Sometimes it's innocent enough. Someone asks you to do something that's a real problem for them, but only takes you a quick second to handle. Once it's finished, they offer to compensate you in some way - maybe taking you to lunch, or actually offering you cash - but you decline.
You've just started down the slippery slope of turning away money.
I've done it more times than I care to count. Because I've got a pretty diverse background in all kinds of things, people ask me questions all the time. Sometimes it's a quick answer, other times, it requires a minute or two, but it's a whole lot easier for me than it is for them. They've just rented my brain (or my hands) for a project, and when they offered me compensation, I declined.
You train people how to treat you.
Whether it's your kids, your clients, your colleagues, or total strangers, you train people in every interaction you have with them. Last week, we talked about being too generous, and the other piece to that puzzle is turning away business/income/money because "it's no big deal" for you.
People come to expect you to be a certain way. My mom expected every McDonald's to have clean restrooms. Why? That's not part of their brand promise. Simply, mom had a lifetime of experience that gave her that expectation. The day she walked into a filthy McDonald's bathroom, she nearly blew her lid. Not because McDonald's ever promised her a clean restroom, but because she came to expect it because of all her past... um... interactions.
Your knowledge has value.
My grandfather was a carpenter and once charged a guy $50 to hang a picture frame on the wall. The guy was a bit miffed. "All you did was drive a nail!" When the guy asked him to itemize the bill, it looked like this:
Driving a nail: $5
Knowing where to drive the nail: $45
Total Due: $50
So often we discount the value of our hard-earned knowledge without even realizing it. Sure, it may only take a few minutes to handle that task for someone, but you've invested YEARS of learning how to do it in such a short time. There's value in that.
While my videos are meant to be fun, this is a serious issue for creatives - especially for women. My pal, Jason Stein, is super passionate about this topic and works with women entrepreneurs to help them deal with their money blocks. He's gifted at clearing the clutter and helping you see straight... and he's a bit of a badass, like me. And my friend and former coach, Teresa Romain, also takes a holistic approach to facing money issues. Both are incredibly gifted and compassionate folks that are good at untangling your money stories.
This week's episode of Creative Freedom talks more about this issue, as well as another way that we turn discount our value and turn away money or opportunities. Special thanks to my mastermind pals Pam and Jill for the impromptu jam session in today's episode!
You train people how to treat you based on what they expect & what you accept. (Tweet this.)
How are you turning away money & opportunities?
Are you expecting money to show up a certain way? Are you "not enoughing" the opportunities and money that you've already got? What other ways might you be "biting" or "hiding"?
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and let's be a rising tide for everyone. Remember to share this video with folks you know that could benefit. You'll have my undying gratitude for years to come!
This is Season Four, Episode Seven. This is one of my most dangerous episodes, because I'm talking about shame. I'm talking about what Dr. Brene Brown calls "Unwanted Identities" and how they can impact your ability to charge higher rates for your work. If you find yourself saying "I'm not (famous person), I could never charge […]
Often times, we as creators find ourselves in a bind. Okay, bind is not the right word. Neither is stuck. It's more like being trapped in a building that's collapsed. We're gasping for oxygen, battling with ourselves over whether we should scream out for help or conserve what little oxygen we have.