Christians Swear? The Horror! [Day 0 - 30 Days to Renaissance]
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One of my bad habits is holding back the full truth until I can’t take it any more. Then it becomes some sort of “moment of confessional”, when I come across more dramatic than even I intend. Sadly, this realization comes now, just as I need to get something off my chest – again.
I have been known to utter profanity. Sometimes very loudly, sometimes under my breath, and yes, it might be aimed at you.
Well, not you specifically, but you get the idea.
See, when you publicly declare your faith for all the world to see, suddenly every action and misdeed is under a microscope – kind of like the Hollywood A-listers. But unlike the a-listers, forgiveness is rarely found for the person who claims to be a Christian.
Like it or not, we’re humans first, Christians second, and while that observation does not excuse my behavior, it certainly illuminates it.
I don’t make a point of swearing, but yeah, I’ve been caught on video speaking an expletive or two. While I admit it’s not the most proper way to present myself, it’s also dishonest of me to pretend I’m someone I’m not. I’ve tried to live my entire life thus far as an open book. Don’t ask if you don’t want to know, and all that jazz.
But here’s the thing. I would prefer you know, like and trust the REAL me – not some phony facade I put on for work. There’s something horrifyingly dishonest about being less than myself. And it’s time to nip it in the bud.
And you know what? I couldn’t be happier about it. Dave Lakhani says that polarizing personalities sell – you either love them or you hate them. I’m not out to win any popularity contests, and I don’t seek to offend people, but really, if the occasional burst of vulgarity bothers you, we need to part company. Sooner rather than later.
My entire business is built around teaching people to build a life they love without being apologetic or making excuses for who they really are. How can I hold myself out in any other fashion?
Tomorrow we begin the 30 Days to Renaissance journey here on the blog. Many of you have already jumped on board the e-course, and I hope more of you will take me up on this challenge as well: To live your life in balance without apologies or excuses.
For many of you, it will be like getting a fresh start. For others it’s confirmation of a process you’ve been “working on” for a while. But here’s the situation: You must insist on being 100% yourself. Anything less is a ripoff.
So for those of you that are wondering, I’m clearing the air here:
1. I swear – usually when I’m incredibly upset or incredibly happy. In those moments, it’s generally because I’m speechless (yeah, me. go figure).
2. I love God. I was born and raised as a Christian and have no plans of changing anytime soon.
3. I believe science and God can co-exist. Was God an alien? Who knows? Does it really make God any less powerful? Do we have all the answers worked out yet? Nope. And that doesn’t prove or disprove the existence of God in my book.
4. I try to do right, but I still screw up. If my mom hadn’t already given me a middle name, “bad choices” might be mine.
5. You can be a mom, a wife, and a business owner. It’s freakin’ hard work, it’s not for everyone, but if you’re willing to do the work, the rewards are amazing.
6. Balance doesn’t look like the scales of justice. Very often, it looks more like a contortionist. Everyone has a different sense of and need for balance. Finding your balance point will ease much of the tension and stress in your life.
7. Helping you guys find success on your terms is my mission. I can’t NOT do this. I believe God planted this in my heart and until he uproots it, I’m not going anywhere. he gave me a gift to help you brainstorm, find solutions and hold you accountable. So here I am doing my darndest – with your permission, of course.
8. I can’t make you successful, just like I can’t make you like me, trust me, or buy from me. What I can do is offer suggestions, guidance and prayer for your situation. god gave us all free will, so the rest is up to you.
9. My life isn’t perfect, it will never be perfect, and whilst I may grumble from time to time, remember I am human just like you – regardless of my religious affiliations. I do the best I can with what I have.
So there. As we take this 30 day journey together, realize that not everything I say will make you happy. That’s not my role. My role is to open your mind, and offer you options you may not have considered before. Stop being reluctant in your own life and embrace the renaissance waiting for you.
We begin in the morrow.
Letting Go Takes Love
In the past 24 hours it feels as though I have awakened from a 35 year coma. I can’t begin to explain everything here, at least not yet.
But new realities have come into my field of vision, and I’m seeing the world through somewhat different eyes.
As moms, we often think that we are doing so much for everyone else, and we don’t have a voice of our own. Sometimes we feel squelched.
Today, I realized I’ve been squelching myself in ways I never recognized; ways I never comprehended.
And it changes starting now.
During this process of “awakening” if you will, I heard a quote on the radio. It moved me so, that I had to find the author and share it with you.
In the past few days, it hit me that as long as our hands are clenched, we cannot give, nor can we receive. Further, if all we do is take, eventually there’s nothing left to take. If all we do is give, eventually, there’s nothing left to give. Thus, we must give and take in order to keep balance and maintain a “karmic equilibrium” so to speak.
This passage from Dr. Margaret Rinck spoke to me. And so I offer it to those of you dealing with clenched fists – whether they’re yours or someone else’s:
To Let Go Takes Love by Dr. Margaret J. Rinck
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle, arraging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective; it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not deny, but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.
Mompreneur Success: Balancing Your Weakness
This morning I awoke from a vivid dream wherein I portrayed some kind of crime-fighting super hero. I nearly died because my fatal flaw – my “kryptonite” if you will, was flowers, of all things. And we were battling in a greenhouse.
Goofy, I know, but it got me to thinking about how moms are real-life superheros. And just like our make-believe counterparts, we all have a weakness – some fatal flaw that binds us up and holds us hostage in our lives.
If left unattended, it might even be the end of us.
Of course, I’m taking the idea to the extreme here, but one thing I’ve learned in my coaching over the years is that there’s always something – and it’s usually rooted in fear – that keeps us from putting on our golden arm bands, our lasso of truth, and being the superhero of our own lives.
For me, my business is my Achilles’ heel. I love what I do so much, it can become an addiction for me. I admit that I’m hard-pressed to shut down my computer and walk away from it at dinner time. I feel unproductive when I’m home and NOT working! And yes, I feel that way even when there’s plenty of housework to do that would otherwise keep me occupied.
If I’d let it, my business would be the death of me. There’s always something new, exciting and different going on there. I can connect with new people every day online and grow my business faster and faster every day. I’m an adrenaline junkie of sorts, because it becomes so much fun to watch everything unfold in my business.
It’s also the least important thing I could be focusing on.
In the grand scheme of things, my relationships with family and friends take priority. My spiritual development and my faith take precedence. Or at least they should. And when I’m living life in balance, they do. But when the adrenaline calls, sometimes it becomes incredibly painful to turn off the computer and walk away.
Every SuperMom has a weakness. Yours may be time with your children, or the need for adult conversation – or alone time with your significant other. Maybe you have a fear of success, or a mindset that says you need to sacrifice one area of your life in order to be successful in another. What’s holding you back from seeing the success you deserve in your life?
Until you can identify your weakness, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to defend against. The answer lies within you. Here are a few suggestions to help you tap your inner superhero:
- Think about the grand scheme of things. Superman had Lois Lane. Tarzan had Jane. Every superhero has at least one someone in their life that’s more important than the service they provide to humanity. When you come to the end of your life, it’s those people that will remember you. The legacy you leave behind to you loved ones is far more important than any job you could ever do.
- Keep the faith. You must believe in something greater than yourself. Whether it’s God, or “truth, justice and the American way”, there’s got to be a bigger mission for the roles you play. As a mom, you’re shaping lives of future generations. As a business owner, it’s got to be about more than just the income.
- Have some fun! How many times did Superman take Lois out for a flight? You’ve got these super powers, take some time to use them to enjoy yourself. If you’re not making time to celebrate your success, you’re missing out.
- Watch the pennies. If you’re growing a business, be mindful of the money you’re earning. Fun is important, but so is keeping a balanced budget and paying off debt.
- Stay healthy. It’s easy to say there’s no time to exercise when your business is booming. There’s always plenty of other things to do that don’t involve exercise. It’s true when people say “if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.” Keep your mind, body and spirit in tip-top-shape by exercising them regularly.
These are just a few suggestions to help you keep your life in balance. When you focus on what’s really important in your life and work, the rest becomes somewhat easier to manage.
© 2010 Lisa Robbin Young.
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Is Your Niche Profitable? – Part One: Competition
Scrolling through my email, I found an article from a couple years back, written by Derek Gehl (famed Internet Marketing whiz). In it, he outlined a series of questions that Internet Marketers need to ask themselves before pursuing a market niche. As I read on, it became clear that this series of questions applied to any business owner, not just internet marketers. Not every niche is profitable – and not every profitable niche will stay profitable for the long term. What can you do to build a profitable business in a niche strong/big enough to keep you afloat? Here’s my take:
Competition
Competition is a sticky wicket that’s not always easy to discern. When you look at indirect competition (similar product or service, different niche) as well as direct competitors (exactly the same niche, product and/or service), you can pull your hair out trying to determine how you are unique in the marketplace. What it really boils down to is opportunity costs vs. value. Customers have to choose one way or another. You objective is to present a value proposition that makes it easy for the customer to give what I call the affirmative buying decision to YOU, and no one else. Because when it comes to money, there’s more than just your niche competing. There’s the day care, the health club, the tax man, and a host of other people. There’s only so much money to go around, and your client has to decide where every penny goes. Before competitive businesses are even in the picture, they need to know that your offering is a valuable asset and worth the investment of their hard earned cash. In that respect, you are competing with EVERYTHING. On the other hand, what makes you valuable and unique could be so different than anything else that’s out there that you’re really not competing with anything. See how vexing this can be?
A client of mine is building an online herb shop. She has many of the same products that can be bought other places. However, because some of her herbs are wild sourced – and limited in quantity – she can charge substantially more for those products. These herbs become her flagship products – even though they’ve got very limited availability. So on one hand, she’s competing with every other herbalist online, but on the other, she’s got a unique, hard to find, in demand product with which no one can compete. Either way, her potential clients still need to decide to spend that money on herbs in the first place, which is what complicates the whole “competition” discussion.
Suggestion: Look for ways to be distinctive in the marketplace, but remember that ultimately it comes down to the value your customer sees in making the investment in the first place. Here are my formulas for value and disappointment:
value = (client expectations) + x – (total client investment)
disappointment = client results – client expectation (when the value is negative, the disappointment is greater)
Your job is to keep disappointment low and value high. That’s part of the equation for customer loyalty.
But here’s my big take away: You have to do what moves you. If you want to be the 1,003rd shoe salesman on your block, it may be hard to run a successful business. Then again, your passion and commitment to offering high-quality shoes at with a value proposition that’s second to none may be just the ticket to your success. In my own community, Walgreen’s has a habit of moving in across the street from Rite Aid. Within a few months the Rite Aid closes up shop. I’ve not researched it, but I’m sure Walgreen’s doesn’t do this by accident. They know they’ve got a viable market (or Rite Aid wouldn’t be there in the first place), and they believe they can offer a better value proposition than their “competition” – and they must be doing something right.
Who am I to say you can’t be the Walgreen’s of your niche? You can totally do that. It happens every day.