Be The Fear Inside You

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The scariest thing in the world to me is to stop doing. I’m compelled to be doing something all the time. Like, if I don’t do something, I’m not doing anything, which makes me a drain on society, instead of contributing to the greater good.

Don’t get me started on self-care and the guilt/necessity circle that rages in my head from time to time. I know self-care is an act of doing. I have a client that likes to say “taking care of yourself is taking care of business.”

But when Mary Jaksch asked what’s scary to write about, I got to thinking how much I “do” because of that fear, and how many people have the opposite problem. They are paralyzed by fear.

Building a business can be scary stuff.

Do it anyway.

Facing the comments and reactions from well-meaning family and friends – when they ask you what you’re up to and just don’t “get it” – can be scary.

Do it anyway.

Charting your own course is scary.

Do it anyway.

Facing financial uncertainty and taking big risks is scary.

Do. It. Anyway.

The fear you feel is real. I don’t care what any rah-rah motivational speaker will tell you. The “false expectations appearing real” stuff doesn’t overcome the anxiety you feel in the fear moment.

Instead, be the fear inside you.

Embrace it. Acknowledge it. Stop trying to pretend it’s not there, because it’s a very real part of you, and from what I’ve heard from dozens of entrepreneurs (much farther along than I am), it does not go away.

It subsides from time to time. It mutates, and takes different forms to fit the occasion. But every time you’re up to something big, it’s there.

Sometimes you’ve got to do the scary stuff first. Okay, MOST of the time, you’ve got to do the scary stuff first. But very often, you can take the big, scary thing, and find the smaller, less scary piece of it that’s very doable right now.

Take the step. Do it.

“That’s the secret — the moment you are inspired with an amazing, horribly scary idea, take the very first action step. Even if you don’t know the second action step. Especially if you don’t know the second action step.”

- Elizabeth Potts Weinstein

If you don’t, you’re not being your heroic self. You’re hiding in the shadows, most likely still staring at the door. If you’re not ready to be yourself, what business do you have trying to build a business to serve others?

Another #Trust30 author, Lachlan Cotter, put said it better: “Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?”

The best way to combat fear is with clarity. Once you can clearly see a thing, it loses the mystery. Magic tricks are no longer so awe-inspiring. The Rubik’s Cube becomes less daunting.

In the MacGyver episode “Hell Week“, each of the students in the contest has a “barricade”  - some secret way of unlocking a door. Each puzzle looks – well, puzzling – until you figure out the solution. Even the most intricate barricade (a miniature model of the dorm room) was easy to solve when there was clarity around how it worked (okay, the kid cheated to get that clarity, but the point is it wasn’t hard to solve once he had the answer).

“I am not afraid. I was born for this.”

- Joan of Arc

When you stop being victimized by your fear, you see more clearly.

It takes small acting and big visioning to vanquish fear. When fear subsides, you can breathe, move more freely, and make better choices. You get to be your heroic self.

8 Questions to Vanquish Fear And Be Your Heroic Self

1. What’s that “big scary thing” looming in your shadows?
2. What makes it so scary? Write it down.
3. What one thing could you change to make it less scary? Just pick ONE thing.
4. What would happen if you made that change? Get clear.
5. What’s stopping you from making that change? Be specific.
6. What can you do to remove the roadblock to change? If it’s still too scary, go back to Question 2.
7. When will you make the change? Give yourself a timeline and honor it.
8. What’s the next one thing you could change to make it less scary? Then go back to Question 4.