Self-sabotage is a mis-nomer. We don’t set out to actually sabotage ourselves. Often, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. The thing we’ve opted to do instead of what we originally planned was supposed to make life easier for us. Unfortunately, things didn’t quite turn out that way.
Sometimes there is truly a deep-seated issue, and I’m not a doctor, so I won’t pretend to diagnose a serious psychological issue from your ancient past (but my friend Sydney might be able to assist). Most creatives, though, use “self-sabotage” as an excuse to resign themselves to mediocrity. Here are three quick and easy steps to get over yourself fast.
End Self-Sabotage in Three (Not So Simple) Steps
1. Set Clear Boundaries – when you’ve given up control over the things you can control in your schedule/life/etc, you’ve allowed someone or something else to violate your boundaries. Take back your control and give yourself permission to…
2. Enforce Those Boundaries – entrepreneurs can carry a lot of guilt around pursuing our passion when others around us aren’t. We give in on “little” things that eventually become big things – and then we find ourselves completely out of sync with our mission/passion in life. We call it self-sabotage, but really, we’ve not enforced our own boundaries out of guilt, shame, or some other disempowering emotion that had us put someone else before us. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when we certainly MUST put someone else before ourselves, but when it becomes a habit, you need to check your boundaries.
3. Forgive Yourself And Move On – as a recovering “all or nothing” girl myself, I know this is difficult. We set boundaries, we don’t enforce them, we suffer the consequences. Many of us CONTINUE to suffer the consequences, instead of giving ourselves permission to re-set the boundaries, re-prioritize our life, and get back on track (aka MOVE ON!)
Short, sweet and to the point today. You’re already doing enough stalling! Above all a creative works best when coming from a place of loving service. So LOVE your work enough to set clear boundaries. Love others enough to enforce those boundaries. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself and move on when you screw up.
Need some extra support? The PEACE System is a tool that can help you reclaim your sanity and your boundaries, while getting more of the right things done in less time.