In fact, the birthday wasn’t much different from every other day this year. I had promised myself to take the day off, but it just wasn’t very convenient to do so.

So I walked the kid to school, and worked on website issues with my tech team, and dealt with a few “fires” that had to be put out.

It was pretty much an uneventful birthday.

At first, this did not set well with me. See, I’m an action taker – a DO-er – and sitting around NOT doing what I wanted to do kind of pissed me off.

Add to that the fact that my husband didn’t even have a birthday card for me that morning (he came home with one, though), and the day was NOT going to my liking.

I’m kind of crabby right now about my husband’s new work schedule. Last year, his schedule allowed him to pick our youngest son up from school each afternoon, giving me an opportunity to finish up my work before they got home, have dinner ready, and spend the evening doing at least one family-oriented activity together.

But now, I’m doing the dropping off and the picking up. At first, I thought I’d be okay with that (God knows I could use the exercise!), but yesterday was my birthday, and I was feeling a bit crabby about it, to be frank. In between, I’d squeeze in some “me” time by hanging out on social media and checking my email (yep, that’s what I do for fun. I’m strange. I know).

Well, my inbox (which hasn’t had fewer than 500 unread messages in years) had no less than three emails from coaching clients indicating a problem with the website.

Joy.

Now, I could have easily ignored these emails – I had told them I was taking the day off, after all. But that’s not how I roll.

You can scold me later. Right now I have a story to finish.

So I put the word out to my tech people to see what the dealio was. And then I started kicking myself for reading emails on my “day off”.

See? I told you to scold me later!

Anywho, the rest of the afternoon went by uneventfully, as I tried to step away from the computer and “enjoy” myself.

But I couldn’t. I was hurting too much.

I didn’t realize it until today, but that’s why I was glued to my computer.

See, pulling myself away from my electronics would have forced me to feel the uncomfortableness and isolation I was experiencing. It would have allowed the resentment, pain and tears to rise to the surface, and then I would have started bitching and moaning about how it was my birthday, and my husband didn’t even get me a card and all that crap.

Yeah. That.

And quite frankly, because it was my birthday, I didn’t WANT to feel that way. So I stuck my nose in my laptop until it was time to walk to the school and pick up the kid. We walked home. I read him a story, and I let him watch Netflix while I went back to trying to troubleshoot the website issue.

And then my husband walked in with a grocery bag. He was late coming home because he was at the store, picking up my birthday card among other things, and had forgotten that I wanted to go visit my friend Rhonda’s shop that evening. Actually, I have to take some ownership for that, because I didn’t put it on the calendar on the fridge. Mostly because I had been talking about it all freaking week.

So when he got home, I went by myself.

Apparently the City of Flint did not get the memo about it being my birthday, because there wasn’t a single place to park on the whole block. So I drove around and parked a block up.

I walked into the shop – bustling with activity, as I was there for a special event. A spirited gathering of spiritual seekers, this group was quite a cross-section of the community: young, old, black, white, wealthy, poor. It was a delicious mingling of kindred spirits.

THIS was how I wanted my birthday to be.

I’m reminded of the passage in the bible about the wedding, where “good people” were invited, but didn’t come, and how the king was so enraged, he decided to invite “just anyone” off the street who could get there to attend.

Not that I’m a king or anything of the sort.

But here, in a room of mostly strangers, they sang to me. And I cried, which is sappy, but hey, I’m cute like that.

It was sad and wonderful all at the same time.

It reinforced for me the need to create what I want myself instead of waiting for someone else to bestow it on my behalf. It highlighted how I’ve been using my computer to self-medicate and distract myself from really feeling what I’m experiencing.

It clarified so many things for me. My birthdays tend to do that.

So I’ve got some work to do. And the good news is that I’m not doing alone. I’ve been blessed with pretty cool friends – and apparently some pretty cool strangers – to help me on the journey. And you’ll be along for that ride too, if you’re here with me.

So what’s all this babble got to do with you? Well, think about this: where are you distracting yourself from really living your life?

Why?

What are you going to do about it?

I saw it in a book I picked up the other day, and I cringed.

“God (or universe, or spirit, or whatever)“

Right there in black and white, the author was apologizing for believing in God. He didn’t outright say it, but I see it more and more as we strive for “correctness” and “tolerance” we’re watering down our own faith stance to accommodate others.

In fact, I’ve side-stepped it myself. Couching God in safe, generic terms like “universe” or “spirit” or something equally mundane.

Thus, the guilt.

Godly enough, I got my first pimp-slap of the year today from my new friend, Leesa Barnes. Her evolutionary post about ‘breaking a hinge‘ ends with a quote from the first book of Kings.

Yes, from the Bible.

It was not an intentional slap, I know, because we’ve talked recently about this almost unspoken undercurrent of unrest in the marketplace. In our conversations, we shared scriptures, ideas, rantings, complaints, and even some of our more personal beliefs about things like God. I shared my recent discovery of Bruce Barton and his writings about Jesus as one of the most accomplished businessmen in the world.

You can call God whatever you like, but for me, I specifically choose God, so please don’t ask me to use something else.

Reading that scripture was a holy awakening to me, and a reminder of our recent conversation.

Well-meaning colleagues and friends have strongly encouraged me to keep my faith to myself or at the very least “tone it down” for general consumption.

God isn’t for general consumption.

Not everyone can handle His message. Not everyone wants to hear that message. I get that.

For as many times as I’ve said “your business is an extension of who you are” it’s even more imperative that I vocalize that my faith is also an extension, if not the very definition, of who I am.

I’m not claiming perfection or blamelessness here, and I think anyone that knows me, knows this to be true.

I screw up a LOT.

I’m also open to God’s direction. Often doing things that don’t seem to make sense to other people because I feel called to serve in a particular capacity.

And I’m not the only one.

There’s a revolution happening. I hesitate to say “behind the scenes” because it’s not so behind the scenes lately. They’re coming out of the woodwork. Business owners tired of the lies, the fakery, the illusions of success gilt to a thin veneer – that crumble all too easily.

They’re tired of having to tip-toe around anyone not of their faith so as not to be seen as a Bible-thumping, teetotaling puritan in conservative clothing.

That ain’t me. I don’t force-feed anyone my truth. You have the option to bail any time you like.

But you DON’T have that option if I’ve never given it to you. So I’m extending it now.

My 60-day journey ends soon. Signs of land are approaching, and all the details are coming soon, I promise. Some things have been tortuous; others, miraculous. All of them necessary to pave the way for the big things God has planned for me in 2011.

And I’m not the only one. The revolutionaries are all around you. You may even be one of them. Trying to figure out how to cross the chasm between God and your message in the marketplace. Trying to figure out where to tread so that you tread lightly enough to not set off a few land mines along the way. I’m meeting more and more people with that same sticking point.

Screw it.

Stop “tippin on cotton” and lay it out there. That was the message I got today, so I lay it before you now. You’re going to make mistakes, people aren’t going to understand, and yes, a few people will probably even call you names.

Jesus had it a LOT worse than that, didn’t he?

As an intuitive coach (and that’s the first time I’ve publicly said that), I pray before every coaching session and ask God to guide me so that I can provide the best possible help to my clients when I am working with them. I don’t ask “universe” or “spirit” to channel through me, I ask for God’s help.

Why should I hide that from my clients? Kind of a pertinent detail, don’t you think?

Likewise, when I screw up, it’s God that I turn to for help, guidance, forgiveness and direction. And many of my clients do as well. Instead of it being a bone of contention, it actually becomes an endearing quality to those that work most closely with me. Why should I deny it?

There are those who have said to me that I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face – essentially eliminating a portion of my “target market” by making a public declaration of my faith.

Isn’t that the point of target marketing? If people don’t want to work with me as I am, then they’re NOT my target market, correct?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying God is a marketing ploy, a strategy, or a tactic to be “used” to grow my business.

I’m talking about transparency, ethics, and the truth that my clients deserve.

Maybe you don’t want to work with a coach that prays for you. You have a right to know that. Maybe you don’t want to hear stories of “divine downloads” or how putting God at the center of everything in my life (including my business) is radically changing everything in my world.

You have a right to know, before you invest your dollars with me, how I do what I do – and WHY I do what I do.

You don’t have to believe it, but if you don’t even know what it is in the first place, you have no idea what you’re paying for.

So tonight, as I lay my head down and wrap the first day of this new year, I’ll be offering up prayers, re-dedicating everything to God for 2011, and beyond.

Prayers that this year will be infinitely better than last year.

Prayers that abundance is something you truly feel, not just a buzz word that people banter around.

Prayers that your life will be enriched in more ways than you can count on all your phalanges.

Prayers to bless all the other revolutionaries making their leap across the chasm this year.

Prayers for my life, my faith, my business, clients, family, friends… and YOU.

Indiana Jones was lucky enough to have John Williams write his anthem.

My composition skills are a little rusty, and frankly, I was too busy this year to compose my own anthem. Maybe next year.

With just under 45 days on my boat trip to the shores of adventure (where I’ll burn my ship), I’m starting to feel queasy. To distract myself from scuttling the journey all together, I’m considering what my anthem will be for 2011.

In October last year, I had my first-ever annual planning session for my business (yeah, I know. That’s another topic for another day). At that session, I picked one word to define what 2010 would be all about.

Uncommon.

That was my goal, my single-minded objective. I wanted to build a life (and a business) that reflected that word. I made an inspiring little video, and trimmed my sails for the “uncommon” adventure.

“What if there’s something bigger for me out there
Than the comfort of a life on this middle ground?
I’ve played it safe but now I can’t help but wonder
If maybe I’ve been missing out,
Cause I look around and see a sea of people.
Everybody’s moving in the same direction,
And I think it’s time for me to break away…”

Careful what you wish for.

When I returned from that planning retreat, my world was literally up-ended as problems with my oldest son escalated. His anger and violence degraded into petty theft, property destruction and more than one visit from the neighborhood police. To stop things before he ended up in jail (or worse), we enrolled him in a wilderness camp for emotionally troubled boys. It was about this time last year we took him off all his medications and one month later, placed his day-to day care in the incredibly capable hands of some compassionate men in Ohio.

In a day, he’ll come home for his longest “visit” yet. Home visits are usually a couple of days, and “test the waters” to determine if a child’s ready to re-enter the family setting. The holidays bring him home twice in roughly a 4 week period. In the next month, he’ll be home for nearly two weeks.

I’m scared.

Scared it’s going to be horrible, terrible, and the worst holiday ever.

I’m scared that it’s going to be incredible. Wonderful, fantastic, amazing, happy and the best holiday ever – and then he’ll return to camp for another winter.

All year, he’s been splitting wood, sleeping on a plywood “bed” outdoors, building tents, learning about the big, wild, outdoors, and working on some incredibly challenging goals.

Without me.

Yeah, I write letters, and send him “stuff” and tell him I love him. But it’s hard. Damn hard. I know grown ups that can’t achieve some of the goals he’s set for himself – like learning to have a good attitude even when things don’t go his way.

This will be the first year I won’t celebrate his birthday with him. He’ll be 14, and I won’t be there.

“What if the right thing was harder than the wrong thing
But I did it anyway?
Standing strong even when no one else was watching.
What if I really lived that way?”

When I was a kid, I couldn’t fathom a parent that would “give up” their kids, send them away, or just let go and not be a part of their child’s life. To me, it seemed like the ultimate admission of defeat, tantamount to being a bad parent that couldn’t care less about their kid.

Then, I became one of those moms.

“What if I made it to the end of my days here
only to find that my legacy was nowhere to be found?
I don’t want to waste another second.
Give me the strength to start right now.”

I rearranged everything in my life to accommodate the 6 hour drive (one way) to Ohio every other weekend. The parent meetings, reviews, pick-ups, drop-offs, and every chance there was to catch even a glimpse of my kid on the few hours this year I was able to spend with him.

It’s still hard. I’m learning things I never knew about my kid, my spouse, myself. I recognize I wasn’t the best mom for my kid – and I did the best I could with what I had and what I knew. Now that I know better, I’m trying to do better, to be better, to love better.

“I don’t care if it makes me look different.
I’m never letting go of my convictions.
Let the world see the life I’m living and call it Uncommon.
I’m done with the easy way out.”

In a previous post, I discovered my super power, and made the realization that I do things the hard way – but harder’s not always better. “Harder” is what you do out of necessity. “Harder” is why faith was birthed in us: nurtured by some, shunned by others.

Faith makes “harder” easier to bear when we can’t find “easier”.

I don’t like “harder” any more than the next guy, really. I’d much prefer a little “easier” for a while. It appears, however, when you’re on that boat to your next big adventure, that the waters may be pretty choppy. Remember to pack the Dramamine and keep rolling.

“I want to finally take the road less traveled.
I want to run away from anything typical.
I want the world to see the life I’m living and call it Uncommon.”

As I stare down the barrel of the next 35 years of my life, I recognize that the bar I set, the “wish” I make, the goal I set may be hard, but it’s  far easier than sitting still and doing nothing.

“Every heart has it’s defining moment.
This is mine and I’m not going to miss it“

I’ve made a short list, realizing that whatever anthem I select really will shape and color what next year will look like.

Fear not, no rose-colored “wonderful world” stuff here. I’m thinking more along the lines of breaking barriers, building on the super-hero-in-training work I’m doing here.

Something to live up to.

Something to make the greatest impact in my life in all the right ways.

Something to think about.