Relinquish

We spend lots of time this time of year crafting, drafting, and editing our list of “resolutions” – which to me is hysterical, because our resolve quickly crumbles – often before the Chinese New Year begins (which, for those of you wondering, is Jan 23 in 2012).

So I gave some thought to what I REALLY wanted to let go of (once again, thanks to Amy Oscar’s amazing prompts), and created a list of ten things to stop doing in 2012:

1. Hiding my light under a bushel. There are a few things I’m pretty good at, if I can trust my friends to tell me the truth, and I enjoy doing them, so by golly, I want to do more of it – and enjoy the limelight a little in the process.

2. Judging myself based on my eating habits. “I was good today” is a load of crap. What I eat doesn’t determine my “goodness” or “badness” it just is what it is.

3. Allowing distractions to interfere with my morning sacred practice. There are mornings when the kid has “mom-dar” and just seems to know when I’m awake – regardless of my rousal time. But other times, I make room for distractions to creep into what needs to be a sacred time of meditation and prayer. I’ve started creating new habits around this. We’ll see how the trend continues.

4. Confusing one emotion for another. Often, I say I’m bored when really, I’m lonely. Or I’ll say I’m angry, when really, I’m hurt. It’s not about lying about my feelings, it’s about saying the thing that’s less intrusive on others, instead of being honest about what I’m really feeling. My goal is to be more honest with myself about what’s really going on with me.

5. Feeling guilty about not sending cards. I’m not a card sender. I say thanks, I email, I even call (which for me is HUGE). This year, I picked up texting on my phone, so I’ve got that going for me, too. For whatever reason, I’ve always felt guilty when I get cards in the mail, and while I love getting them, I hate sending them. So don’t expect ‘em from me, ‘k? And if you get one, consider yourself lucky!

6. “Trying” so hard. When Yoda said “there is no try” he obviously hadn’t met me. I’m one of the most trying people I know sometimes. ALWAYS trying something. Sometimes, trying too hard to “make” something work. Sometimes, stuff just doesn’t work, and that’s okay. I’m learning that in 2011, and want to fully internalize it in 2012.

7. Taking ignorant admonitions to heart. Some people around me really want what they think is best for me, and I love them for that. Problem is, they have no clue what’s best for me, and instead of embracing that truism, I’ve let their admonitions become my marching orders for far too many years. Sometimes, I really do know what’s best for me, better than they ever could. They’re not stupid, they just don’t know from whence they speak.

8. Ignoring the precious advice of my really smart friends. Some people around me really want what they think is best for me, and I love them for that. Problem is, I don’t always know the ins and outs of what I’m trying to do, and instead of embracing that truism, I’ve run off, half-cocked without fully listening to, or heeding their advice. Sometimes, they really do know what’s best for me, better than I ever could. They’re smart, and know from whence they speak, and I want to learn more by example instead of trial and error.

9. Making excuses instead of friends. There are always reasons why I can’t participate. Some of them are incredibly valid, but most of the time, they are lame-o. I want to have the birthday party that’s always packed, the funeral that’s standing room only, and I can’t do that from behind my computer screen all the time. Get ready, world, Lisa’s coming out to play!

10. Being anything less than fully expressed. I’ve got lots of great stories – and a few yucky ones. Sharing them is part of what makes me Lisa – and it’s high time people got the regular strength dosage, instead of the diluted dose of Lisa. Sometimes I come on strong, and I’m pretty dang enthusiastic. Sometimes I’m grumpy or angry – especially if you’ve crossed a friend. Always, though, I seek to understand, and be the compassionate person, and while I’m a little zany, I’m definitely “good people” as my mom would say. So it’s time to let that light shine – in all its glory (including typos and grammatical errors, thankyouverymuch!)

What are you getting ready to shed and embrace? I woke up this morning with an inspiration for a “receiving zone” a space in my home and my heart that is cleared and waiting to receive what is trying to reach me. Part of that comes from being able to relinquish that which no longer serves. As a confirmed and recovering pack rat, that’s a challenge. But I’m up for a challenge. You?