Aim High and Slowly Cook The Frog

“Aimless is where we end up when we don’t care so much about where we’re going, or we try to hide and limit our contributions.”

- Seth Godin

Our brains are tricky. They like to keep us safe. Our “reptilian brains” are designed for survival. To keep us in the comfort zone of the known.

Is it any wonder we get stuck so easily at times?

Chris Guillebeau’s prompt for the #Trust30 challenge got me thinking about goals and destinations. While I’m not really talking about  my travel plans here, it aligns nicely with Seth’s quote, and how we need a destination in mind.

But when we plan destinations, those destinations aren’t a trip to “the corner store.” Our trips are designed to be memorable. Maybe not memorable or exciting for the next guy, but memorable and exciting for us. Nobody I know makes a big production out of a trip to the library. A trip to Rome, or the mountains, or the wilderness, or some “destination” almost always becomes a production on a scale at least slightly larger than said trip to the library.

In business, we don’t strive to be average or mediocre. We don’t wake up and say “I wanna be number seven!”

Yet, our reptilian brains, already comfortable with being seventh, like to trick us into staying put. 

“Hey, being seventh isn’t so bad! We’re doing okay. We’ve got some pretty good company here in the top ten. There’s nothing wrong with this. We actually kind of like it here. Why don’t we just hang out here for a while? Let’s not rock the boat, we could lose all of the comfort that seventh place provides.”

So much for that destination.

I’ve learned we can’t just throw the frog into a pot of hot water or he’ll jump out. The bigger the target (regardless of what the law of attraction says), the longer it takes most people to achieve it. Now, “big” is a relative term, and the only definition that matters is the one in your reptilian brain.

So how do we cook the frog?

One degree at a time. When we say “Heck no! I want to be number one!” Our lizard brain starts freaking out.

“Danger! Danger Will Robinson!” And he leaps out of the pot.

But if instead, we give ourselves time, and say “Hey, you know what? Seventh isn’t bad. And I bet sixth is even better. Let’s take a peek, shall we? No commitments – we can always come back to seventh if we don’t like sixth. Let’s just ‘test it’ and see.”

Lizard-brain puts up a small fight, but generally doesn’t jump out of the pot.

“Hey, I’m not so sure about sixth! I mean it feels kinda like seventh, but it’s different. But… it’s not so different. Actually, it’s kind of comfy here. You know what? I think I like sixth! Yeah, Sixth is the place for me!”

That’s how we cook the frog… one degree at a time.

For some of you, your steps need not be so small. Maybe it’s easier for you to stretch your comfort zone. Your baby step may be someone else’s leap frog.

I am not one of those kinds of people. When I create “big” goals for my business, it’s too much of a struggle to keep the frog in the pot.

Unless…

Unless I can see the next baby step that will get me to that big goal. Then, the baby step becomes my big goal, and the frog stays put.

Backward planning helps with this. See the end first, then plan the steps backward until you get to where you currently are.

Then start with that very next step.

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”
- Bruce Lee

So aim high, and focus on the baby steps. You may find, along the way that you don’t want what you’re aiming for. As a child, I dreamed of living in San Francisco. I focused a lot of energy in researching communities, learning about the area, even went so far as to apply to colleges out west so I could be closer to the area.

Then, I realized that it wasn’t for me. Did I waste all that time? Nope. It trained me to be a better researcher. It helped me learn more about the country in which I live – and an area of the country for which I have an affection. It fed my craving for learning, and taught me gratitude for where I already am. It helped me be okay with being myself.

Definitely not a waste of time or energy. I still love the area. I just know it’s not where I want to live anymore.

I like Seth’s idea of “aimful” versus “aimless” – we are adventurers, are we not? We need a destination – a grand one. One that is commensurate with our undeniable gifts. One that is lofty enough to challenge us, and serve the world in our own mighty way.

Then, we focus on the baby steps to get there.

5 Questions To Help You Cook the Frog:

1. What’s that big scary goal you want to accomplish?
2. Why is it scary to you?
3. Can you see the smaller steps inside that bigger goal?
4. What is the next step (however small it is) that you could try on for size?
5. When will you do it?