An “appetite for distraction” implies that the more we chase these pleasurable distractions, the less we focus on what really matters – on being our true selves and being able to be present to what life is about in the here and now.

The other morning I was immersed in part of a 40 day & night transformational process I’m developing.  In response to a writing prompt about what I believe about my business, I wrote down the following:

“I believe when I find my right audience, I will be able to be myself fully expressed…. The truth is that by being fully expressed, I’ll find my right audience.”

Whoa. Talk about future tripping. Here I was chasing something in the “someday” instead of practicing being fully here right now, showing up as my full-bodied, glorious self.

Then last night, I was watching Marie Forleo share her own early biz adventures in a video for her b-school re-launch, and she said something that brought up a BUNCH of emotions. Essentially, she was describing her “multi-passionate” nature and said that having to pick one biz venture felt like “severing a limb”.

Um, yep. That’s me. And no matter how hard I try to chase one rabbit, something invariably comes along, and gets me fired up.

At first, I thought it was me being all ADD and whatnot. Maybe I’m just not focused enough. But time and again, it didn’t feel like a lack of focus, because I was getting massive stuff done. When I’m working, I hustle. In fact, right now, I feel like I’m being incredibly unfocused because it’s been a while since I’ve put a new program on the market, I’m really limiting the number of clients I work with, and I’m taking my time to nurture what’s going on with my creative work. Plus, I’ve got bits of my projects in the hands of other people and I’m patiently allowing them to work their magic on it (okay, I’m really chomping at the bit to get going, but I also recognize there’s a process to this stuff, and I’m coping as best as a get-it-done girl like me can!).

Yet,  when I think about being fully myself, there’s this hodge podge of “facets” that have had difficulty playing nicely together in my head:

• When I use my Tarot cards, I believe I’m supposed to take that revelation back to GOD for clarity.
• I  believe that my life is a musical – I do spontaneously break out in song.
• I’m crude, blunt, and sometimes inappropriate.
• I’m compassionate, deep, and a spiritual seeker.
• I’m a no-nonsense, no-excuse, no-bs kind of gal (“Let’s get this done, shall we?”)
• I believe that there is ALWAYS a way to make something happen.

“It’s the irony of chasing stillness…of improving ourselves so we can finally accept who we are. It’s exhausting.” – Danielle LaPorte

Yeah. Exactly.

I’m the first person to tell you that you can’t chase multiple rabbits. Find one thing and do it with excellence. But here’s the kicker…

Being yourself is doing one thing. And to do it with excellence you have to be fully yourself… no limb severing allowed.

When I was a child, the world looked a lot less complicated than it does today. The “rules” were a lot easier to navigate.

Share with others. Say “please” and “thank you”. Take turns.

I was having an interesting spiritual conversation the other day. The discussion leader, a good fiend of mine, made the point that we need a common language if we are going to understand each other. There was a lot of talk around the nature of establishing “rules” for a society, and at one point, we came to a playground analogy.

We were discussing how, on the playground, children don’t jockey for position, and most aren’t bullies. In fact the ones that bully at a young age were either raised to be bullies, or they just haven’t learned how to interact with others yet. At which point my friend made the following statement.

“Before we can come to the playground, we have to be taught how to interact properly. We have to be taught how to share, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, and to take turns.”

It would seem that so much of what sets us up for our new testament is founded in the ‘rules’ that govern the old testament of our lives.

Richard Rohr, in his book, “Falling Upward” makes the case that the first “half” of our life (our old testament) is all about creating the box, the container that defines who we are. We learn rules, strive to achieve recognition, hold status, make friends, build our networks, and then bank on all of that as who we are. Not as symbols of who we are, but as our actual measure of worth in the world.

The second ‘half’ of life (our new testament) is all about finding what goes into that container. The meaning of all those elements. It’s realizing that the stuff of our existence is just “stuff”, but our existence is where the real value, the real meaning lies.

Before I get too existential, I bring this up because we can’t figure out the meaning until we quantify the stuff. There’s a very necessary order to all of this. We have to learn the rules, the structures, the bits and pieces of our society so we can figure out how to operate in that world. Like a set of monkey bars on the playground, there has to be a solid structure to build upon. If those bars were all loosey-goosey, you couldn’t hang upside down, walk across the top, or do other feats of daring and fancy. You need structure to support your magnificence.

Yesterday, we talked about recognizing the “limitations” set on your life. The so-called structures that found who you have been in your old testament. You’ve been building the monkey bars on the playground. Before you start doing your feats of magnificence on them, you’d better make sure the structure is the way you want it to be.

What beliefs and core values have not been serving you to fully live according to your True Self? What ‘structures’ have you allowed to be crated in and around your existence that prevent your True Self from fully manifesting?

Michael Bernard Beckwith, founder of Agape International Spiritual Center and creator of the Life Visioning Process talks about asking ourself better questions in order to transform our situations. My favorite two questions are these:

“What is God’s idea of itself for my life?” 

“What must I become in order for this to happen?”

These questions cause us to look at what we have, where we are, and where our True Self is showing up in our current existence. These questions empower us to magnify and enlarge that magnificence according to our own abilities in the moment. They do not require what we do not already possess. They force us, to borrow from Victor Frankl, to meet ourselves where we are at on our journey.

So before you come to the playground, ask yourself: What have you built everything on?

“A four year old constantly asks “why?” in order to understand. What’s stopping us from doing the same?”

- Simon Sinek

When I read this quote, I was sent reeling into my childhood, where I constantly asked ‘why’ in ways that would drive even the most patient of parents bonkers (and mine were not the most patient of parents). I couldn’t get enough reasons, answers, and constantly searched for meaning in everything. When I saw that quote, I saw a piece that had been missing from my adult life. I stopped questioning. I started accepting everything that came to me as truth and started building my monkey bars with those materials.

Some of those “truths” were indeed structurally sound. They have not wavered in decades of testing. Others seem to crumble at the slightest examination. I’m recognizing that my constant interrogating was an in-born utility that allowed me to build the safest, most solid set of monkey bars for my own personal brand of magnificence. When I stopped questioning, I essentially allowed mediocrity to reign in my life.

Well guess what? Now I want to get on with the cool tricks and awesome stunts that can only be performed on my perfect set of monkey bars. I’m watching other people around me, who methodically tested and built their own sets, now walking across the tops, swinging and flinging themselves in death-defying acts of magnificence, while I sit there tearing apart my own creation, feeling as if I’m beginning again.

And I guess in some ways I am. A new testament doesn’t come without some re-tracing of steps and reexamining the old. But my own set of bars is much bigger, higher, and more magnificent than what others have built for themselves. All the more reason I need to test this thing out with intensity. Lest the whole thing collapse on me in mid-flight from one rung to another.

Examine your own structures. Build from a place of empowerment and strength. Start where you are with what you have. Don’t borrow someone else’s structural elements. Or at least, don’t take it for granted that their elements will serve you. Challenge what you’re building and test your structures. When you step into your new testament, it needs to stand firm so you don’t need to worry about the structure anymore.

Then, you’ll be able to pour your passion into the artistry and magnificence that your True Self is craving to bring into the world through you. What must you become to make that happen?

You know, writing and singing songs on a stage in front of thousands of screaming fans. That kind of thing.

Well, I got older, and older, and “life” seemed to get in the way. I all but abandoned that dream for the last fifteen years.

See, I’ve been doing some concentrated living since I graduated high school. I had a kid, got married, had another kid, started a couple of businesses, lost a couple of businesses, and bascially set about living a normal life, instead of chasing after some “hare-brained, childish dream” from a time when my hips were a lot slimmer, and my hair wasn’t even starting to grey.

Then, a friend of mine, who holds a weekly meeting for spiritually minded folks at her shoppe, suggested we all put together vision boards.

I’d been saving up all kinds of bits of paper I’d been wanting to put on a board. I even bought a “life boarding” kit on deep discount back when Borders was going out of business. So I came with all my scraps of paper, a handful of magazines, and realized I didn’t have nearly enough to fill up the board in a way that made me feel worthy.

Which I recognize is crap, but at the time, that’s how I felt.

So I started flipping through some other magazines, and found a few other pictures that caught my fancy. Among them a picture of Bradley Cooper wearing a t-shirt that spoke to me. I glued him down, and plastered another bit of text over his shirt so that it read:

“What if… starts with me”

I’ve been on a big ol “what if” jag for a few months, so I thought it was a cool motivator.

See, some people think “what if” is a downer, a moot point, and a needless waste of breath.

I confess I used to think that way, too.

But now, I see it as a catalyst to potential greatness.

And it’s led me to today’s story.

See, after gluing Bradley down to my board, I became intensely interested in him. I really hadn’t paid him much attention before he was glued to a board I was ogling every morning. In fact, I had watched “All About Steve” and didn’t even realize he starred in it! But he was the only celebrity I had glued to my board, so I figured I should at least know something about him. My research (thank you Wikipedia) led me to two very important discoveries.

The first is that Bradley Cooper and I share the exact same birthdate (month, day and year!). The same cold, snowy Sunday in January, our moms were both in labor. That struck me as TOO much of a coincidence. It drove me to find another connection.

I didn’t really find anything else, but in my search, I came across a press release about a new TV series called “Duets” that ABC is launching this summer. They’re looking for people who want to sing with one of four amazing vocalists. Among them Lionel Richie.

So I put my Bradley Cooper obsession aside for a few minutes and sent an email to the casting folks, indicating my interest in the show.

Then (and this is where I nearly made a baby cry, I was screaming so loud), they sent me an email back, asking for an audition video.

That’s when I realized there’s no such thing as “on a whim” – God knows exactly what he’s doing.

I gave up on being a professional singer more than a decade ago. Yeah, I recorded a couple of albums, but I think I’ve maybe sold about 30 copies total. I wanted to do something later this year, maybe record a new album, but I wasn’t feeling very confident about it, until I auditioned for Duets.

Because even if I DON’T make the cut for the show, I’ll be infinitely farther along than all the people who never even had the courage to audition. And I think I’ve got a pretty good chance at advancing at least to the next round – whatever that looks like.

I spent most of the weekend obsessing over, scripting, shooting and re-shooting the video. Then I sent it, according to their rules.

Then I got an email saying the rules had changed, so I re-sent it.

In the mean time, I also reached out to my friends for encouragement, support, and even some helpful advice (many thanks to @fitarella for her great suggestions).

I learned that I have some amazing friends. People who really want to see me shine and succeed and achieve my dreams.

Which makes me a winner already.

So if you want to see what happens, keep watching. I’ll let you know as soon as I have something I can report. Until then, thanks for being on this journey with me.