Posts Tagged "self care"

Training Wheels

Posted by LisaYoung in Big Ideas, Family | 6 comments

I live in a house full of testosterone. Two boys (three, if you count my husband) can really push you to your limits sometimes. They’re “all boy” and sometimes a bit too competitive. My sons were born about 10 years apart, tho, which makes some of the competition rather comical.

Take my youngest, for example. He’s been wanting to ride a “big boy bike” for years now. And I’m not talking about a 10-speed. He wants a motorcycle. Why? Because my teenager does, of course.

Other Gifts

Posted by LisaYoung in Fun | 2 comments

No birthday hangovers here.

In fact, the birthday wasn’t much different from every other day this year. I had promised myself to take the day off, but it just wasn’t very convenient to do so.

So I walked the kid to school, and worked on website issues with my tech team, and dealt with a few “fires” that had to be put out.

It was pretty much an uneventful birthday.

At first, this did not set well with me. See, I’m an action taker – a DO-er – and sitting around NOT doing what I wanted to do kind of pissed me off.

400 Words

Posted by LisaYoung in Fun |

Mittened fingers, holding my hand as we walk – in freezing cold – 3/4 of a mile, counting squirrels, identifying trees, and learning about traffic, stop lights, dirty snow (don’t eat it, for crying out loud!).

Oily fingers, warm, gliding across my back, shoulders, neck. Releasing tension, stress, anxiety of a long day, week, month, year.

Calloused fingers, gingerly placing a hot cup of coffee at my seat, serving a slice of 7’4″ Chocolate cake at my favorite restaurant of all time (so far) after a satisfying and sumptuous meal with family, friends, and a festive holiday glow.

Rough, dry fingers, toting the lights up the ladder, mounting the fixtures, positioning the “special”, and prepping the light board, the sound board, the floor boards, set and props – for my grand entrance.

Small fingers, learning to nimbly ply the crayon, pen or writing implement of the day, forming shapes into letters, words. “I Love You Mommy.” “I wish I had a puppy.”

Adroit fingers, deftly maneuvering and navigating the twists and turns of a musical passage> Playing sweetly, violently, turbulently, soothingly, the melodies of Mozart, Mancini, Sinatra, Garland, Madonna, Sting, Billy Joel, and countless others.

Thunderous fingers, clapping, waving, cheering a fine performance. Shaking hands, and offering heartfelt congratulations for a job well done.

Tired fingers, turning page after page after page or book after book after book. Gleaning new knowledge, new understanding, new ways of seeing the world.

Sacred fingers, poised in prayer, palms together, or facing up to the sky, waiting for Divine guidance, space, and light to flow in.

Aching fingers, longing to release their grip after the third set of fifteen reps. Arched backs, s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g out after a strong, hearty workout.

Scabbed, scratchy, windburned fingers, with countless hours spent cutting, carving, sanding, and preparing a special gift. Burning the wood (and sometimes his skin) to etch the words “I Love My Mom” into a heart-shaped block of red oak.

Pointed fingers, aimed at one who recognizes their own value as the “ah-ha” light bulb comes on in their head, and we make progress on their goals.

Nimble fingers, counting the money, the ideas, the successes of their action plans.

Tightened fingers, wrapped around a plane ticket, passport, suitcase. The hope of unseen things and delight of traveling to new places – overseas and my own country, too.

Raindrops and roses have nothing on these favorite things.

Firing Clients, Friends and Colleagues

Posted by LisaYoung in Big Ideas, Faith |

It’s been a whirlwind week for me.

I’m in the throes of the Small Biz Super Summit, along with a new client project, and preparing for the launch of a new division of my business.

And I get an email from a client, angry with me for “violating her privacy”.

The claim was unfounded, and after resolving the misunderstanding, I finally decided to let her go.

Yes, I fired my client.

You are FIRED!

See, there comes a time in your business life where enduring the stress and strain of some clients isn’t worth ANY sum of money. Some of you have heard me say this before, but I wanted to let you know that I still face this issue from time to time – despite my well-crafted Perfect-Fit Customer Profiles.

Not only did this client email me with false accusations, she also launched into a tirade in a group forum of her company, where other people could hear her rant (and later report back to me), but I could not offer the slightest commentary on the situation.

Instead of coming directly to the source of the issue (presumably me), she chose to make a spectacle of herself in front of other potential clients.

Let’s be clear: I have a loyalty to my clients. I also have a loyalty to my family. If you try to prevent me from earning a living to feed my family, my loyalty dries up like so much old paint.

There are a number of lessons from this event, which I’ll save for another post. But then, I had to fire a colleague.

At one time, this person and I traveled in relatively similar circles. I shared my book with her, and invited her into my community to share her wisdom. Over time, our paths diverged in the wilderness, but I still kept some contact with her and thought of her as a colleague I would refer business to.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

She “wrote” a post on her blog, and tweeted out the link. Because the title was a direct quote of something I say ALL the time, I thought it was worth checking out, and possibly sharing with my own audience.  It was a great post. She had pulled much of the content straight out of my book – with a few additions (presumably of her own) to make it her own.

I was shocked. Firstly because I knew this thief. Secondly, because I really didn’t think that much of myself that someone would want to steal my stuff (that’s another post all unto itself).

There are stories like this all over the place. The first one that comes to mind is Jeff Slutsky’s story about Office Depot using his “six dollar haircut” story in an ad that ran last year. Slutsky, however, had a happier ending than I believe I will.

Not only did this “colleague” plagiarize my work, but when I commented on her blog with a “great post” kind of remark, it was deleted.

So not only did she steal my stuff, she KNEW she was stealing it and, frankly, didn’t seem to care.

At first, I tried to relax and ignore it. But this nagging feeling wouldn’t go away. Especially since this same person had publicly remarked at an earlier point in our business lives that she felt that at some point everything she ever learned became “hers” to teach as her own.

I consulted my amazingly grounded and insightful coach, @SarahRobinson, who indicated that while she was not surprised at the person in question, that it was mostly sapping my energy in a way that wouldn’t give me resolution.

So I fired my “colleague”. Putting more distance between us, and spending as little energy as possible on the situation.

Tip: Nobody “just knows” everything. We all learn from someone. Give credit where credit is due, folks.

Thinking I was finished with all the firing for a single week, I then had to fire a friend.

This person was fairly close to me, and sadly, known to be a bit out of control emotionally. Their behavior could get pretty outrageous at times, and if alcohol was involved, well, let’s just say only the sober people in the room would remember what happened.

This person is an incredibly smart, insightful, enjoyable person, with an enormous heart and fiercely loyal – until their emotional issues rear their ugly head(s). It gets so bad that they start to believe their own lies as truths. It’s been going on for years – longer than I’ve even known them.

Well, the lies finally caught up this week. And I couldn’t be there to help fix the problem. The problem was really beyond fixing. All enabling had to stop, and the truth had to be revealed.

I had entrusted this friend with a special task, and that task remains undone. The good news is that I wasn’t counting on them to complete the task, and had a back-up plan in place. The bad news is that I wasn’t counting on this friend to complete the task, and had a back-up plan in place.

So when word got around that they were playing around doing other things instead of focusing on the task they committed to, I fired the friend.

Well, a temporary lay-off, anyway.

We can be as well-meaning as we want to be, but when you make a commitment, in my mind, you stick to it. Come Hell or high water.

And lest you see this as an incredibly downer post, I want to assure you that I firmly believe that God is nudging me to create space to accommodate newer, better, more constructive relationships in my life and work.

I can already see it happening. With the awesome help of my coach (did you see her Relationships project?), and the internal journey I’m travelling, there are new friends on the horizon, new clients on the books, and better colleagues to forge ahead with (ending a sentence with a preposition, ACK!).

Bring. It. On.

MacGyver Me, Please

Posted by LisaYoung in Big Ideas, Faith, Fun, videos | 5 comments