So I gave some thought to what I REALLY wanted to let go of (once again, thanks to Amy Oscar’s amazing prompts), and created a list of ten things to stop doing in 2012:

1. Hiding my light under a bushel. There are a few things I’m pretty good at, if I can trust my friends to tell me the truth, and I enjoy doing them, so by golly, I want to do more of it – and enjoy the limelight a little in the process.

2. Judging myself based on my eating habits. “I was good today” is a load of crap. What I eat doesn’t determine my “goodness” or “badness” it just is what it is.

3. Allowing distractions to interfere with my morning sacred practice. There are mornings when the kid has “mom-dar” and just seems to know when I’m awake – regardless of my rousal time. But other times, I make room for distractions to creep into what needs to be a sacred time of meditation and prayer. I’ve started creating new habits around this. We’ll see how the trend continues.

4. Confusing one emotion for another. Often, I say I’m bored when really, I’m lonely. Or I’ll say I’m angry, when really, I’m hurt. It’s not about lying about my feelings, it’s about saying the thing that’s less intrusive on others, instead of being honest about what I’m really feeling. My goal is to be more honest with myself about what’s really going on with me.

5. Feeling guilty about not sending cards. I’m not a card sender. I say thanks, I email, I even call (which for me is HUGE). This year, I picked up texting on my phone, so I’ve got that going for me, too. For whatever reason, I’ve always felt guilty when I get cards in the mail, and while I love getting them, I hate sending them. So don’t expect ‘em from me, ‘k? And if you get one, consider yourself lucky!

6. “Trying” so hard. When Yoda said “there is no try” he obviously hadn’t met me. I’m one of the most trying people I know sometimes. ALWAYS trying something. Sometimes, trying too hard to “make” something work. Sometimes, stuff just doesn’t work, and that’s okay. I’m learning that in 2011, and want to fully internalize it in 2012.

7. Taking ignorant admonitions to heart. Some people around me really want what they think is best for me, and I love them for that. Problem is, they have no clue what’s best for me, and instead of embracing that truism, I’ve let their admonitions become my marching orders for far too many years. Sometimes, I really do know what’s best for me, better than they ever could. They’re not stupid, they just don’t know from whence they speak.

8. Ignoring the precious advice of my really smart friends. Some people around me really want what they think is best for me, and I love them for that. Problem is, I don’t always know the ins and outs of what I’m trying to do, and instead of embracing that truism, I’ve run off, half-cocked without fully listening to, or heeding their advice. Sometimes, they really do know what’s best for me, better than I ever could. They’re smart, and know from whence they speak, and I want to learn more by example instead of trial and error.

9. Making excuses instead of friends. There are always reasons why I can’t participate. Some of them are incredibly valid, but most of the time, they are lame-o. I want to have the birthday party that’s always packed, the funeral that’s standing room only, and I can’t do that from behind my computer screen all the time. Get ready, world, Lisa’s coming out to play!

10. Being anything less than fully expressed. I’ve got lots of great stories – and a few yucky ones. Sharing them is part of what makes me Lisa – and it’s high time people got the regular strength dosage, instead of the diluted dose of Lisa. Sometimes I come on strong, and I’m pretty dang enthusiastic. Sometimes I’m grumpy or angry – especially if you’ve crossed a friend. Always, though, I seek to understand, and be the compassionate person, and while I’m a little zany, I’m definitely “good people” as my mom would say. So it’s time to let that light shine – in all its glory (including typos and grammatical errors, thankyouverymuch!)

What are you getting ready to shed and embrace? I woke up this morning with an inspiration for a “receiving zone” a space in my home and my heart that is cleared and waiting to receive what is trying to reach me. Part of that comes from being able to relinquish that which no longer serves. As a confirmed and recovering pack rat, that’s a challenge. But I’m up for a challenge. You?

My ship docked on Wednesday, and what a whirlwind it’s been since then. All doused with kerosene, I lit the match, and stood on the shore for the last couple of days making SURE it was cinders and ashes.

I’ve been sort of dreading this post, and sort of looking forward to it, because so much has happened in the last 60 days, but I wasn’t really sure how to best articulate it. While this blog talks a lot about my personal journey, I also mean for it to be a tool that you can use to live and grow by.

Then this morning, my youngest climbed into our bed and promptly pulled the covers off me. I took it as a sign to get moving.

I did my morning PEACE System practice, and as I opened my laptop, my eyes fell on an email from my first coach, EPW, with an assignment for an upcoming class. She encouraged us to watch a video she created outlining a process to help us determine our four words.

Meh. I already have my theme for the year, and was planning on sharing it in an upcoming post. But since it was only 25 minutes, it was too early to really do anything else, and I figured the noise might get my husband out of bed, too, I acquiesced.

Now, I can frame this post in a way that’s meaningful to you.

This 60 day journey has been about trying to figure out what in the world I’m really supposed to be up to on this rock we call Earth. I know many of you resonate with the “jack of all trades, master of none” concept, and I’ve grappled with that identity myself for years. People still ask me “what do you do?” and I have a horrible time painting a complete picture.

Then there’s the marriage. What the French? How can you stay married to a person who shows little emotional presence, claims to love you, and feels like he’s bending over backwards to serve your needs because he did a load of laundry and changed a diaper? I was at an incredible crossroads in my marriage. Part of this 60 day journey was spent working through The Love Dare – and meeting with frustration after frustration. Ultimately, it wasn’t about “fixing” our marriage. It was about coming to terms with who I am, and how to make a marriage work in light of that revelation.

And, of course, there’s the family, the business, and a litany of other “stuff” that came up during the past two months.

One blog post seemed almost ineffective, until EPW’s email today.

See, I’ve done the “theme words” thing before: Pick a few words that lay the foundation for the year ahead, and build your life/business on those qualities. It works, but I figured I already had it down for the year.

This wasn’t that kind of exercise.

One of the questions in the exercise was this:

“If you were a fairy godmother and could bestow states of being on the people you love most in the world, what  qualities would you grant them?”

Then, as the exercise ended, she asked us to prioritize everything and select only 4 words from the list of qualities we had created.

That wasn’t too hard.

Then the revelation: You ARE those four words. These are not aspirations, but you actually live and breathe them. They are your being. Not core values, mind you, but the very essence of you. Your birthright.

And suddenly, I knew how to translate this 60 day experience to you.

I am Faith. It paves the way to everything. I’m not talking about thumping a bible in someone’s face. I’m not necessarily even talking about God, although that’s my personal faith vehicle. I’m talking about the willingness in your spirit to take the next step on your own journey – without knowing the end game. Cheryl Richardson once said that “faith is doing without knowing the outcome first.”

I’ve struggled with wanting to know the end game from time to time, and yet I do a LOT of stuff without knowing for sure where it will take me, just trusting that everything will work out. On this journey, I’ve explored what faith really is – and what it’s not. I made some huge discoveries – well, huge to me – that I’ll be sharing in the coming weeks. The biggest is that faith pervades all I am.

It’s one of my 5 Key Areas of Success in The PEACE System. It’s one of the most populated categories on this blog. It underpins so much of who I am and what I do, that it never dawned on me that one of my reasons for being is to actually BRING faith to the world – or at least my part of it.

I am Enthusiasm. This was the theme I had selected for the year. It was a hard-won word. I wanted to find something that would encapsulate “going all in” and not “going through the motions” of my existence. It also resonates happiness, joy, mirth. And yes, there’s that whole “God inside” definition, and the zeal that goes with it.

For me, enthusiasm is about doing anything you do with vibrancy and commitment. Not being half-hearted, and being willing to burn the ships – with a smile, grit, determination, and a bit of duct tape for good measure. Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean you have to do it begrudgingly. Some of the sweetest rewards come from the most difficult harvest. To that end, my marriage is no longer a negotiable piece of my life. It IS. And I choose to be married with enthusiasm!

I am Clarity. Which sounds exceedingly antithetical to being Faith, I will confess. Yet, one of the things I am best known for is my ability to ask difficult questions and bring clarity to a situation that once seemed too foggy to navigate. I’ve been asking “why?” since I was a toddler, trying to get a grip on what the truth of a situation is. With my clients, I demand transparency and full disclosure so that I can make the best possible decisions for suggested courses of action. In as much as I know I can’t predict the future, I can get as clear as I possibly can, and step out in faith to see what comes next.

Asking questions has never been a big deal to me. I was taught to question and seek truth at a young age. Little did I know that seeking that kind of clarity was not only a part of who I am, but sharing and “bestowing” that kind of clarity for others is part of my mission in this world.

I am Passion. Believe it or not, this was the easiest for me to grasp. To me, passion and enthusiasm are not the same – nor are they mutually exclusive. They feed one another. Passion is a fuel, a fire, an intensity, a deep desire or love for something. It’s a modifier to life. It magnifies the moment. Sometimes we need a magnifier, sometimes not. Thus, it’s not my primary word, but it’s still a very necessary one.

When I was in high school, our swim team’s shirts read “Go Hard or Go Home!” That phrase has stuck with me ever since (even though I was NEVER on the swim team). To me, the idea of having an intense love or desire for the thing you’re about in the world makes it addictive – not just for you, but for the people around you. It becomes intoxicating. It starts movements. It incites people to action. This world would be far less interesting without the passionate people of the world. But if all you have is passion, you end up bumping into a lot of walls along the way.

So the last 60 days have been about connecting (or re-connecting) with who Lisa really is – at her core, as her birthright. I am what I am, and now, I have a better understanding of what that means. I also have a clearer view of what I do for my clients, and how I’m meant to bring that vision to a larger audience. I’m hard at work on a new business project that will serve that audience. More details to follow.

What say you? What are you about in this world? Where do you find yourself being called to serve? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments!

“Wonder why it is difficult sometimes to move past the igniter and into sustainability. What slows us down?”

The answer came to me almost instantly: it’s too much like work for most of us.

There’s effort that goes into moving the car another mile toward the destination.

If passion is the fuel, effort is the engine – and sometimes, we just run out of gas. If we’re not maintaining the vehicle that houses that engine (ourselves), no amount of fuel will get it further down the road. If we’re not stopping periodically to fuel-up and check the fluid levels, it’s only a matter of time before we crack a cylinder, blow a gasket, or abandon the vehicle altogether.

If you’ve ever pushed a car from a dead stop, you know what I’m talking about. The sheer effort involved in getting the wheels to make the first revolution can bring you to tears.

Jim Collins talks about the need for build-up and momentum in his book “Good to Great“. If you abandon the vehicle during the build-up phase, you’ll never reach escape velocity. Momentum only comes after effort has been applied to create that velocity. No velocity, no momentum. No mass, no momentum. Which means, in order to have momentum, you’ve got to have effort applied to a mass to create velocity.

Not to get too scientific, but if any one factor isn’t there, it ain’t happening. Period. You can start to apply effort – that’s where passion comes in to play. Passion is the igniter, the spark, the fuel injected. It makes the effort easier – the car goes when you step on the “gas” – but you don’t have an endless supply.

It’s almost tragic when someone loses passion. Passionless marriages that were once burning bright with intoxicating heat and energy become these dead zones where two people barely co-exist.

What happened to the passion?

They got “burned out”, or “exhausted” with one another. Quite often, one or both parties didn’t take the time to make a pit stop, fuel up, and continue to expend effort together in the same direction.

But this isn’t a diatribe on marriage. It’s a question about how to get, build, and sustain momentum for something that you’re passionate about.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Heal, then bloom. You have to give yourself time and space to recover from the effort your expending.

2. Give and take. You can’t always give, because then there’s nothing left to give. You can’t always take, because there’s nothing left to take. If your fist is clenched, you can’t accept or give anything. Live with an open hand.

3. Recognize the parts of the whole. You can’t just gas up the engine. You have to check the tires, the radiator, the oil level. Everything needs to be in working order to sustain effort for any length of time. In a company, there are many parts (people) that make up the whole (organization). Everyone needs to be in working order to sustain effort for any length of time.

4. Have a destination in mind. You may not need a map for a short journey, but it certainly helps if all the effort is being applied in the same general direction. If you’re pushing a car from the front, and the rest of your team is pushing from other sides, chances are good you’ll get nowhere. Either that, or the side that’s pushing hardest will start building momentum – which might be in a completely wrong direction. With a destination (vision) in mind, everyone can get on the same side of the vehicle, ignite their passion, and start moving toward that destination.

There’s much more that could be said on this. The idea’s not to be exhaustive, but rather to re-fuel your passion and help you generate some momentum during your build-up phase. Once you hit escape velocity, breakthrough becomes imminent.

But first, there’s work to be done.