Lisa Robbin Young: Storyteller. Lovepreneur – Connect. Inform. Inspire.

Achieving The Impossible Has a Cost

Posted by in Big Ideas, Faith | 17 comments

Note: I wanted to say doing the impossible ain’t cheap, but cheap is a relative term.

Super Mom to the RescueThere’s a definite value to being able to do something other people say you can’t. Being able to recognize both the cost and the value, however, is where the rubber meets the road.

Today, my first real day “back to work” since Creating Irresistible Presence (#CIP) in Atlanta, I had to do both.

A potential client set up a pre-screening call to discuss her goals and for me to get to know her business better. This is something I regularly do before developing an online strategy for a new client. It helps us hit the ground running when the actual strategy session takes place.

I called at the appointed time. No answer. I left a message and sat down to fill my time with another project until she called back.

Here’s where I waffled: I called her again 10 minutes later to see if maybe we missed each other. We connected and I spent the next 20 minutes discussing her business, her goals, and what she’d like to accomplish.

Since this was a barter arrangement, I explained my fee, how the barter program works, and what she could expect when we scheduled an hour of time to work on her project.

She balked. BIG time. And I could feel the terror of “losing a client” rising inside me.

While she went on about how she couldn’t see the value in working with me for only an hour, justifying in her mind that she really didn’t want to work with me at my current rate, something transcendent happened. Her voice seemed to fade as other voices rushed in:

My assistant warned me yesterday: “She seemed to have a bit of an attitude, and didn’t sound excited.”

My #CIP friends: “You are a-ma-zing!”

Past clients: “I can’t believe how much we accomplished in an hour!”

And on.. and on.. I almost feel bad for the woman on the other end of the phone. I really wasn’t listening to her.

I was listening to ME. To my gut, to my God-voice telling me that this woman will be more headache than she’s worth and that I shouldn’t be trying to work with her.

So while she was trying to find reasons to not work with me, I was trying to justify not working with HER!

Finally, I politely said, “Well, I can understand that if you don’t see the value in working with me, or that you’re not able to afford it at this time, that’s no problem. I have to let you go now, I have another appointment in a few minutes. If you change your mind, you’ll know how to reach me. Have a great day!”

And I said it with confidence, clarity, and courage. Without desperation oozing from my voice.

Frankly, I hope she never calls back, but if she does, she’ll know that working with me provides great value, AND there’s a cost.

Opportunity costs are the things we give up in order to get the things we have. Sometimes the costs are small: a few dollars to have lunch with a friend instead of a new blouse. A new toy for our child instead of a new book for our learning library.

Opportunity cost means sacrificing one choice in favor of another.

Before I went to #CIP, I was presented with three incredible opportunities:

  • The #CIP, 3-day intensive, where I could mix, mingle and learn in a live environment
  • An 8 week virtual course, that literally helped me make $5000 without even registering for it.
  • A trip to Vegas to hob-knob and rub elbows with some movers and shakers at a private party for a friend of mine.

I chose #CIP. And as Robert Frost said, “That has made all the difference.”

Before Atlanta, I struggled with the voice of The Renaissance Mom. Who was she? What was she really about? How do I connect to her and through her to my audience?

This was the reason I chose to come to Atlanta. At first, I was afraid it wasn’t happening. I wasn’t going to be able to find that voice. I had to let go of what I thought I knew.

I thought my “audience” was mompreneurs/working moms. That’s part of it, but not every mompreneur resonates with me – and a lot of my followers aren’t moms at all (you guys know who you are!).

Finally, I had to recognize that The Renaissance Mom… is me.

That was incredibly hard for me to swallow. Because I didn’t want to believe it was about me. I wouldn’t even put my face on the cover of my albums because even my music wasn’t about me.

And that, too, has a cost. Becoming a superhero means creating (and living up to) an identity. An identity I didn’t want to embrace.

Because I’ve never thought that my business was about me. It’s always been about helping other people achieve their heart’s desire – in life, in business, whatever. That’s been my passion.

But the opportunity cost has been too great:

  • Lost income opportunities
  • Lost relationship opportunities
  • Lost business opportunities

All that self-deprecating was getting me nowhere fast.

It’s time to give up on what I thought I knew and embrace the new truth: it is about me.

It’s not that I’m arrogant, or becoming some kind of an elitist. It’s just that it’s time to give myself proper credit, and value myself in the same way I coach my clients to value themselves.

To stop chasing clients that are wrong for me, and be confident in who I am and what I do for the clients that love me.

Inasmuch as I have a super power, I must have a super hero name. Wonder Woman was already taken.

The Renaissance Mom is about re-birth, renewal, and transformation from the old “impossible” mindset into a new way of viewing all the possibilities in life and the world around you. To STOP believing in the impossible, and instead, embrace creative ways to achieve the improbable.

I’m trying to convince my husband that he’s my trusty sidekick, but he’s not buying it yet.

The phoenix is the brand on my chest. Like Superman’s “S” or the bat on The Caped Crusader’s yellow emblem. The ultimate symbol of re-birth, renewal and transformation at the elemental level.

Gosh, everything seems so much clearer now, doesn’t it?

So strap in, my friends, because this is the beginning of a very public re-birthing process for The Renaissance Mom. My plan is to make the impossible happen, right here, where you can bear witness.

It will probably be messy. When you’re first learning how to be a superhero, it can be quite awkward and clumsy. I’ll probably dive into the phone booth a couple of times and smash my face on the glass. Les McKeown said in his book “Predictable Success” that “sometimes reality just refuses to be neat and tidy.”

You heard it here first.

So to that woman on the phone today, please understand that I’m not slighting you, I’m choosing instead, to value myself. If you’re going to stand around, hemming and hawing, you’re not ready to grow your business like a real business.

That’s an hour of our lives we’ll never get back, so why waste it in the first place?

  • http://amyoscar.com Amy Oscar

    Woo hoo! What a perfect new (or rather, what a beautiful name you discovered after peeling and peeling and peeling away all the names that are not you. I feel moved to offer you the greeting I give to all newborns: Welcome, Renaissance Mom! Welcome to the world. We have been waiting for you!

    • http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

      Newborn. How very appropriate! It feels like labor and delivery today. Thanks for being a mid-wife of sorts and encouraging this transformation.

  • http://amyoscar.com Amy Oscar

    Woo hoo! What a perfect new (or rather, what a beautiful name you discovered after peeling and peeling and peeling away all the names that are not you. I feel moved to offer you the greeting I give to all newborns: Welcome, Renaissance Mom! Welcome to the world. We have been waiting for you!

    • http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

      Newborn. How very appropriate! It feels like labor and delivery today. Thanks for being a mid-wife of sorts and encouraging this transformation.

  • Anonymous

    YOU go Lisa!!! I’m strapped in, ready for the messy re-birthing. I’m doing the same. I appreciate you calling me out on Twitter to read this. Because I NEEDed to read this today as I falter w/ rates and try to remain firm on what I’ve taken away from CIP w/ my family (who are not buying it at all). To the needy client who wants to keep making changes — “we’re well beyond the minimum hours for this project, so I can make those changes for an additional $150/hour” … yeah, we’re done there. No more charity work. I like to give back but when the givee bleeds you dry, that’s not good thing.

    It is all about valuing ourselves. I love the symbol of the phoenix on your superhero uniform. Mine is a twirling red swing dress … no apologies. no second guessing. We are worth what we charge because we know our stuff. We know how to help our clients … and the ones who are really going to value (and PAY) for our time and services know that. They will come.

    xoxo, Lori

    • http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

      Absolutely! Go create your own super hero: http://marvel.com/create_your_own_superhero

      I thought about you, because I know it’s not easy for all that buy-in. Here’s a thought to help you cross the bridge: i created a “stray cat fund” that I use to give back appropriately and keep myself in check. When the stray cat fund is gone for the month, the “charity work” ends. :-)

      luv ya!

  • http://www.flirtygrrl.com Lori Paquette

    YOU go Lisa!!! I’m strapped in, ready for the messy re-birthing. I’m doing the same. I appreciate you calling me out on Twitter to read this. Because I NEEDed to read this today as I falter w/ rates and try to remain firm on what I’ve taken away from CIP w/ my family (who are not buying it at all). To the needy client who wants to keep making changes — “we’re well beyond the minimum hours for this project, so I can make those changes for an additional $150/hour” … yeah, we’re done there. No more charity work. I like to give back but when the givee bleeds you dry, that’s not good thing.

    It is all about valuing ourselves. I love the symbol of the phoenix on your superhero uniform. Mine is a twirling red swing dress … no apologies. no second guessing. We are worth what we charge because we know our stuff. We know how to help our clients … and the ones who are really going to value (and PAY) for our time and services know that. They will come.

    xoxo, Lori

    • http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

      Absolutely! Go create your own super hero: http://marvel.com/create_your_own_superhero

      I thought about you, because I know it’s not easy for all that buy-in. Here’s a thought to help you cross the bridge: i created a “stray cat fund” that I use to give back appropriately and keep myself in check. When the stray cat fund is gone for the month, the “charity work” ends. :-)

      luv ya!

  • Anonymous

    Yep. yep. yep. :-) I will echo Amy Oscar (who is so amazingly wise). We’ve been waiting for you. And I simply cannot wait to watch your phoenix rise. It’s gonna be spectacular. GO YOU!

  • Anonymous

    Yep. yep. yep. :-) I will echo Amy Oscar (who is so amazingly wise). We’ve been waiting for you. And I simply cannot wait to watch your phoenix rise. It’s gonna be spectacular. GO YOU!

  • http://twitter.com/k8dotcom kate siegel

    Brilliant!

  • http://twitter.com/k8dotcom kate siegel

    Brilliant!

  • http://katjaibur.posterous.com/ Kat Jaibur

    It’s so true. In order to say “yes” to what we want, we must say “no” to what we don’t want. The trick is to stay focused on what we want. You absolutely have that clarity, Lisa. Yay, Lisa! Also, I’ve found that barter arrangements can get messy. Why? People value what they put their money into. Hence the woman not calling you on time. But we can use every experience to get clearer about what we do want, as you have here. We have seen your brilliance. You are on your way, cape and all. And thanks for sharing so honestly with us. Yes, the world is waiting for you!

    • http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

      I’ve never had problems with barter arrangements, mostly because I’m extremely clear on how it all works (it’s just like cash according to the IRS). That usually slows folks down (as it did a little in this case).

      You’re right about saying no to what doesn’t serve the greater picture. Thanks for sharing that insight. Loved connecting with you in Atlanta and look forward to more convos in the future!

  • http://katjaibur.posterous.com/ Kat Jaibur

    It’s so true. In order to say “yes” to what we want, we must say “no” to what we don’t want. The trick is to stay focused on what we want. You absolutely have that clarity, Lisa. Yay, Lisa! Also, I’ve found that barter arrangements can get messy. Why? People value what they put their money into. Hence the woman not calling you on time. But we can use every experience to get clearer about what we do want, as you have here. We have seen your brilliance. You are on your way, cape and all. And thanks for sharing so honestly with us. Yes, the world is waiting for you!

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  • http://www.idanceiwrite.com idanceiwrite

    Yayyyy! Standing up and applauding! Love it Lisa. How fabulous. Another reminder that to ‘get clear with ourself first’ and the rest falls in place. xoxo

  • http://www.idanceiwrite.com idanceiwrite

    Yayyyy! Standing up and applauding! Love it Lisa. How fabulous. Another reminder that to ‘get clear with ourself first’ and the rest falls in place. xoxo

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