When Things Get Tough
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First, my apologies for being out of touch, but I believe you deserve an explanation as to what’s going on over here at my offices.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a guest post for JulieAnne Jones’ blog about what to do when things get tough in your business. In it, I offer six tips for navigating tough times successfully. One of those is to be honest with your “tribe” when things aren’t perfect. So here goes…
You may or may not have already heard, but we did, in fact, cancel the live event that I had planned for this weekend.
The Renaissance Mom Experience was to be one of those “powerful, life changing events” – leaving a big impact on each of the attendees. At this point, I believe we have refunded everyone. If I missed you, please contact my team.
We’re still planning to do something in terms of a virtual event. That will begin on Sunday, August 29. If you are on the event notification list, you’ll learn more soon enough.
But in the meantime, I’m putting out all kinds of fires at headquarters. So many unexpected “emergencies” have developed (from cancelling the event and other things), that I’m doing all I can to keep my head on straight this week.
Like finding out that the IRS has fouled up every payroll tax filing for me for the past YEAR. So now we’re digging through the archives to clean up THEIR mess (Bonnie, if you’re reading this, don’t worry. Your payroll tax payments are fine, it’s the paper returns they’ve goofed up! No worries!)
And that’s just the tip of this week’s iceberg. Some of the issues directly impact me, others indirectly (like my bookkeeper’s family issues), but all of them are weighing heavy on me right now.
Which means all of my normal “routine” activities have gone by the wayside.
That’s the bad news.
Sorry, there’s no newsletter, no blog posts, and very little contact from me at the moment.
Add to that the fact that we’re closing the offices for the Labor Day Holiday and you can see I’m “up to my elbows in alligators” as an old friend used to say.
Our offices will be closed from September 2-7 (me and all the staff are taking time off. No promises on if we’ll be checking email much or voice mail at all). We’ll re-open on September 8.
There’s a reason my company’s logo is a phoenix.
Some awesome new products and services will be rolling out in September and later this fall. But between now and then, I’m going to be very hard to connect with as the dust settles from the fallout of this week.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Well, in all honesty, because I’ve been feeling like a fraud for NOT telling you sooner. I mean, I coach YOU to be completely transparent in your business and let your teams, your clients and your associates know what’s really going on. People know you’re not perfect, so to present that illusion to the world is tantamount to living a lie.
I would be a fraud to pretend that all is well in the land of Lisa this week. It’s not. Far from it.
But this, too, shall pass. And then, we’ll be back on track and right as rain.
Yes, you’ll be hearing from me in the interim, but not on any particular schedule. Those of you active in any of my coaching courses will see a delay in course delivery – BUT all content WILL be delivered. As always, you can email or call and we’ll do our best to help you with any questions you have, just realize it might take us longer than usual to reply – especially during the Labor Day holiday.
I’m doing everything in my power to keep all the promises I’ve made to everyone and not work myself to death in the process.
Lessons Learned
Every once in a while, you have to make time to take time to deal with life. I would be a fake and a phony if I didn’t practice what I preach.
I know there are at least a few people that would try to cover their tracks and put a marketing “spin” on something like this.
“We’ve decided to ‘go virtual’ to let more people experience the event.”
“Special pricing is open AGAIN – but only for twelve seconds.”
“Bring your friends, your dog, your cat, and a total stranger for FREE.”
“Get fifteen extra bonuses when you sign up before the sun sets today.”
Blah, blah, blech.
No can do. We priced this thing at an incredibly affordable rate (less than $1000 including your room and meals), so I’m not going to cheapen the value of the content by playing those games. The plain truth is that we didn’t sell enough tickets for me to justify keeping everyone’s money (including our awesome sponsors) to bring out these amazing speakers to share their story with a teensy weensy audience. I could have kept the money and played to an audience of twenty people, but it just felt inauthentic and unfair when we were touting this as a large scale event with about 300 people.
Other people may feel comfortable playing that game, but to me, it’s just dishonest and makes you look desperate.
If I were a speaker, I’d want a better return on my time investment. If I were a sponsor, I’d want all the eyeballs originally promised. As an attendee, I might be excited about a smaller, more intimate group, but I might be bummed that I wasn’t meeting enough people.
In business, you have to know when to cut your losses, and sometimes that means nixing a pet project. Cancelling this event was one of the top five heartbreaks of my life. Not because it meant losing income (it’s only money, after all), but because of the mission I still feel compelled to serve – to help mompreneurs bring balance to their life and their work without apologies.
Time and again, that was what I was hearing – apologies about how it was too far, too short notice, too many days, etc. Which tells me the idea was good, but the offer wasn’t good enough. But that’s another post for another day.
Simply put, I know there’s a demand for the material, so we’re working out a way to deliver a portion of the content from the live event in a virtual format starting August 29.
When you cancel an event like this, there are lots of egos to stroke and apologies to be made – and that’s just at my house! The stress my husband and I endured during the summer was epic. Cancelling the event led to all kinds of inquisitions, concerns, and arguments. Again, another post for another day.
Then there’s fees and contracts you have to honor. We’re still working on that.
And THEN the IRS rears their ugly head? Yeesh. Is it any wonder I need a break?
It’s created a lot of chaos, uproar, and difficulty that I simply can’t ignore. Nor would I want to, in truth. So I’m asking for your patience and a little understanding over the next couple of weeks. I’m not ignoring you. We’re just SWAMPED!
And to be clear, no one’s dying, and we’re not closing up shop any time soon. I just need a couple of weeks to get these fires put out and get business back on track.
The GOOD news, is that after the Labor Day holiday is over, we’ve got a TON of great things planned to help you make the last few months of the year your best ever. It pains me to have to wait to share it with you, but I’ve got to clear the path, first.
When the dust settles, there’s gonna be a major blog series about this, you can be sure.
Until then, there are a couple of things you might be interested in:
- If you’re in direct sales, we’ve got special pricing on the videos from Home Party Solution LIVE until August 31. This is the video from last year’s 3-day event. We go end-to-end through the book, with additional bonus content.
- Get registered for the virtual version of The Renaissance Mom Experience (free, even though the site’s not completely updated yet. It’s on the to-do list for the week)
- 30 Days to Renaissance (also free, you can register in the sidebar over there —>) is a 30-day e-course to help you get from Reluctance to Renaissance in your life and business. Just proves I try to practice what I preach.
LASTLY, if you have questions, concerns or comments, we ARE checking the email and the phone messages (and you can DM me on twitter). Just don’t expect an immediate response. Things are plain crazy here at the moment.
In more than a dozen years of business, I have never felt so much in a pressure cooker before. And if you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know how seriously I take my client relationships. For me to basically put business “on hold” to put out fires is a strong indicator of the level of chaos we’re feeling right now.
But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Thanks for your understanding.
Game Changers
Every other weekend, my husband and I make a 6-hour trek to visit our oldest son down in Ohio. My husband, being the shy sensitive type, is not one for much in the way of conversation, which makes these trips awkward at best. I, being the more talkative of the two of us, can get downright frustrated (to tears) when we travel for long stretches of highway with nary a word between us. Twelve hours of silence can really put me on edge!
But this weekend, we talked and talked and talked. And then we talked some more.
I had been praying for this breakthrough for a while. During the week before our departure, my husband suggested we create a list of topics to discuss on the trip so he could be “prepared”. Me? I don’t need preparation. I was great at impromptu debates and speeches in school. Give me a topic and I can talk for miles. Not so, my husband. So we made a long list. And we hit nearly every topic during our twelve hour ride.
We talked about football, politics, and my upcoming live event. We discussed marketing ideas, gardening, and the very sensitive topic of finances.
Then it happened: The Game Changer.
My husband said, in a somewhat off-hand manner, “I admit that choosing to keep our finances separate when we married was a mistake.”
Whoa.
I had to stop him. This seemingly trivial statement of hindsight changed the entire playing field of our marriage. Not only because he acknowledged making a mistake (draw your own conclusions, ladies), but because he vocalized it in a serious conversation with me.
I thanked him and observed how that small acknowledgment was actually a major Game Changer in our relationship. I then noted how often those kinds of off-hand, seemingly insignificant moments are the real Game Changers in our lives (and our businesses).
For me, there are BIG moments that changed my life – those are the easy ones to recall. Childbirth, marriage, moving across country, choosing a home-based career. Those are some of the defining moments of my life.
But let me tell you about a Game Changer that, once you hear the story, it might just change your mind about the details of your life.
I met my husband through an online dating service. We were ‘chatting’ and we planned to meet for the f
irst time, just an hour later. It was very impromptu, with no real planning behind it. He lived about an hour away, so I figured we had plenty of time to make it to the appointed destination, which was closer to my home than his.
Not only did he arrive slightly early, he held in his hand a flower he had picked up on the way.
That flower was a Game Changer and neither of us realized it until this past weekend.
You see my husband watched me to see how I responded to the flower. It was nice, and I thanked him for it. As the server came to our table, I asked for a glass of water (no ice) for the flower. I didn’t really know what else to do with it, since I didn’t want to put it on the chair or the table because it might get squished. So I cut the stem, right there in the restaurant, and placed it in a glass of water for the duration of our meal.
Doesn’t seem like much, does it?
But my husband was impressed with how I cared for that flower – how I almost seemed to cherish it. I didn’t see it as just a toss-away gesture that some guys make when they’re trying to impress a girl on a first date. I was impressed that he managed to be on time AND stopped on the way to bring me the flower. We didn’t plan it, so he didn’t have time to strategize, and he’s not one to just keep a flower on hand in case an “emergency date” turns up on his calendar.
That flower, that seemingly insignificant gesture, led to 9 dates in 2 weeks’ time. Nearly 7 years later, we have a 4 year old child and a 5 year old marriage that would not have happened, had it not been for that little flower.
Game Changers aren’t the huge, defining moments of our lives, but very often, they are the details that make the difference.
It’s the admission of guilt, which doesn’t change the damage done, but paves the way for forgiveness.
It’s the invitation extended to a stranger to join you for lunch, in an otherwise crowded cafeteria, that paves the way to a big business deal.
It’s the unexpected in the commonplace.
It’s a small kindness that pays a tremendous return – without expectation of any kind.
Those are the Game Changers. And I had a couple this weekend. You’ll learn more about them in the coming weeks, but be assured that these small details are everywhere – if we’re looking for them.
This Game Changer reconfigures our financial landscape. What that means exactly is still being determined, but it’s one more positive step in the process of becoming a true partnership, not just two people married to each other.
What are the Game Changers in your life? Can you point to the seemingly little things that made a big difference in who you are and what your life has meant? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below.
The Dichotomy of Me
Never permit a dichotomy to rule your life, a dichotomy in which you hate what you do so you can have pleasure in your spare time. Look for a situation in which your work will give you as much happiness as your spare time. - Pablo Picasso
Don’t misunderstand. I LOVE my work. I love the clients I coach, the flexibility I have to be with my family. There’s very little I don’t like…
…except having to choose between different projects. There’s only so much time in the day, and if I want to honor my family, and my client community, I have to be at least a little picky about projects I promote.
Many of you know I lead a sort of “double life”. I began my online career coaching direct sales professionals. Last year, I launched the Direct Sales Super Summit as a tool to help those clients (and others) achieve greater levels of success in their business. We had so much positive feedback, that we had to change the name to better reflect the audience. We now have about a 50/50 mix of direct sellers and small business owners. Changing the name was a tough call, but it enabled me to get folks like Jimmy Vee and Travis Miller to participate.
In that name change, though, was all kinds of anxiety for me. It meant stepping back from my direct sales focus and embracing the audience I now call home: business minded women and entrepreneurial moms.
The bulk of my clients are still direct sellers, but I’ve noticed that where other direct sales coaches and trainers often complain about how flaky their customers are, I have NEVER had that problem – okay, I had one customer that was a dork, but she flew the coop eons ago. My customers are loyal, honest, and willing to invest in themselves to grow a real business through their direct sales company.
Perhaps that’s the most important distinction: my clients see themselves as business owners. And yet, so much of the world still lumps all direct sellers into the “is this a pyramid scheme?” category.
So I’ve been torn between trying to be the champion of what I call “direct sales professionals” and working with entrepreneurs. The funny thing is, they are one and the same.
And I didn’t figure that out until just now.
I knew it internally. In my heart. I say it all the time – you are the business owner of “You, Inc.” and you need to run your direct sales business like a business and not an expensive hobby. But I also realize that message applies across the board to other entrepreneurs trying to get established in their industry: health coaches, theater owners, web designers, videographers, actors, author – you name it. You have to run a business with a focus on profit, otherwise, it’s an expensive hobby.
I’ve coached direct sellers, and I love it. I’ve also coached all the other clients I mentioned above. There doesn’t seem to be much correlation between them, does there?
Except for that “expensive hobby” concept.
So as I sit here writing this, it becomes even more apparent to me that I don’t need to decide between working with direct sales pros and entrepreneurs. In serving one, I am serving both.
Sure direct sales has a bit of lingo that goes along with it: bookings, recruits, shows, etc. But the principles are the same: create a sustainable business that will help my client achieve their goals, including flexibility of time, increased income, and the ability to live life on their terms.
That’s pretty much the same set of goals that most entrepreneurs have.
All this time, I’ve been told that I needed to choose. I couldn’t serve two masters. Managing two newsletters would be a challenge. As a result, I haven’t launched my newsletter for The Renaissance Mom community yet. I’ve been focusing on creating a separation between the two brands so that I could better ‘segment my market’ – whatever that’s supposed to mean.
The irony is that most of the direct sellers that read “PartyOn!” each week have also signed up to hear more about the Renaissance Mom – without much prompting on my part. And many of the people I expect to attend my live event this August are direct sales pros that are moms, who need to find balance in their lives, just like any other entrepreneurial mom.
Funny how that works.
So I’m all through with arm wrestling with myself – at least about this issue. There’s a box on the page where you can sign up for the new Renaissance Mom Newsletter (I’ve got to give it a name, though, I suppose). You can visit HomePartySolution.com to register for the newsletter for Direct Sales Pros, “PartyOn!”. Yep, that means I’m putting out two newsletters now. God help us all. I hope my assistant can handle all the spell checking.
It also means I’ll be launching new programs – maybe even at the same time. I have an entire system to help busy moms manage their lives and their business. I’ve been wanting to share it for almost a year now, and haven’t been able to find “the right time” to do it. Here’s a glimpse at the projects sitting on my desk that are ready, and just waiting for me to get them launched:
- Direct Sales 102: Sell More to Earn More
- The PEACE System: Do less, achieve more in 10-20 minutes a day
- Direct Sales 201: Core skills for Direct Sales Leaders
- The Renaissance Mom LIVE Event (okay, that’s happening in August, but we haven’t started selling tickets yet!)
These projects are pretty much in the can. But I’ve been grappling with timing things, sharing too much info, and overloading my readers with too many promos.
Ugh. Maybe I’m expecting too much from my list, but I think you’re smart enough to know what will work for you and what won’t. If I’m sending you too much email, you’ll let me know – (I try to keep it to 1 or 2 messages a week if you’re not in a current program). If you’re on multiple lists, I trust you know what you’re doing. If I’m totally up in the night, I’m going to trust that you’ll call me on it.
And if I’m wrong, I’ll get a flood of unsubscribes, and I’ll have to start from scratch.
Does that sound reasonable? Am I just a goofball for actually putting faith in my list of loyal subscribers? I’d love your feedback. Post a comment below and let me know what you think about the projects I’m planning. Sound good? Sound stupid? Your feedback matters.
Fearlessness
Sitting in a client meeting, something was said that made me cock my head like the dog in the old RCA Victor ads.
“I used to be like you.”
Of course, the thoughts that ran through my head were many. In what way was that meant? How is it my client was once like me? In what way?
I didn’t want to interrupt the train of thought, but that notion kept kicking at the back of my head.
So finally, as the conversation lulled, I brought my client back to the statement.
“What did you mean by ‘I used to be like you’?” I asked, in my best non-threatening tone of voice.
“Fearless.” was the reply. There was more to it than that, but that word really stuck in my head.
Me? Fearless?
Surely you jest. You certainly don’t know me very well.
So I put out a tweet. And one of my colleagues was quick to point out that she, too, thinks I’m fearless. Her definition, though, gave me a bit more peace. She said that I “feel the fear and do it anyway”, which to me, is not the same thing. But I understood where she was coming from.
Once again, definitions make a difference.
My comment back to her was that I am a “walking steamer trunk o’ fear”. And in that statement, a flurry of replies and DM’s made me feel as if some ancient mystery had been revealed.
When things are going well for me, my brain whirs with all the proactive “what if’s” that allow me to predict, plan and adapt my business to the changing landscape around me. When things aren’t going well, I’m looking for solutions to improve the situation, turn the tide in my business, and bring myself to a new level of excellence.
That’s a fancy way of saying my brain is always spinning with ideas – when things are going well or not. A lot of that activity is because I know that if I slow down for just a single second, fear will grip me, root me to the spot, and pull me into the earth like some bad horror flick.
I wake up in the morning full of doubts, worries, anxieties and fears. Most of them are drowned out by the other noises in my head or my extra long to-do list that I create just to distract my head. I get a lot accomplished, because I’m afraid to sit still. Afraid life will pass me by.
Afraid, afraid, afraid. It’s like a rope tightly wound around my neck.
Funny thing about saying a word over and over again – it starts to lose it’s meaning. The letters start to stand alone, and the sounds blur together.
I was raised with the notion that if you want something done, and done well, you’ve got to do it yourself. Delegation has been a huge obstacle for me. Afraid I wouldn’t get things out on time, afraid projects wouldn’t be done to my standards, etc. I decided to get help. Now, I have a great team of people (that’s growing) to support me as we grow this business.
Afraid, afraid, a-frayed.
I was told that if I wanted to make something happen in the world, I couldn’t sit idly by – I had to go out and take action on things. So I emailed, tweeted, and connected with people I thought would be good people to know. I was afraid they’d make fun of me, afraid they’d ignore me, if I just approached them blindly. So I hired them, worked with them, promoted them, and in return, they’ve become amazing people to know – and great resources for my own business.
Afraid, a-frayed, a-frayed.
I was told that I could be anything I wanted to be, if I truly wanted to make it happen. So I did what my Momma told me, and started shaping my life to my own standard. I was afraid it wouldn’t work out, that things would fall apart, and that my life would be a freaking huge disaster. It’s a work in progress, admittedly. Considering the alternative, I am pleased with my direction. Yes, I face setbacks, and things don’t always go the way I planned, but more often than not, they do – or something better appears. Something that I never even DREAMED for myself just steps into my field of view. And I see a new goal on the horizon that looks delicious and keeps me in hot pursuit. In fact, I’ve pretty much realized that with enough faith and tenacity, anything is possible.
A-frayed, a-frayed, a-frayed.
And when the rope’s all frayed, it isn’t very strong.
I’ve learned in the past year, that the biggest obstacle between where I want my life to be, and where I am presently, are the beliefs and values that I hold for myself. More to the point, it’s the beliefs and values I hold for myself that are out of alignment with -or disconnected from – the image of who I really want to be in the world.
And it’s fear that stands in the gap.
Fear is an emotional response that has it’s own rules of logic. When I figured that out, it became relatively easy (and difficult) to overcome some of those fears. It takes time, and lots of ammunition, but it’s possible.
That doesn’t make me fearless, unless you mean to say I have less fear now than I did before. There are still things I’m not ready to face in my life. Things I’m putting off for another day. I like to tackle the low-hanging fruit first. The funny thing is that just by tackling the low hanging fruit, I’ve made tremendous leaps in my business in the past two years.
What is your low-hanging fear? What’s one of the seemingly small fears that seizes you up from time to time? What can you do to take the emotion out of that fear and slowly chip away at it until you have a belief that matches the person you want to be in the world?
Take that step. However small or insignificant it may seem. Take it.
Along the highway, there’s a tree growing out of a rock out in the arid Intermountain West – where the old railway lines used to run. The story I was told goes like this:
A train engineer was chugging along and saw this sapling sprout in the rock. Each time he passed the rock he would water the sapling. Eventually, other engineers would shower water on the rock as they passed. Over time, that sapling sent out deep roots, split the rock enough that it could survive, and now, a full grown, albeit twisted and weatherbeaten, tree grows out of this boulder.
The tree is either your fear or your faith. The rock is either your faith or your fear. It all depends on your perception.
Diagnosis: You and Fear
In working with my inaugural class of clients for The Power of Focus project, the biggest reports coming in from the field show that fear keeps rearing it’s ugly head.
“Am I doing this right?”
“How do I know if I’m doing this right?”
That old demon, fear is rearing it’s ugly head again, tyring to keep you from realizing your greatness.
The fact is, the only way to know if you’re doing anything right is by actually doing it! Otherwise, you’re not doing ANYTHING!
It struck a chord when I read Seth Godin’s blog this morning. Read Everything Is Not Going To Be Okay and you’ll understand what I mean.
We all walk around wondering, hoping and wishing for someone to tell us that we’re on the right path – and that we’re doing the right thing.
As moms, we’re especially vulnerable. I remember when I first brought my son home from the hospital (who’s now a teenager). I said to my friends, “I wish babies came with instruction manuals.”
I was met with comforting words and encoruagement that I was “going to be a great mom.” and that I “would know what to do instinctively.”
They were wrong.
I struggled and struggled at trying to figure out how to be a mom. It’s like pouring salt on a snail and watching him shrivel up. That’s how I felt each and every day of his young life. I wasn’t prepared for 2am feedings when I had to be to work the next day. I didn’t understand why I had to pay for a week of day care if teh kid was only there for three days. There was so much that was pretty much left to chance when my son was small that I began to feel like I was doing everything wrong.
So I came home, where my family offered a modicum of support.
Whether that was “the best” choice or not, I’ll never know, but it was the only one I felt I had at the time. Doing what you believe to be right in the moment is sometimes all you have to go on. Questioning that decsion only leads to indecision, stagnation, and more fear.
What happened when I returned? It was like being a child all over again – being told what to do and how I was doing everything wrong. I remember one of my aunts telling me my child would end up in prison if I kept on raising him the way I was.
Of course, that was before his diagnosis. Before the diagnosis, I was viewed as a horrible mother with a problem child. After the diagnosis, I was “doing the best I could in a situation with a special needs child”.
Funny how the dime turned, huh? I thought so, anyway.
So here’s your diagnosis: You’re doing the best you can in your given situation. Don’t let the unknowing, disapproving looks from family or friends screw with your brain. You’ll never know if what you’re doing is the perfect solution to any problem until the end of time, when you look back and assess the full value of the life you’ve lived. If you spend all your time now wondering, you’ll never live the life you were called to fulfill.
Fear likes to keep you in a space where it thinks you’re safe. Hey, you’re not dead yet, so you must be doing okay. That’s hogwash. Fear doesn’t understand that you need to take a step or a leap out of your “comfort zone” to be the person - the mom, the busness owner – you truly want to be. It only understands that you’re trying something new, something it hasn’t experienced before, and what if everything isn’t okay?
It won’t be okay. It will be uncomfortable at best and excruciatingly painful at worst. Just know it, accept it, and plow through. There’s fear in the doing, but most often, hen we come out on the other side of the doing, we are much better for the experience.
Coolest Girl on the Planet becomes The Renaissance Mom
For about a year now, I’ve held the title of “Coolest Girl on the Planet” accrding to Google.
Trust me, I don’t pretend to think I really AM the coolest girl on this or any planet. It was merely an attempt to usurp the title as an SEO challenge – much like those guys that try to be “the coolest guy on the planet”.
When my old site explodes at the end of the month, along with it goes the old title – as far as I know. I’ve been competing with a cute baby for the last 6 months or so – actually her father – in a neck-and-neck race to secure the top spot on Google. She had me beat for about a week, but when I realized what happened, I quickly regained my title.
But I’m relinquishing the crown.
Perhaps I’m growing up. Perhaps not.
In any case, The Coolest Girl on the Planet will no longer be me. I have instead claimed a new title: The Renaissance Mom.
Thus, the blog has a new look. I still have the Direct Sales Marketing Online blog, and will keep that content focused over there. I’ll also be guest blogging for Working Mother magazine in the near future (can’t wait for that!). This site will deal with other facets of who I am and what I do in the world, and will become my primary point of communication/exposition in the world.
Why the change?
Well, if you have a look at my bio, you’ll see there’s a lot more to me than just direct sales or being a mom. So much that it’s been a challenge to feel like I’m fully living out my purpose and passion in the world with the pigeonhole I’ve been trying to cram myself into.
No longer. Being cool was fun – and I still intend to exude my coolness as only I know how. But going forward, I’m reborn, and this new iteration is an evolutionary step towards the big things that are coming next in 2010 and beyond.
You have been warned.