So I have this friend/colleague who was once a great client (I'm happy to admit that happens pretty frequently in my business), and she's doing this amazing love experiment. She's making her coaching available as part of the gift economy.
It's humbling and awesome to watch.
Also, I was feeling a twinge of... envy.
And when I get that twinge, I know it's a sign. A sign of something in me that wants something that I imagine must be happening on that "greener side of the fence" - whether or not it's really happening.
Envy is interesting when you step back and look at it "rationally". I use the quotes, because I still question whether or not it's really possible to be rational about our emotions, but I digress...
See, envy makes assumptions. Often, it's not the THING that someone else has that you really want. It's what you think you'll experience by having that thing.
In my heart, I assume that Rhiannon's getting all kinds of success, exposure and love from her community for offering her uh-mazing coaching services in this way.
I want that.
Lately, as you've no doubt read, it's been pretty heavy around here. I've been mooching hugs from anyone that will give them to me lately. Even the mail carrier is wary when he sees me standing at the door. 🙂
I want to feel the love, success, and exposure that I imagine Rhi's experiencing right now.
So how do I deal with this in a way that creates healthy boundaries for me, serves my peeps, and allows me to bring more of my gifts and Great Work into the world?
"But I don't want to be a copycat!"
It would be easy to say "Hey y'all! I'm giving away free/reduced/pay-it-forward type coaching. Normally I charge $650..."
Um, no. First of all, that's not in alignment with my own healthy boundaries. My "quiet coaching time" is extremely limited - especially during the summer with kids home, and it would be crazypants for me to take on a bunch of new clients in that way. I just don't have the bandwidth.
Plus, I really want to reach people on a larger scale. One-0n-one coaching is very powerful. I've just launched a program for direct sales professionals that includes some one-on-one coaching, and by the nature of the program, I can only accept a limited number of entrepreneurs.
How do I resolve these feelings of envy?
Simple (sort of). Here are my three steps to identifying and dealing with envy:
- Get at the underlying experience that you REALLY want to have. For me, it's about love, respect, and feeling successful during a very stressful time. I often use the 5-Why approach to getting at the underlying issue.
- Identify what's keeping me from experiencing that right now. In truth, the feelings of success, love, and respect are ALWAYS available for me to access in any moment. Envy is a trigger for me to remember that, and my gratitude list helps me center myself in that space.
- Create a plan to heighten that experience ASAP.
It's been a couple of weeks since Rhiannon launched her program changes. I've taken time each morning during the first phase of The PEACE System to ask and listen for guidance on how I can heighten my experience of love, success, and respect right now, through my Great Work, in a way that's resonant for who I am and how I do business. Finally, today, I had a breakthrough.
Can I help you "fix your biz"?
I'm looking for 12 volunteers for a new web series where we will work together to identify and tackle one element of your Noble Empire/inspired life that's in need of attention. Your business will be featured in an episode, which will help you spread your brand and business, and we'll be able to help a larger audience that may be struggling with similar issues in their own situation.
The easiest way to volunteer is to leave a comment on this page. Just tell me one of the big hurdles you're experiencing right now, and we'll be in touch. If you'd rather apply privately, shoot me an email using our contact page. Tell me you're applying for the series and let me know your big hurdle.
How do YOU deal with envy?
I'd also love your suggestions/ideas/recommendations for dealing with feelings of envy. I know I'm not the only person that goes through this. How do YOU handle it?