Saying ‘No’ is Sexy Part One: Boundaries

In a recent conversation with Ann Evanston, we talked about bringing sexy back to business. She is the beauty and brains behind warrior-preneur.com and is an instructor at my Small Biz Super Summit at the end of the month.

One of the key take-aways from that conversation was the idea that saying ‘no’ is sexy.

I have been SO un-sexy lately. And it takes work for me to say no.

Speaking opp? Okay.

Performance opp? Sure thing!

Sign up for a free teleclass? Why not?!

Help you promote your stuff? How can I help!?

In fact, for most women, it’s hard to say no – most of the time.

But this week, I put in some extra effort and turned down a couple of bright shiny objects that were REALLY appealing to me.

And I felt sexy.

And by ‘sexy’, I mean I felt more in control of who I am, what I’m about, and proud of the way I’m taking care of myself and my business.

Could there be anything more sexy?

Yes. Saying ‘no’ is sexy, but saying ‘YES!’ is even sexier – when you say ‘yes’ to the right things.

I said ‘yes’ to writing a book by the end of April, and getting it proofed and ready to publish. Yesterday, I said yes to creating a new e-book about the three secrets I’ve uncovered to get more of the right things done in my life. You can get your own copy when you post your details in the opt-in box on my website. I’m excited about sharing it and can’t wait to get your feedback.

Look at all the stuff I’m getting done! Because I chose to be sexy! Saying ‘no’ to bright shiny objects, and saying ‘yes’ to business enhancing projects.

That’s a whole lotta sexy goin’ on. By saying no, I was able to say yes.

Now instinctively I know that. I’ve read the books that say ‘create a vacuum in your life to make room for the better things God has planned for you’, ‘less is more’ and stuff like that.

And usually, I’m pretty good about sticking to my plans. Every once in a while, we all get distracted. And while those BSO’s have been flying through my radar for years, sometimes we need to get distracted.

I made an impromptu investment in a coaching program with Marcia Hoeck – and you’ve already seen my posts on how that worked out. I wouldn’t trade that BSO for anything. It moved my business exponentially down the field toward my ultimate goal. It distracted me from my work on the Super Summit, but it WASN’T a distraction for The Renaissance Mom. It was a MUST DO.

Part of my saying ‘no’ has been cleaning out my in-box this week. It’s been more than 3 years since I’ve had less than 1000 UNREAD messaged in my mailbox. I started having my assistant create filters, and I STILL had over 2000 unread messages. The oldest unread message dated back to April, 2008. Now most of these are subscription notices or updates and marketing messages that I just never opened because they didn’t apply to me. But I didn’t delete them, either. tsk tsk tsk.

As I went back to the messages from 2007, I saw an email promoting a website that is now defunct. Then another and another. In 2008, I saw more emails of the same ilk. Emails touting the next “latest and greatest” thing, and when you click on the link, the sites no longer exist.

These folks fell off my radar months, if not years ago, and yet they were still in my in-box. I think it’s safe to say I was one of those ‘non-responsive’ list members (more on that in part two)!

I know a women who STILL holds the recruiting title in her company for adding more than 50 recruits in a single month in her direct sales business. And yet, by the end of the year, less than 10 of those recruits were still active. She spent SO much time and energy training them, and lost 80% of them by the end of the year.

I’m not one to want to spin my wheels like that. That’s too much like work, and not enough like enjoyment, for me.

Setting healthy boundaries – in my personal and business life has allowed me to actually HAVE a life. Minimum wheel spinning, maximum enjoyment.

It doesn’t get much sexier than that.