do, which is totally NOT my jam. 🙂
Like I said, the messy room technique is is a powerful tool that's quick and easy to use to get clarity now, and get moving again.
Whether you're starting from scratch, been hobbling along at this for a while, or you're ready to expand and add a new revenue stream to your creative business, Your Breakout Year is the exact process I've used with clients - for over a decade now - to help them get clear on what really matters and build out a business model that gets them there faster, with less hustle, and more ease.
Courses and classes alone don't get the job done. You'll just end up with a lot of information and zero implementation. This is an implementation-heavy program because I believe that if you do the work, you'll get results. So doing the work is baked into the program. No "learn now, implement later" in Your Breakout Year. Implement as you learn, decide what works and what doesn't, cut the fluff, and see real financial results in your business.
There are still a few spots left for early bird pricing, and a 4 installment payment option to make it budget friendly.
If you're ready to find your right audience and make good money doing what you love without selling your soul, join me for Your Breakout Year.
This week I had an AMAZING photo shoot that's been several months in the making. I knew when I landed in Nashville, starting over would take up a good portion of my first year here. I also knew that I had projects that still needed to move forward: I've been sitting on Creative Freedom for a while now, and The Damn Whippersnappers have promised to visit this summer for a recording session. So with a new book and new music in the works, of COURSE I needed to get the website redone.
Only, I didn't know anyone in this town, so I had no idea how long I'd have to wait, how much it would cost, or anything. Luckily, my best friend, Google helped me out. I met Emily, a wardrobe stylist from Effortlesstyle here in Nashville. She came over, looked at my closet and said "let's just start from scratch, okay?"
hee. hee.
While I know how to clean up, I've never been at the bleeding edge of style, and I told her that. My closet is full of black, black, and more black - with a splash of solid color here and there. So I gave her a budget and she went to work. A week or so later, we met for the fitting. There was really only one piece I couldn't bring myself to like. Everything else was wonderful - and a lot of it I wouldn't have picked for myself. Like this floral top. When I first looked at it, all the voices in my head took a swing at me:
"Oh, you're too big to wear white!"
"That floral print is just going to draw all kinds of attention that you don't want."
I swallowed hard when she showed it too me. I knew Emily could sense my reluctance. "Just try it on." she politely insisted.
I did. We found a keeper.
I had just raised my threshold of belief around what was possible for my wardrobe. Emily's a professional that's been doing this for years. Despite that, it was hard to trust her at first because I didn't know her. I didn't believe she could style a plus-sized momma like me.
Luckily, she made it easy to like her, and her ensemble choices were on point, so trust came quickly.
Which was good, because the hair and makeup artist I had originally asked to do the shoot booked herself another appointment and was unable to make our shoot date. It wasn't her fault. I was trying to coordinate all the details myself, and things didn't come together. Frantic, I asked Emily if she had any suggestions.
Panic turned to relief, but I had no idea how much I'd be paying for TWO people instead of one.
I swallowed hard again, and just trusted the process.
I arrive at Emily's house on the day of the shoot for hair and makeup. Mind you, two total strangers are about to have their way with my head. The ONLY thing keeping me from not showing up is the commitment I made to my photographer, Ashley.
That, and I trusted Emily. She hadn't steered me wrong yet, so I figured she wasn't going to start now.
I knock on the door, walk in, and I'm greeted by two of the sunniest, most enthusiastic women I've ever met. Both hard-working artists, both incredibly talented. Both eager to make magic happen.
Why did I ever doubt Emily?
Within minutes they are both working on me: Angela at the front, Genia at the back. We're chatting, really connecting, and they're making it easy for me to trust them. But...
I don't even know how much time has gone by, I can't see a mirror, and I'm still too nervous to eat any of the snacks Emily's put out for us. I did manage to down a glass of water, because I kept telling myself "it's gonna be hot outside, you don't want to die of heat stroke!"
Still, I think I managed to keep my self-doubt to myself as we talked about building a business doing what you love, something I'm pretty passionate about. My fear was, hopefully, masked by my enthusiasm for profitable creative businesses.
When they finished, I snapped a quick photo of my glam team and off we went to meet Ashley at Cumberland Park. When I got in my car, I had all I could do to keep from crying. I looked GOOD! Like, I almost didn't recognize myself. I had a vision of what I wanted for the shoot, and even hired Duane "The Hair Fairy" Edlao to cut my hair before I met these ladies to make sure that it would do what we wanted it to do. But to see it actually come to life?
Whoa.
We headed off toward Nissan Stadium to meet Ashley for the shoot. This is the first time we've met in person, and she looks happy, so I'm feeling more relaxed at this point. She's got some ideas about how to get in all the wardrobe changes and make the most of our time together.
The first few pictures felt awkward to me - because my inner critic was having her way.
There was a couple sitting at a picnic table across the way. They both stopped and looked up as my entourage pulled up with all our gear. I joked about being famous, but inside I was a self-conscious mess.
Despite these women all being super talented professionals, my inner critic was having her way with me. I told Ashley to "just shoot everything" because I knew that candid moments would probably end up making the most "natural" shots, plus we'd get some behind-the-scenes shots, too, which would be great for me to share with my clients in A-club. In truth, I was just hoping that, if she shot everything, there might be something that I could use.
Good thing Emily was listening, because she took some great candids, too. Like the shot of Angela, above, touching up my face, or this one, which is quickly becoming one of my favorites.
When I saw the first photo, I knew I was in good hands and I could relax. That's when we had REAL fun!
We joked, got silly, and just enjoyed being together - creatives whose only agenda was to create. Make magic happen. That was all we had to do, and when we could really let loose and trust each other, poof! The magic was there naturally.
The rest of the hour-long shoot went by fast, and it really felt like we were a team - working together to tell a compelling visual story. I look forward to seeing the proofs that Ashley took. Here's a sneak peek from the back of Ashley's camera...
This photo shoot was a massive investment in the future of my company, and it would be easy to just stop there...
...But that would be the least important part of the story.
As the pictures started appearing, people on Facebook started asking me what the shoot was for. It was easy to say "new book, new album, new website," but that wasn't entirely true. It was also a "new me" of sorts.
In the past, I would have tried to DIY as much as possible and keep everything on the cheap - not to be efficient or save money (though those are the excuses I would have used), but because of my own self-worth.
I put at least ten times the money into this shoot than any other shoot I've ever done. I'm not saying that to brag. I still feel strange about it, to be honest. I tell you this because there was a time in my life where I didn't believe I was WORTHY of investing "that kind of money" in me or my dreams.
Some days, I still struggle with my worthiness.
My early photo shoots were courtesy of my kid, or good friends who were skilled with a camera. I actually hired a photographer and hair/makeup artist for my last shoot because I wanted to get some specific shots for the album. I was leery then about spending "that kind of money" on a project that had no guarantee of completion, let alone success. But I was so happy with the results that I used those pictures all over the interwebs for a couple of years.
This time, I had a team of three incredible women who had my back the entire time (four, counting my photographer!). They probably had no idea of the "who do you think you are?" trash talk my inner critic was laying on me. At least, I hope they didn't. I am thrilled that they made it SO easy for me to just be ME in front of the camera.
The next day, I was talking with one of my coaches about my book, online course, and live event all built around the foundation of Creative Freedom. One of the last things she said to me was about the pricing for my upcoming event. I've been in a holding pattern for WEEEEEEKS because I haven't been able to decide how to price it or how and when to offer the online version. I told her I feel confident that I could easily charge twice the price because I believe it'll bring a solid 5-10x return on investment, but I was keeping the intro rate low because I wanted to fill the program (totally an ego thing, by the way).
When she looked at my pricing and asked about my motivations, she reminded me that sometimes, when we offer discounts and low-ball our pricing, it doesn't actually empower our clients, because we're modeling a behavior that comes from a place of scarcity instead of abundance. She then asked me "what if, by lowering your prices, you're denying your clients from having the same experience you just had at your photo shoot?"
Eyes Opened.
If you've got a healthy relationship with money, this probably doesn't apply to you, but if you struggle with naming a price that feels right to you because your inner critic is asking "who will pay that?" - this could be helpful.
The answer to the "who will pay that?" question isn't found in the circle of people you've been begging to buy from you. The answer is found in the faces of the people who light up when you enter the room and say "where have you been all my life!?!?"
Sadly, most of us build our careers around the former and not the latter.
This is one of the reasons I encourage my clients to develop a $25,000 offer... not because anyone will ever buy it (though it does happen), but because it gets you thinking differently, so that when you offer something for $2k or $5k, you'll feel more confident around the real value you bring to your work.
What could happen (for you and your potential clients) if you just created and asked for the price you want without all the baggage attached?
Because it doesn't matter what price you pick, there will always be someone that can't or won't pay it. But there are also probably a few people who will.
Owning your dreams, without selling your soul. Finding yourself and building a life and business that works for who you really are and what really matters to you. Making good money doing what you LOVE (and all the ladies from my shoot love what they do). THAT is what Creative Freedom is about, and I can't wait to share more of this new evolution with you.
Oh, and tickets for the virtual workshop and online event will be on sale soon. If you're not already on my list, get there to be one of the first to know about it!