When Things Get Tough

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First, my apologies for being out of touch, but I believe you deserve an explanation as to what’s going on over here at my offices.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a guest post for JulieAnne Jones’ blog about what to do when things get tough in your business. In it, I offer six tips for navigating tough times successfully. One of those is to be honest with your “tribe” when things aren’t perfect. So here goes…

You may or may not have already heard, but we did, in fact, cancel the live event that I had planned for this weekend.

The Renaissance Mom Experience was to be one of those “powerful, life changing events” – leaving a big impact on each of the attendees. At this point, I believe we have refunded everyone. If I missed you, please contact my team.

We’re still planning to do something in terms of a virtual event. That will begin on Sunday, August 29. If you are on the event notification list, you’ll learn more soon enough.

But in the meantime, I’m putting out all kinds of fires at headquarters. So many unexpected “emergencies” have developed (from cancelling the event and other things), that I’m doing all I can to keep my head on straight this week.

Standing at the crossroads of chaos.Like finding out that the IRS has fouled up every payroll tax filing for me for the past YEAR. So now we’re digging through the archives to clean up THEIR mess (Bonnie, if you’re reading this, don’t worry. Your payroll tax payments are fine, it’s the paper returns they’ve goofed up! No worries!)

And that’s just the tip of this week’s iceberg. Some of the issues directly impact me, others indirectly (like my bookkeeper’s family issues), but all of them are weighing heavy on me right now.

Which means all of my normal “routine” activities have gone by the wayside.

That’s the bad news.

Sorry, there’s no newsletter, no blog posts, and very little contact from me at the moment.

Add to that the fact that we’re closing the offices for the Labor Day Holiday and you can see I’m “up to my elbows in alligators” as an old friend used to say.

Our offices will be closed from September 2-7 (me and all the staff are taking time off. No promises on if we’ll be checking email much or voice mail at all). We’ll re-open on September 8.

There’s a reason my company’s logo is a phoenix.

Some awesome new products and services will be rolling out in September and later this fall. But between now and then, I’m going to be very hard to connect with as the dust settles from the fallout of this week.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Well, in all honesty, because I’ve been feeling like a fraud for NOT telling you sooner. I mean, I coach YOU to be completely transparent in your business and let your teams, your clients and your associates know what’s really going on. People know you’re not perfect, so to present that illusion to the world is tantamount to living a lie.

I would be a fraud to pretend that all is well in the land of Lisa this week. It’s not. Far from it.

But this, too, shall pass. And then, we’ll be back on track and right as rain.

Yes, you’ll be hearing from me in the interim, but not on any particular schedule. Those of you active in any of my coaching courses will see a delay in course delivery – BUT all content WILL be delivered. As always, you can email or call and we’ll do our best to help you with any questions you have, just realize it might take us longer than usual to reply – especially during the Labor Day holiday.

I’m doing everything in my power to keep all the promises I’ve made to everyone and not work myself to death in the process.

Lessons Learned

Every once in a while, you have to make time to take time to deal with life. I would be a fake and a phony if I didn’t practice what I preach.

I know there are at least a few people that would try to cover their tracks and put a marketing “spin” on something like this.

“We’ve decided to ‘go virtual’ to let more people experience the event.”
“Special pricing is open AGAIN – but only for twelve seconds.”
“Bring your friends, your dog, your cat, and a total stranger for FREE.”
“Get fifteen extra bonuses when you sign up before the sun sets today.”

Blah, blah, blech.

No can do. We priced this thing at an incredibly affordable rate (less than $1000 including your room and meals), so I’m not going to cheapen the value of the content by playing those games. The plain truth is that we didn’t sell enough tickets for me to justify keeping everyone’s money (including our awesome sponsors) to bring out these amazing speakers to share their story with a teensy weensy audience. I could have kept the money and played to an audience of twenty people, but it just felt inauthentic and unfair when we were touting this as a large scale event with about 300 people.

Other people may feel comfortable playing that game, but to me, it’s just dishonest and makes you look desperate.

If I were a speaker, I’d want a better return on my time investment. If I were a sponsor, I’d want all the eyeballs originally promised. As an attendee, I might be excited about a smaller, more intimate group, but I might be bummed that I wasn’t meeting enough people.

In business, you have to know when to cut your losses, and sometimes that means nixing a pet project. Cancelling this event was one of the top five heartbreaks of my life. Not because it meant losing income (it’s only money, after all), but because of the mission I still feel compelled to serve – to help mompreneurs bring balance to their life and their work without apologies.

Time and again, that was what I was hearing – apologies about how it was too far, too short notice, too many days, etc. Which tells me the idea was good, but the offer wasn’t good enough. But that’s another post for another day.

Simply put, I know there’s a demand for the material, so we’re working out a way to deliver a portion of the content from the live event in a virtual format starting August 29.

When you cancel an event like this, there are lots of egos to stroke and apologies to be made – and that’s just at my house! The stress my husband and I endured during the summer was epic. Cancelling the event led to all kinds of inquisitions, concerns, and arguments. Again, another post for another day.

Then there’s fees and contracts you have to honor. We’re still working on that.

And THEN the IRS rears their ugly head? Yeesh. Is it any wonder I need a break?

It’s created a lot of chaos, uproar, and difficulty that I simply can’t ignore. Nor would I want to, in truth. So I’m asking for your patience and a little understanding over the next couple of weeks. I’m not ignoring you. We’re just SWAMPED!

And to be clear, no one’s dying, and we’re not closing up shop any time soon. I just need a couple of weeks to get these fires put out and get business back on track.

The GOOD news, is that after the Labor Day holiday is over, we’ve got a TON of great things planned to help you make the last few months of the year your best ever. It pains me to have to wait to share it with you, but I’ve got to clear the path, first.

When the dust settles, there’s gonna be a major blog series about this, you can be sure.

Until then, there are a couple of things you might be interested in:

  • If you’re in direct sales, we’ve got special pricing on the videos from Home Party Solution LIVE until August 31. This is the video from last year’s 3-day event. We go end-to-end through the book, with additional bonus content.
  • Get registered for the virtual version of The Renaissance Mom Experience (free, even though the site’s not completely updated yet. It’s on the to-do list for the week)
  • 30 Days to Renaissance (also free, you can register in the sidebar over there —>) is a 30-day e-course to help you get from Reluctance to Renaissance in your life and business. Just proves I try to practice what I preach.

LASTLY, if you have questions, concerns or comments, we ARE checking the email and the phone messages (and you can DM me on twitter). Just don’t expect an immediate response. Things are plain crazy here at the moment.

In more than a dozen years of business, I have never felt so much in a pressure cooker before. And if you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know how seriously I take my client relationships. For me to basically put business “on hold” to put out fires is a strong indicator of the level of chaos we’re feeling right now.

But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Thanks for your understanding.

From Reluctance to Renaissance

When we launched The Renaissance Mom at the beginning of the year, I had no idea what would happen.

Our mission is to help 10,000 mompreneurs and working mothers bring balance to their life and work without apologies or excuses. It was a mission God laid on my heart nearly two years ago to the day.

The journey from there to here has not at all been what I planned nor imagined.

“My ways are not your ways.” says the Lord.

Quite.

In truth, for all the forward motion and “tally-ho!” attitude I bring to my work and my life, I’ve probably been the biggest heel dragger of all when it comes to growing this business.

I never really thought of myself as a “mompreneur” or a “wahm” in the first place. I’ve written before about the negative perceptions people hold about those labels. I, too, held some prejudice about those labels. So much, that I felt compelled to create a new “brand” of working mother – The Renaissance Mom.

Renaissance is about re-birth. Despite any scriptural connotations that might bring to mind, we carefully chose our logo to bring to mind the two most recognizable symbols of rebirth – the phoenix and the cross. Simply put, this company is committed to helping working mothers make the transition from reluctance to renaissance.

Why then, have I been dragging my heels on this business? Several reasons:

  1. It’s not my business. Yes, I’m the founder, and my name is the owner of record. No, it’s not a company in name only. This is God’s business, not mine. Often times, I get up in the morning inspired to take actions so far removed from my comfort zone, I have a hard time doing them. I constantly ask “why” and find myself doing it anyway. Today I met a charming guy at a local ad agency. We talked for more than an hour as he shared generously some ideas to help promote The Renaissance Mom Experience to a more local audience. I went in with no real idea of what to expect. I walked away with so many blessings, I wanted to cry. It’s hard for me to invest myself fully in something that’s not mine. I’ve been burned by other partners in the past, and trust is hard won from me. The silly thing is, if I can’t trust God as my partner, who can I trust?
  2. I like being in control. I like having an agenda that I’ve laid out and can work from. God is more extemporaneous than that – at least with me. And although it bugs me a little, I’m trying to go with His flow. But it’s hard, and sometimes downright frustrating. Letting go is not something that comes easy to me. Particularly when I’m “letting go to let God” so to speak. I have many “other” things to do, and sometimes I think I have better things to do. God and I don’t always see eye to eye. Luckily, He still loves me anyway.
  3. Show me the money. To be frank (perhaps a little too frank), The Renaissance Mom has been entirely funded from the beginning by my other business endeavors. I’m not complaining, just noticing that the company is not profitable, and while I’m doing my best to remain faithful to God’s calling, it would be nice to turn a profit from the work we’re doing to help working moms. Perhaps it’s a bad time to start a company like this, but the demand for what we’re doing has been so overwhelming that we can’t stop now. For an unknown start-up, we’ve had the privilege of helping hundreds of women (and a few men) since January gain more balance and clarity in their lives, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. It’s odd for me to run a company that’s not paying for itself, and if this is the mission God has laid on my heart, then maybe it’s not supposed to be profitable. I haven’t figured that one out yet.

That’s been my journey for the past few months, and through it, I’ve made some tremendous realizations:

  1. God is always in control. That may sound like a “blatantly Christian” thing to say on a blog, but it’s true. Every time we’ve had a need for this event, there’s been a supply. I’ve been shy about giving the glory for it to God, and that ends today. God deserves the glory, because there’s no logical reason that this event should be happening at all, let alone happening successfully. And it is happening successfully. Whoever heard of bootstrapping an entire 3-day conference? God is miraculous and I need to stop dragging my heels telling other people about it.
  2. Business is still business. Partners, sponsors and others connected to the work we do still want to see a return – they want to know what’s in it for them. Having a great idea isn’t good enough. Communicating that idea isn’t good enough. Providing the return makes the difference.
  3. I still have a lot to learn. I’ve never claimed to be anybody’s guru. That’s a role for someone other than me. What I do is connect the dots for people, point them to resources, and hopefully help someone along the way. Very much of my success has been accidental, but now I’m in a position where a significant number of people actually look to me for advice/help. God help us all.

There are other lessons, to be sure, and my own renaissance is ongoing. When you step out in faith in a very public way, there’s bound to be obstacles. I’ve tried to stay low-key for a long time, and it’s just not going to work anymore. You may have already seen the shift, heard the undertones, and wondered what’s going on.

I’ve been pulling together a new approach for clients and folks like you that want to move forward with confidence  - out of reluctance and into renaissance. It’s very uncreatively called “30 Days to Renaissance”, and it is my new tool for stopping the heel dragging.

And you can have it free.

In light of my profitability comments earlier, free may be a bad choice, but it’s an e-course, delivered daily to your in-box, so it feels weird to charge you for it. Plus, God said to make it free, so I’m not going to argue with HIM.

You can fill out the opt-in box on our home page or Click here to get more details.

If it takes you from Reluctance to Renaissance, please share it with a friend. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your revelations about moving forward in faith in your life and business.

Mompreneur Success is Like Building An Ark

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Mompreneur Success: Balancing Your Weakness

This morning I awoke from a vivid dream wherein I portrayed some kind of crime-fighting super hero. I nearly died because my fatal flaw – my “kryptonite” if you will, was flowers, of all things. And we were battling in a greenhouse.

Goofy, I know, but it got me to thinking about how moms are real-life superheros. And just like our make-believe counterparts, we all have a weakness – some fatal flaw that binds us up and holds us hostage in our lives.

If left unattended, it might even be the end of us.

Of course, I’m taking the idea to the extreme here, but one thing I’ve learned in my coaching over the years is that there’s always something – and it’s usually rooted in fear – that keeps us from putting on our golden arm bands, our lasso of truth, and being the superhero of our own lives.

Super Mom to the RescueFor me, my business is my Achilles’ heel. I love what I do so much, it can become an addiction for me. I admit that I’m hard-pressed to shut down my computer and walk away from it at dinner time. I feel unproductive when I’m home and NOT working! And yes, I feel that way even when there’s plenty of housework to do that would otherwise keep me occupied.

If I’d let it, my business would be the death of me. There’s always something new, exciting and different going on there. I can connect with new people every day online and grow my business faster and faster every day. I’m an adrenaline junkie of sorts, because it becomes so much fun to watch everything unfold in my business.

It’s also the least important thing I could be focusing on.

In the grand scheme of things, my relationships with family and friends take priority. My spiritual development and my faith take precedence. Or at least they should. And when I’m living life in balance, they do. But when the adrenaline calls, sometimes it becomes incredibly painful to turn off the computer and walk away.

Every SuperMom has a weakness. Yours may be time with your children, or the need for adult conversation – or alone time with your significant other. Maybe you have a fear of success, or a mindset that says you need to sacrifice one area of your life in order to be successful in another. What’s holding you back from seeing the success you deserve in your life?

Until you can identify your weakness, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to defend against. The answer lies within you. Here are a few suggestions to help you tap your inner superhero:

  1. Think about the grand scheme of things. Superman had Lois Lane. Tarzan had Jane. Every superhero has at least one someone in their life that’s more important than the service they provide to humanity. When you come to the end of your life, it’s those people that will remember you. The legacy you leave behind to you loved ones is far more important than any job you could ever do.
  2. Keep the faith. You must believe in something greater than yourself. Whether it’s God, or “truth, justice and the American way”, there’s got to be a bigger mission for the roles you play. As a mom, you’re shaping lives of future generations. As a business owner, it’s got to be about more than just the income.
  3. Have some fun! How many times did Superman take Lois out for a flight? You’ve got these super powers, take some time to use them to enjoy yourself. If you’re not making time to celebrate your success, you’re missing out.
  4. Watch the pennies. If you’re growing a business, be mindful of the money you’re earning. Fun is important, but so is keeping a balanced budget and paying off debt.
  5. Stay healthy. It’s easy to say there’s no time to exercise when your business is booming. There’s always plenty of other things to do that don’t involve exercise. It’s true when people say “if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.” Keep your mind, body and spirit in tip-top-shape by exercising them regularly.

These are just a few suggestions to help you keep your life in balance. When you focus on what’s really important in your life and work, the rest becomes somewhat easier to manage.

© 2010 Lisa Robbin Young.

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USE THIS ARTICLE FOR FREE IN PRINT OR ONLINE!

Please do not alter it and include the following information (with active links as appropriate):

Founder of The Renaissance Mom, LLC, Lisa Robbin Young is a marketing consultant and business coach for mom entrepreneurs. Her mission is to help women bring balance and peace to their life & work, without apologies. Her website, TheRenaissanceMom.com features free videos, helpful articles, podcasts and other resources to help business moms find more focus, accomplish what’s really important, and keep everything in balance.
The Renaissance Mom Experience is a 3-day live event held each year in the fall. Mompreneurs from across the country come to experience the inspirational speakers and discover hands-on, how-to strategies to build a life and a lifestyle that they truly love. Learn more about the live event at http://www.TheRenaissanceMomExperience.com

Game Changers

Every other weekend, my husband and I make a 6-hour trek to visit our oldest son down in Ohio. My husband, being the shy sensitive type, is not one for much in the way of conversation, which makes these trips awkward at best. I, being the more talkative of the two of us, can get downright frustrated (to tears) when we travel for long stretches of highway with nary a word between us. Twelve hours of silence can really put me on edge!

But this weekend, we talked and talked and talked. And then we talked some more.

I had been praying for this breakthrough for a while. During the week before our departure, my husband suggested we create a list of topics to discuss on the trip so he could be “prepared”. Me? I don’t need preparation. I was great at impromptu debates and speeches in school. Give me a topic and I can talk for miles. Not so, my husband. So we made a long list. And we hit nearly every topic during our twelve hour ride.

We talked about football, politics, and my upcoming live event. We discussed marketing ideas, gardening, and the very sensitive topic of finances.

Then it happened: The Game Changer.

My husband said, in a somewhat off-hand manner, “I admit that choosing to keep our finances separate when we married was a mistake.”

Whoa.

I had to stop him. This seemingly trivial statement of hindsight changed the entire playing field of our marriage. Not only because he acknowledged making a mistake (draw your own conclusions, ladies), but because he vocalized it in a serious conversation with me.

I thanked him and observed how that small acknowledgment was actually a major Game Changer in our relationship. I then noted how often those kinds of off-hand, seemingly insignificant moments are the real Game Changers in our lives (and our businesses).

For me, there are BIG moments that changed my life – those are the easy ones to recall. Childbirth, marriage, moving across country, choosing a home-based career. Those are some of the defining moments of my life.

But let me tell you about a Game Changer that, once you hear the story, it might just change your mind about the details of your life.

I met my husband through an online dating service. We were ‘chatting’ and we planned to meet for the first time, just an hour later. It was very impromptu, with no real planning behind it. He lived about an hour away, so I figured we had plenty of time to make it to the appointed destination, which was closer to my home than his.

Not only did he arrive slightly early, he held in his hand a flower he had picked up on the way.

That flower was a Game Changer and neither of us realized it until this past weekend.

You see my husband watched me to see how I responded to the flower. It was nice, and I thanked him for it. As the server came to our table, I asked for a glass of water (no ice) for the flower. I didn’t really know what else to do with it, since I didn’t want to put it on the chair or the table because it might get squished. So I cut the stem, right there in the restaurant, and placed it in a glass of water for the duration of our meal.

Doesn’t seem like much, does it?

But my husband was impressed with how I cared for that flower – how I almost seemed to cherish it. I didn’t see it as just a toss-away gesture that some guys make when they’re trying to impress a girl on a first date. I was impressed that he managed to be on time AND stopped on the way to bring me the flower. We didn’t plan it, so he didn’t have time to strategize, and he’s not one to just keep a flower on hand in case an “emergency date” turns up on his calendar.

That flower, that seemingly insignificant gesture, led to 9 dates in 2 weeks’ time. Nearly 7 years later, we have a 4 year old child and a 5 year old marriage that would not have happened, had it not been for that little flower.

Game Changers aren’t the huge, defining moments of our lives, but very often, they are the details that make the difference.

It’s the admission of guilt, which doesn’t change the damage done, but paves the way for forgiveness.

It’s the invitation extended to a stranger to join you for lunch, in an otherwise crowded cafeteria, that paves the way to a big business deal.

It’s the unexpected in the commonplace.

It’s a small kindness that pays a tremendous return – without expectation of any kind.

Those are the Game Changers. And I had a couple this weekend. You’ll learn more about them in the coming weeks, but be assured that these small details are everywhere – if we’re looking for them.

This Game Changer reconfigures our financial landscape. What that means exactly is still being determined, but it’s one more positive step in the process of becoming a true partnership, not just two people married to each other.

What are the Game Changers in your life? Can you point to the seemingly little things that made a big difference in who you are and what your life has meant? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals: Blonde Don’t Live Here No More

Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals – BHAGs. These are the stuff entrepreneurial dreams are made of. BHAGs are motivating, inspiring, and often take more than a minute or two to complete. In fact, sometimes it can take years to bring a BHAG to fruition.

But there’s an even bigger, more hairy audacious obstacle that prevents many entrepreneurs from ever attaining their BHAG.

Distractions. Entrepreneurs have a horrible time with this. We’re constantly distracted by the ideas that float into our brains. Great ideas, though they may be, we’re often found floating from idea to idea, never really completing anything.

Several terms have been concocted to describe this condition. Shiny object syndrome is a pervasive problem amongst entrepreneurs. According to one study, about 50% of entrepreneurs demonstrate ADHD tendencies, and becoming distracted is a big issue.

So if you have big, clearly defined goals, what can you do to stay on track?

For me, it took dying my hair a bright, shiny, platinum blonde color.

From This...

To This

I took a LOT of flak for this change. And the comments (to my face) ranged from “Oh GAWD! What were you thinking?” to “Wow! You look AMAZING!” – and everything in between. I can only imagine some of the snickering that went on behind closed doors.

Deciding to go blonde had nothing to do with having more fun, or really even about being more visible – although those were possible side effects. For me, there was a deeper meaning to embracing my “inner blonde”.

It was a constant, daily reminder of three BHAGs I needed to accomplish in my life.

Every morning I wake up, I look in the mirror and see this face, surrounded by this hair – an unavoidable reminder of things left undone. Things that MUST be completed before my hair goes back to a more, um, natural shade.

I could have chosen a less outspoken color, but part of the shift that needed to happen in me was being able to embrace my outspoken nature. And the other goals I’ll talk more about at my live event this fall.

Some people can use a vision board, or write it down, or do a daily visualization and consistently hold those goals in their mind. Some people can plug it into a computer, a PDA or have someone else hold them accountable.  I’m not one of those people. Ink washes away. Strings break. Kids spill stuff on your PDA, delete your hard drive, and decide to color on your vision board.

I needed something indelible. Something that wouldn’t rub off, wash off, or get lost in the translation. So about this time last year, I made the leap from dark brown to blonde (with a pit stop at orange. There’s a picture somewhere on Facebook, I think. It’s horrible.).

In the intervening year, my “daily reminder” was met by occasional snide remarks – even from family and friends. The suggestions to “pick a more flattering color”, the questioning, and the outright assumptions on the part of most people were more examples of how people don’t always ‘get it’ when we want to accomplish something huge. Sometimes our closest friends think they’re doing us a favor. They think they’re being supportive, but in reality, they’re trying to fit our BHAG into their world.  People don’t understand (or care to understand) the motivation behind the transformation, they only judge the outward manifestation of the first step.

Crazy? Silly? Stupid? Unflattering? Perhaps. But I didn’t go blonde to please you. I didn’t even do it to please me.

The thing about changing your hair color to something VERY different from your natural color is that it requires work to maintain. You can’t just quit when the going gets tough – or another distraction comes along.

When the roots come in, you’ve got to decide to keep going or go back. Cut it off or let it grow. For me, this was a very visceral, tangible, and physical manifestation of my business and personal goals.

Do I quit just because it’s hard? Just because I haven’t reached my goal yet?

Do I cut myself off just because other people are telling me it can’t be done – or that I’m too (old, fat, young, smart, dumb, poor, educated, etc.)?

Do I keep going, or go back?

I chose (and continue to choose) to ‘let it grow’.

A couple of weeks ago, I hit goal number one of three. So blonde don’t live here no more.

My target is to complete goals two and three so that this whole “hairy goal” thing is ironed out by August – and settle on the final hair color for the rest of my 30′s.

Or until my next BHAG comes into view.