I confess: I’m a double – sometimes treble – fisted reader ((more on that in a future post)), often going on “book binges” where I’ll be taking in two or three books at a time.

There’s a system to the way I read, and I’m zealous about books that make me think. ((Sorry, no real time for romance novels. I’m a practical, tactical girl, thanks.))

So I took Jim Collins’ “Good to Great” with me on my trip to NC. While I was in NC, I finished it, passed it on to a new client who really needed it, and went hunting at JR’s for more brain fodder. ((Anyone that lives near Statesville, NC, will know what I mean about finding great gems at JR. Wish I had one near me.)) At JR, I picked up 3 books (none of them “UnMarketing”. We’ll get there, keep your shirt on!) – most of which are hard to find anywhere but Amazon, all of which inspired me to give them a read.

One of the books, “Jesus Brand Spirituality” , was written by a pastor from Michigan (ironic, I know). I was also working on an ebook copy of “A New Christ” (Wallace Wattles of “The Science of Getting Rich” fame) before I picked these other books up.

Reading, for me is a full-contact sport. ((The way my hubby talks about the Lions? That’s the way I talk about books!)) I don’t just flip through pages, I have a “process” for getting the most out of every book I read. I have notebooks that I keep with me to outline my ideas – kind of like “Cliff’s Notes” - so I don’t have to flip through extra book pages to find what I want at a later date. See when I read a book, I keep a notebook with me to jot down thoughts, ideas and ruminations (that are sometimes cross-pollinated by other books I’m reading). The notes are the juiciest bits that I actually think will serve me (or my clients) best long after I’ve loaned out the book and never gotten it back.

My family thinks I’m a bit off my tam-o-shanter ((actually, I’m part Irish, so I guess I’m off my Eske)) because I have nearly as many notebooks as I do books in my library. The truth is I often pass my books on when I’ve “finished” with them – unless it’s a real keeper. That, and there’s something visceral about the tactile sensation and the mind-body connection of writing with an actual pen on actual paper. ((Yes, I said visceral and tactile in the same sentence. I like $2 words. Deal with it.)) It ingrains the lesson, the learning, and most of all the new ideas I get when I write down my “takeaways” from the work of others.

So I’m writing in my notebooks and about half-way into “Jesus Brand Spirituality”, I get this overwhelming sense of how Jesus had to be one of the best marketers in the world ((I’m already working on a book about it, so don’t go getting all plagaristic on me, okay?)). He was a freakin’ rock star – respected teacher, voice of authority, and tended to by people of privilege.

And I start thinking about how Jesus was all about relationships. I think you can see where I’m going now (was it worth the wait?).

Enter “UnMarketing: Stop Marketing. Stop Engaging.” by The Honorary Renaissance Mom of the Year, Scott Stratten (aka @unmarketing on twitter). ((Warning: That’s an affiliate link and a shameless plug all rolled into one. Caveat Emptor. Cogito ergo sum. Carpe Diem.))

Now save your religious isms for someplace else. This isn’t about religion, unless your religion is the First Church of Building a Legacy - which requires relationships – not totems, symbolism, other icons or gesticulation – to incite passion, create a following, and move you to take action.

Jesus had this figured out some 2000 years ago.

No, I’m not comparing Scott to Jesus. He’s a pretty good guy and all, but he hasn’t built the enduring fame of Jesus. Yet.

Although he’s got the chops, if his first book is any indication.

And yes, this book is a keeper. I’ve already talked with Scott about using it as a text book for a class I’m teaching later this year.

How did I come to this conclusion?

After all, if you’re reading this review, you probably don’t know me from Joe (few people do). ((Joe would be a male name. My name is Lisa, a decidedly female name where I come from.)) It would probably be helpful to share with you how I can confidently say this book is a keeper.

When I sit down to read a book, I usually wait for it to come to my local library. Frankly, I don’t want to waste time in a bookstore unless I know the book is worth the buy ((lead us not into temptation, shall we?)). Because I actually KNOW Scott ((not in the biblical sense. I mean in the “we’ve DM’d and talked on twitter and via email” sense)) and read his blog posts (which were excerpts from the book), I gladly drove across town to the only bookstore that had a copy in stock and paid FULL PRICE for the hardcover edition. ((Nope, don’t want a medal for it, just want to keep the FTC off my back with full disclosure on it.)) I did not wait. In the words of Inigo Montoya, “I hate waiting.”

That was the first indicator. ((Well played, Scott, for sharing preview content on your blog and hooking me months before the book was due!)) The second indicator is the highlighting, underlining, and general note taking I’ve made in this book. If a book is good, I’ll take notes. If it’s a keeper, I’ll tab it, highlight it (usually in multiple colors), underline and make notes in the margin. In college the first time, I was taught that books were meant to be written in and the wide bottom margin of Scott’s book was just enough for me to start brainstorming. ((Which is one thing I do incredibly well, imho.))

And well, once I’ve marked up a book that much, no one else can really get much use out of it, so I guess I have to keep it.

That’s my definition of a keeper. One I can’t/won’t share with someone else because I’ve gotten so much out of it, and put so much of myself into it. Amid the hundreds (maybe thousands now) of books I own, I only have a handful of books that are “keepers.”

Scott’s is not a perfect book. That in and of itself is both refreshing and perplexing. I was raised on “proper” writing and all that. Scott’s extensive use of “inappropriate” footnoting drove me to distraction. ((and yes, I installed a footnote plug-in on my blog just for this post!)) There were grammar issues only a mother of a third grader could love, and it was riddled with Scott’s, shall we say curmudgeonly ((as defined thus: “a crusty, irascible, cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas” – except for the “crusty” and “old” parts)) style.

But that’s where it gets endearing. Scott’s not known to tip-toe or badmouth. He calls ‘em as he sees ‘em, and isn’t afraid to use profanity when it’s warranted. ((I think he held back a little, actually.)) Somewhere between Mark Twain, Henry Ford, and John Wayne, you’ll find Scott, riding roughshod, taking no BS, and doing his best to put out a quality product – with honesty, integrity, and his own brand of personality.

That said, when I recommend a book to others, it’s got to meet a few criteria:

1. Readability. Any time you say 56 chapters, someone’s head will explode. I’m calling them sections, instead. They’re short. Maybe too short in places, but Scott said something about a sequel, so perhaps he’ll expound in a future revision. They’re easy to read. And Scott’s footnotes make it easy and FUN to read. A business book that’s fun to read. That’s scary good, when you think about it.
2. Entertaining. I readily admit that not everyone is as geeky as I am. They won’t sit through 10 minutes of reading an instruction manual to assemble a child’s toy ((are you listening dear husband of mine??)) let alone plow through 250+ pages of marketing education. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are an “edutainment” age, and Scott’s book – particularly the footnotes – scores big on entertainment factor.
3. Crave factor. I bought it and read it cover-to-cover in the same day. I was bummed there wasn’t more to read, and actually started re-reading sections to see if I missed anything really juicy the first time. If a book leaves me wanting more in a way where I don’t feel gypped, I know it’s good enough to share with others. If I feel ripped off, like the author left out the most important part or something, you can bet I won’t recommend it.
4. Learnability. That’s my word for the likelihood that you’ll actually walk away from this book having learned something you can implement right away. To quote Scott, “holy crapcakes!” UnMarketing is chocked with examples, stories and specifics that will make you take notice. Some of them you’ve probably experienced yourself as a customer, but the bigger lesson is how are you implementing those lessons in your own business? Learn from history or be doomed to repeat it.

A few people have suggested that Scott’s book is re-hash, or more of the same old lessons, or Social Media 101. I’m reminded of the story about an elderly minister that gives the same sermon four Sundays in a row. When asked if he realized he was doing it, he replied “Of course! And I’m going to keep giving it until it sinks in!” ((That’s what I meant by curmudgeon earlier.)) But here’s the thing you’re probably missing in Scott’s lessons: the sad reality that it hasn’t “sunk in” for most people in the business world.

Scott’s book isn’t about social media, viral videos, selling to women, coffee, shoes, or any of the stories he uses to illustrate the point. Scott takes a full 250 pages (and then some) to tell you that those stories illustrate an endemic condition in business (and the world) today: the failure to build enduring relationships that aren’t about selfish gain.

The 4 hour phone call for Zappos. Seminar organizers that virtually ravage their speakers. The $1,500 saw. All examples of how the relationship SHOULD be the most important point of contact – and the fact that you never know where it can end up if it is.

That’s a major learnability factor in my book.

So what’s this got to do with Jesus?

Jesus got this stuff. He wasn’t looking to be an Amazon best-seller. He had a mission, a message, and a passion for sharing it with the people that would listen. The people that believed. He built a following, not because he went on about his experience in delivering results for his clients, his MBA from NYIT, or the thousands of followers that touted his expert status. He took no prisoners, pulled no punches, and did his best to deliver the same quality message day after day to the people that mattered most. He listened to people that talked to him. He responded, not by telling them what they wanted to hear, but by sharing his truth. And in sharing that truth, he started a revolution that’s still the subject of fierce debates, wars, and riots to this day.

There is one thing in Scott’s book that really perplexes me. It’s not enough to keep me from calling this book a keeper, and in fact, may be part of why I’m calling it a keeper. On the one hand, Scott calls out work at home moms for hurting themselves by embracing that moniker ((the chapter “Why Being A Work At Home Mom Is Bad For Business”)) (“I want to hire you… because you will get the job done”), and yet, his own slip is showing in the editorial issues that don’t detract from the content, but leave me feeling like there’s something not quite right about my coffee. ((A reference to Scott’s chapter “Stirring Coffee”)) Scott himself acknowledges that part of his “branding” is his lazy nature and the typographical errors that abound in his writing. To me, that’s a cop-out for writing that’s “good enough” when he could have been more diligent in the writing, research and review of his book.

Jim Collins reminds us that “good enough never is.”  And yes, I know I’ve opened the door to having the red pen hurled at me when I finally release a book. I do hope that people will be merciful with me. Still, Scott threw he gauntlet down, not me. And frankly, if that’s the only major fault I can find with the book, then that’s pretty dang good. ((I was going to make that sentence a footnote, but I’ve already got a crap ton, and I thought it would be a nice way to cushion my previous criticism.))

And lastly, one of the biggest reasons for recommending this book is because Scott’s a Renaissance Mom in so many ways. There’s a reason he won that award, and his book only justifies it more. The book begins with “For UnJunior” and ends with “To Aiden and Owen…” – proof that the guy understands that the most important relationships are the ones we build at home.

Well played, Mr. Stratten. Well played, indeed.

And so it begins.

I’ve been ruminating about a lot of stuff related to being a coach, developing this new business, the LIVE event we’re planning this fall, and a bunch of other seemingly disconnected ideas. Like ElizabethPW‘s post on the many reasons why she sucks (she doesn’t really, at least not IMHO, but I digress), and overpriced “gurus” and my kid at camp, and how my hubby’s such a baby when he’s sick, deadbeats that don’t pay their child support (thanks, @unmarketing), and a host of other, um, stuff.

Then I found a connection: Self Worth

This funky little thread that ties it all together.

And I owe a heaping helping of gratitude to the amazing Marcia Hoeck for clicking it all together for me. See, I’m one of a handful of clients that’s working with her in the “End of the Elevator Pitch” small group coaching program she developed to help us clarify the “what do you do” question without using an elevator pitch (apologies to Barbara Lopez!).

I love my elevator pitches. They’re great. I don’t plan on ditching them anytime soon. This course, for me, was more to help me hone in on my ideal client for The Renaissance Mom as we finalize the plans for our Live event in the fall.  I wanted to have the right words to say to bring clients that resonated with the message of the event – because I want to have a packed house. I figured Marcia’s marketing experience would be a great place to start – and I might meet a few people in the group that would resonate with it.

As usual, I got WAY more than I expected – just in the first session.

In one of the exercises, Marcia walked me through a process to help me understand the value I bring to the table. The irony was that it’s something very similar to what I do in my own coaching practice. Godly enough, Marcia is quick to remind us that even the sharpest knife can’t carve it’s own handle (Thanks, Marcia!).

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve known at the core that my best work is in helping people understand their value. I’m very good at showing a person how they are LOGICALLY worth more than a few measly bucks an hour – particularly women. I’m not talking about jacking up some inflated pricing scheme, but really helping a person to see the value they have as a business owner AND as a human being. To me, that ‘human’ thing is more important, anyway.

What I didn’t get was WHY I was so good at it, or more importantly, why I was feeling called to serve people in this capacity.

I mean, I’ve got a great business working with direct sales reps, and I’ve been happy to plug along in that niche for the past 2 years. Frankly, I’ve rebelled at the idea of being some kind of mom-preneur. It felt like a stigma or some kind of slack being cut for not being a “real” entrepreneur (whatever that means). I’ve railed against the notion on countless occasions. To me, I’m a mom and a business owner, there’s no need to cloud either issue – or use one as an excuse for not succeeding with the other.

That’s my “logical” brain trying to have a say in things.

So it made no sense to me why I should be the one to launch this brand. I mean, yeah, I’ve got a special needs kid with some issues. There are times when my husband could be more supportive. There are times when cash flow could be a bit more on the upside of the wave. But isn’t that what life is? Everyones got issues, everyones got obstacles. The success comes in finding ways to overcome it.

What made my story any different than the clients I already worked with? The moms of multiples who have to cart their kids to special therapy sessions and still juggle their business meetings. The single mom that moved across country to make a better life for her kid – only to find out the job she went there for dried up while she was en route. Why was I the one that was being singled out to “lead a revolution” as one person pointed out?

Because I’ve got the big mouth, that’s why.

I’m still not comfortable with being called ‘fearless’ – though I get that a lot. I am VERY comfortable with saying that I’m direct, kind of blunt, and not willing to put up with a lot of crap – most of the time. I can pretty much call it as I see it. I may not always see it correctly, but I have no problem with saying “my bad” if I screw up, either – most of the time.

So I’m working through this process with Marcia, and all these threads start coming together. The deadbeats, the sick hubby, the kid at camp, the women I work with, etc, and I made a statement something like this:

We get so caught up in not letting people know who we are. We think we’re a bad mom if we spend time working on our business and a bad business owner if we have to take our kid to the doctor. And worst of all, we feel like we’re alone… isolated on some kind of island where we can’t – or we’re not allowed to share this pain, this struggle, this experience. We think we’re the only people going through this, and the truth is, we’re not alone . We just need a connection, wind my key and point me in a direction so I can fix the issue… My clients don’t want hand holding. They want to know they’re not alone in this fight and that they can be successful. They’ll do just about anything. They get stuff done. They just need a connection, a support, and to know they’re not alone. But it’s this dirty little secret we harbor because we look at these millionaire mentors we’re supposed to be ‘modeling’ and we tell ourselves, ‘well SHE doesn’t have to put up with the stuff in MY life’ or ‘if I had HER life, I’d be successful, too’ and that’s crap. We’ve all got issues, and there are women out there with the same story telling themselves these lies because they think they’re the only ones. I’ve got six and seven figure income earners calling ME and asking me how I do it, and I’m like – ‘are you kidding me? I didn’t think there was any other option. You either succeed or you fail. And I’m not a big fan of failure, so you figure out a way.’ And that just blows me away, because people don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes… it’s this ‘dirty little secret’ that no one wants to talk about, but there are SO many mom entrepreneurs going through this right now. And they are HARD working moms – dads too!

And that’s when it hit me. The clouds just kind of rolled away.

It’s all about our own self worth. And when I say that, I mean how we truly value ourselves – not as business owners, but as human beings.

One of the things I tell my clients is that if YOU don’t believe you’re worth $500 an hour, no one else will either – including your family, friends and clients. Why should they, if yo can’t see your own value?

The other thing I recount time and again is the firm belief I have that YOU (as a business owner) are the single most important product your company has to offer. Period.

The problem (and the solution) comes in the belief. When a client believes (in their core) those two statements, I’ve seen incomes double or triple overnight. Literally. It’s kind of freaky, really. But when a client struggles to believe in their own value as a person, it echoes through every other piece of their being: business, family, life in general.

And THAT was the ‘ah-ha’ that brought it all together. I’ve been wanting my live event to be something remarkable. Not another “rah-rah” kind of thing, and certainly not a giant up-sell or pitchfest for some awkwardly presented ‘mastermind group’.

In short, I want it to be an event I would shell out my hard earned money to attend – no matter where it was. Something that made me feel like I was a better PERSON for being a part of it. Not to learn sales tactics, or new marketing trends, but ways to give my business and life more significance by recognizing my own value and what I brought to the world.

And I realized in that moment that the person I was trying to reach was more like me than I had ever care to admit.

Then I understood ‘why me.’

Today marks the first day in my LIFE that I think the man is stright up wrong and needs a brick upside his head.

And that could just be because my life experience is markedly different than his. Who knows.

In a recent post about why you should, or shouldn’t write a book, Seth makes a fatal generalization.

He says “Out of context, a 140 character tweet cannot change someone’s life.”

WRONG and WRONG.

I have never felt my skin crawl faster. And I LOVE Seth’s work. Really. I do!

I have read brilliant tweets. Short snippets from friends and strangers that have made course corrections in my own life.

Some had only the context of knowing the author (thank you @unmarketing, @chrisbrogan, @lkr, @elizabethPW, @tomziglar) – so by knowing them to some degree, I suppose that changes the “context” of things.

But others (because I occasionally DO read my ‘all tweets’ stream) were random people that I may or may know have any inkling of that said something funny, emotionally charged, or just made a life-altering statement.

Usually in 120 characters or less, because that way you can re-tweet.

And dear Mr. Godin, if you ever USED twitter, you might understand that.

I guess the thing that irritates me is also the salve to soothe me. See Seth has never used twitter, so his sideways assessment makes sense. He’s a writer/blogger at heart, so of course he’d make the assertion that blogs impact lives.

But to summarily write off a medium you’ve never used (except to broadcast his posts – I’ll get back to that in a minute), is a disservice to his readers.

One of the things that set me apart early on as a coach was that I didn’t spout off about things I didn’t understand. If I didn’t have wordpress experience, I didn’t talk about how great it was to my clients. I stuck to what I knew. When I fell in love with twitter, I shared with my clients how I was picking up THOUSANDS of dollars in my business because of it – and HOW I was doing it.

But NEVER (at least not that I can recall) have I ‘coached’ someone to do something that I hadn’t tried myself in some way.

And sorry, Seth, but I think this is a place where you have no leg to stand on. You’ve never used twitter as more than a placeholder or a broadcast mechanism for your blog – which is like being part of the twitter counterculture.

That said, I also want to point out how your one tweet (which was nothing more than a broadcast of your latest blog post), which included a link DID change me. your shiny veneer isn’t quite what it once was. Now, you could assert that because it was a blog link, that there’s a context to it, and that’s true. Perhaps if you actually used twitter, I could comment more accurately.

But there are other folks, like @ThomScott or @sundaycosmetics, @retrobakery who I either barely know or don’t know at all that just happened to post a thoughtful tweet one day, intrigued me, and pulled me into their universe. That’s the grand design of twitter. How can you say that DOESN’T change your life? I purposely linked to these folks because chances are good most of my readers have never heard of them either. Heck, I just read my first post by @retrobakery this morning. But it was enough to engage me and change me.

And yes, you could say that I’m spouting off about the value of my medium (twitter), just as Seth is spouting off about his medium (books). The difference is I’m not slamming his – even incidentally. And I HAVE written books. Working on two new ones now.

Seth is correct that “you must create enough leverage to make things happen” But it’s erroneous to assume that everyone needs a counterweight the size of Mount Olympus to move the load. Some of us can get by with less than 140 characters.

It depends on your definition of “enough”, I suppose.